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Active Questions

How can a guy who is a player change and become a good a guy or is there no hope?
Dating / 6:43 PM - Thursday April 09, 2009

How can a guy who is a player change and become a good a guy or is there no hope?

Update: April 10, 2009.
I didn't ask this because I am trying to change someone.I asked because I was curious to know if a player can change his ways..I understand u can't change a person....they have to want that change within themselfs.thanks to all who responeded..ur advice was helpful!=-)

- Asked by MyHeartBelongsInNYC, A Trendsetter, Female, 26-28, Fashion

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Some of them change after they grow up. But some grow up sooner than others do. There are a lot of middle aged and even elderly players out there (can't figure out if it's dementia or just delusion with some of those...)

Bottom line: Change has to come from within. You can never do it for them, no matter how spectacular you happen to be.

- Response by uniquelyme2, A Creative, Female, 46-55, Artist / Musician / Writer

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Sure he can. Especially at your age.

Most "players" end up growing out of that behavior eventually. So there is always hope. :)

But, that said, you need to realize that there's not really anything *you* can do to change his behavior. He needs to be the one who determines that being a player isn't his thing anymore. And that could take quite a long time.

So if you're interested in someone like that, be very careful.
And very patient. ;)

- Response by piscesrising, A Thinker, Female, Who Cares?, Boston, Internet / New Media

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Through time and experience, if at all. But you don't want to wait around for all that time. If he's a player and you wish he'd change, it's a sign that it's not meant to be.

End it fast, grit your teeth, and move on. Time will heal the wounds.

- Response by lucid, A Career Man, Male, 26-28, Who Cares?

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People really do change! I'm sure with time he will get bored of it, otherwise finding a good enough girl who can keep him grounded and fit his standards will do the trick!

- Response by girlnextdoor1687, A Hippie Chick, Female, 26-28, Other Profession

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Nope they will always be "players" doesn't mean they can't be faithful, loving and loyal... But their basic personality will always want to roam... Just think of being a home base to a man that needs a really long leash...

- Response by siouxzen, A Career Woman, Female, Who Cares?, Los Angeles, Self-Employed

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It is not for YOU to hope if he changes his ways. He has to do it for himself, otherwise it will be artificial.... sufficient enough to keep you around until an inevitable relapse into his old ways.

Best for you to move on. Seriously, this game is old.... full of broken hearted folk who waited and waited for a person to change instead of backing off and going out to get the kind of connection they deserve.

Waiting around for that is like holding your breath until you pass out...... so don't be waiting to exhale.

- Response by king313, A Rebel, Male, 29-35, Detroit, Technical

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Some change. When they are ready. Some never do. And you can't MAKE them change. That change has to come from within. And if I were you and I wouldn't hold my breath. Why bet on a guy with such a bad track record? There are guys out there who are NOT players. Go for one of those.

- Response by silver75, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Stockholm, Other Profession

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You can't change people, sure, you can hope that they change...but it should be on their own Accord/

- Response by divatoonami, A Trendsetter, Female, 36-45, Administrative

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I was never miss innocent growing up and I always believed that once a cheater always a cheater, but I am now 22 and in love for my first time. I would never cheat on him or do anything to hurt him.
All in all, I think they will change when they find the one that is right :)

- Response by babybutt06, A Life of the Party, Female, 29-35, Military

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Playing is a fun game when you're young but once a guy hits 30 he wants to slow down and settle down, probably start a family.

- Response by son2009, A Guy Critical, Male, 29-35, Teaching

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some grow out of it some die like that, it depends on his mind set. if its his goal to be like that then he ont change. if he feels he wants to play the field till he meets the right girl or till he reachz a certain age then he will do that.
its really upto him to change and having hope is crazy coz his mind is already made up here.........:-)

- Response by musical85, A Career Woman, Female, 29-35, Student

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A guy who is a player can definitely change! My boyfriend and I were close friends for years before we started dating and he used to be a player, but we have been together for a year and a half and wow has he changed! I think one of two things has to happen: they either have to grow up or find that one girl who they are willing to change for because they want to make it work!

- Response by greeneyedbeauty88, A Thinker, Female, 22-25

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Wow!! I have been in a relationship with someone I found out was the BIGGEST Player ever!! It shakes the ground we thought we were standing on.
I really think sure it's possible - but when and at what cost to you?
I also think it really depends on why he is a player and how big of one?
I was told by a very good and older friend of mine that they will never change unless they have to and even then???
How long has he been one, what are his motivatorsn to be one? Does he lie? or do you know the truth about everything? Does he lie about things that dont have anything to do with your relationship? All answers and more tell alot about how deeply ingrained his "player persona" is.
I wish you much luck as it is hard and when in the middle of it can seem nearly impossible. But POSSIBLE it is!!
Be good to you!!

- Response by sadieladie74, A Hip Hop Girl, Female, 36-45, Seattle, Self-Employed

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i dont think theres hope. people are who they are. there are rare cases when you can honestly say you changed your partner the way you wanted him to be

- Response by silenceiskey77, A Thinker, Female, 26-28

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