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Should a guy always be the one to initiate conversation?
Dating / 6:56 PM - Monday April 06, 2009

Should a guy always be the one to initiate conversation?

I typically hold the old fashioned beliefe that if a guy is really interested in me he will start all conversations, and that I should refrain from doing so.
What are your thoughts?

- Asked by lesliebby29, A Player, Female, 22-25, Who Cares?

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I don't think so. I'm old fashioned all right, but some guy's are so painfully shy that they just can't get up the nerve. You might miss out on a really great guy or a great new friendship. If you don't want it to be like your really hitting on him....keep it light, add some humor....maybe like this: "I bet you $5 if you asked me out for coffee, I wouldn't say no", and smile.

- Response by solstess, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Detroit, Artist / Musician / Writer

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You should initiate some of them. If you never start up a conversation he'll think that you're just being polite or friendly by speaking to him if he talks to you and aren't interested in him. He'll move on to someone else that shows some interest in him.

- Response by zeppo, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 46-55, Other Profession

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i know ur old fashioned, but stick with the times =] there's nothing more than a turn on, if a girl wants u, and she initiates the conversation. each guy fears rejection, if a girl comes up and starts talkin to him, he will feel he has a better chance. and also, u mite miss out on the guy of ur dreams, if u dont take the intiative in pursuing urself =]

- Response by ramen, A Creative, Male, 29-35, Los Angeles, Celebrity

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My thoughts? I think that if you continue doing that that you'll miss out on some amazingly wonderful "conversations."

- Response by carinabay, A Cool Mom, Female, 46-55, Lawyer

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Just remember relationships are partnerships; that means 50-50 split of the effort and 100 percent of the results. These days, if men are forced to be the pursuers all the time they begin to wonder if the woman likes them. Give a little and they know you're interested.

- Response by lioness21, A Player, Female, 29-35, Consulting

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I believe that it is best for the guy to initiate a conversation. If there is something out there that you want to say and he just is not opening up, you have to bring it up. It wont hurt anyone and the guy will (in most cases) be impressed. Most guys like smart girls and if he is on the shyer side then he will love to hear what you have to say.

The only negative thing is a girl who talks too much and wont shut up. There is something called a pleasant silence, where nobody needs to say anything and you already know what is happening. Some women don't realize this and there in lies a problem.

On the happier side I love it when a women speaks up, it shows me that she doesn't just have looks, she has courage and smarts!

- Response by spdcrz, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 29-35, Vancouver, Fitness

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I believe that some men will not say a single word if they are shy. Sometimes we have to take the initiative and make a move.

If we don't, we are letting the cutie go! And most guys will not know when we like them and are unsure so they may not make the move. You gotta give them a sign or something to show you are interested as well.

- Response by A Thinker, Female, 26-28, Who Cares?

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I generally believe this too...but really girls have to initiate some conversations too.

- Response by imlivingthedream, A Career Woman, Female, 26-28, Financial / Banking

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No.. Most guys are tired of rejection, and most guys have been rejected alot through the years.. Rejection, even though you are not supposed to take it personally still is rejection.. Rejection eventually comes down to "I wasn't good enough for her" in most guys minds.. It tears at a guys confidence and self esteem.. If a woman initiates conversation with a man, it is highly unlikely the man will stop it unless he is taken.. If a woman want to take it further than conversation it is again highly unlikely the guy will refuse, unless he is taken.. Women really hold power when it comes to initiating anything.. The old saying is "She's going to do what she wants, when she wants and with who she wants, so relax".. The woman has to like you first or nothing further is going to happen.. Thats the bottom line.. So ladies, if you see a guy that strikes your fancy speak up, he's probably already in love with you, but can't take another hit.. And you thought it was easy being a man... LMAO...

- Response by dessert58, A Father Figure, Male, 56-65, Managerial

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