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Is it possible to turn a fwb relationship into a regular relationship?
Friendship / 2:54 AM - Monday April 06, 2009

Is it possible to turn a fwb relationship into a regular relationship?

Basically I have a fwb relationship which is ok and is orginally what I wanted. But lately he's got me wondering whether hes wanting more. He's basically asking questions to see if I am or have been with anyone other than him.

If I say something about going out he tries to like talk me out of it without necisarily saying flat out not to go. Hes gotten to where he wants me to stay over night. So I guess the better question is does he want more or is he just trying to make sure no one is fishing in his pond? And whats the best way to tell if hes wanting more?

- Asked by Female, 22-25

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it sounds like he is trying to get more out of this

if he doesnt want you to be with other guys and hes trying to keep you close to him, its obviously not just no-strings-attached sex to him.

i think the best approach here is to accept his invites to stay over and talk to him about you two over breakfast.
dont be too direct tho, maybe he isnt ready for a relationship and telling him you absolutely want to marry him might make him run away screaming.
try a "so where dyou think we're at as a couple?" to keep things open for him to voice his opinion.
also an option "my friends say we're like an actual couple, by the amount of time we're spending together", thisll give him the opportunity to express (read facial expression) anxiety or happiness.

you do have a risk of losing him if youre too direct, but if he cares about you he should be perfectly fine!

good luck.

- Response by clogwog, A Thinker, Female, 22-25, Melbourne, Student

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It's very possible. Almost everyone here will tell you to give up on it. Don't. At least try if that's what you want.

When he starts asking the questions, ask him if he wants to move to the type of relationship where that is his business. Unless he doesn't answer, you'll find out what he wants.

- Response by desrtrat57, A Father Figure, Male, 56-65, Self-Employed

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FWB's CAN turn into more, but I do have to tell you this is very rare and difficult because of the way in which the relationship began. It takes mountains of hard work in getting to know each other and can take years to undo the initial 'booty call' damage. I have done this but it took us YEARS to discover by accident we were both in deep.

At this time, based on the details you've given, it sounds as though he's merely possessive of you. Many men are possessive of what they consider their property. Stop answering his questions as to who you've been with - tell him it's none of his business as you're not in a relat. and see how he responds to that. Let him believe you're dating others, that is one way to know. Sometimes you have to use jealousy to stoke the fires within him and make him think. If a man wants more, he will usually say so and act accordingly. Does he profess his feelings for you other than jealousy, does he take you out to dinner/movies, etc.? If not, you're in a box my friend.

If it is you who is wanting to take this somewhere else, try asking him to do things with you and see how he responds. If you wait around for some sign, hunny I'm afraid you'll be waiting til you're old and gray because you've given him the green light that you're willing to accept this situation as it is.

- Response by meandmrjones, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Who Cares?

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I say ask him.

- Response by rosebudlea, A Hippie Chick, Female, 46-55

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I sort of had the same problem. A guy that started out being a fwb invited himself to come over and stay the night. I don't do overnighters. I don't care who it is, I don't go there. I said no. He said OK. A few months later, he suggested coming over for the night - coming over late at night and leaving early in the morning. Again, I declined. We both know that we are seeking other people for fwb relationships and neither of us wants to be married or stuck in a full-time relationship. I believe that what he wants is to have the feel of a full-time relationship, sleeping all night with a woman rather than just a dating situation. That's just my guess. To be sure, ask him.

- Response by agesago, A Cool Mom, Female, 56-65, Transportation

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I have yet to see a FWB become more. Instead of second guessing it, I would ask him, why he is asking these things. Or ask if he is trying to become more of a bf.

- Response by travelchic, A Creative, Female, 29-35, Self-Employed

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Oh my god, another one.

He's enjoying the convenience of having you on demand. If he can get you to do his dishes or scrub the mildew out of the shower, even better for him! And he STILL doesn't have to pony up any emotion or commitment. Yay him!

- Response by bathory313, A Creative, Female, 46-55, Norfolk, Medical / Dental

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Of course it's possible. But it won't happen if you sit around waiting for him to tell you he wants more. Tell him, and let whatever happens, happen.

- Response by amberlynm, A Life of the Party, Female, 46-55, Who Cares?

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FWB equals Female Without Brains. Sex without strings is hardly the way to start a relationship. The man knows you are easy and no man wants an easy woman for something more serious or to be the mother of his future children. Have some respect for yourself and find a man who will commit to you. I wouldn't want a man that had been so easy with sex either. Rosey

- Response by roseytalks, A Thinker, Female, Who Cares?, Tampa, Who Cares?

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