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My boyfriend thinks Im boring!
Dating / 7:21 PM - Saturday April 04, 2009

My boyfriend thinks Im boring!

We are both in college and have been seeing each other for a month now but I feel like he thinks I am boring because I don't really party and smoke weed like he does. I like to party once in a while but he parties or goes to clubs every weekend with the guys. He has a lot of friends and I am sorta by myself. I mean I know a lot of people but I don't really have a group that I hang out with, I guess I'm very independent. I play sports so I get easily tired and dont feel like going out and partying at night so I just say that Im going to stay in. Sometimes he will be scarcastic and say "I dont want to distract you from your busy schedule." Like last night, he called me at midnight when I was sleeping and asked me if I wanted to come off campus and party with him. Neither of us has a car so it would have taken me an hour to get there by bus so I didnt go. What should I do? Im afraid he thinks of me as like an old lady or something and I don't want to lose him.

- Asked by Female, 26-28

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zzZZzzzZZZZZ o0 o0 wha what ???

- Response by j3s5e, A Rebel, Male, 29-35, Who Cares?

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Community Rating: Community Star

I would break it off and find someone you are more compatible with.

- Response by flowerbeach4, A Thinker, Female, 26-28, Miami, Student

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You're okay. Explain it to him. If he doesn't understand, that's his problem, not yours. Please don't change to please anyone. A wild partier, you're not. You and your b/f can do lots of other things that you both enjoy. How would he feel if you really liked the ballet and pestered him everytime he did't go with you. Same thing, really.

- Response by 2funny, A Cool Mom, Female, 46-55, Financial / Banking

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i don't think you two should be together you should fined some one more like you honestly. you dont sound happy. and its only been a month.

- Response by j3s5e, A Rebel, Male, 29-35, Who Cares?

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You two are very young, you can't be expected to have the same lifestyles. It may be best if you guys split up and find other people to be with who are have similar tastes. Neither of you are wrong, just different.

- Response by lacey07, A Life of the Party, Female, Who Cares?, Other Profession

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Dear Friend,
You are NOT boring!
he is trying to get you to do drugs and will stop at nothing to get you as the same slugish brain he has, (sorry).
I don't party either, the reason is, if I can't find a way to have a good time with out doing drugs and drinking then there is a real problem.

people that do drugs want to get the others to do it too so they don't look foolish.
I hope you stand your ground and don't fall for his B.S.
stand proud and say, I don't like the way it makes me feel or what ever you need to say.
when you go out any where but especially at a party, don't take any drink you don't open yourself.
some people put drugs in them and you would never know.
you really don't know someone well even at 6 months some times it can takes years to get to know a person.
don't ever do any thing you don't want to do, and Good luck.

- Response by A Trendsetter, Female, 46-55, Who Cares?

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Well you have a few choices here that don't even have to be mutually exclusive. You could make an effort to get out slightly more than you have been, but don't go far beyond your limits. I understand your exhaustion from sports because I'm an athlete as well. So sometimes, when you are just too exhausted to go out, maybe invite your boyfriend over for a nice night in and think of some fun things to do together. Show him that you can be fun without drinking and smoking weed with him. In fact, when you do go out a little more, just stay sober and have a good time anyway. If he's pressuring you to do this stuff with him and you really don't want to, then perhaps he's not a good match for you. good luck.

- Response by sccrtomboy4evr, An Alternative Girl, Female, 22-25, Pittsburgh, Student

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You sound like a great girl so far based on what you've written in your post. I wish I could find a girl more like you. So as far as I can see, if you two did break up over this, you wouldn't be the one in the losing seat - he would.

To be completely honest, I think you can do better than him. There's 2 (okay, there's about756893475, but let's pretend there's only 2) types of people in the world: those who live for quality, and those who live for quantity. Really, most people will have some grey area in between either extreme, but I get the impression that you're far more about quality than quantity, while I get the impression that he thinks quality IS quantity.

You say he has lots of friends. People with lots of friends usually don't have many good friends because the time they can apply to each other is divided. And if they spend that time under the influence of drugs, then the legitimate quality of whatever time they do spend together is probably going to go downhill, as well.

You say you know plenty of people but don't have lots of friends. Don't go partying much, aren't into weed... This all tells me that you probably aren't overly interested in specific people unless there is quality to your relationship with them. So I can see why you don't want the relationship with him to end, because he's your boyfriend, so you probably see it as a relationship with a special quality to it. But what I'm seeing is a distinct lack of quality in the actual relationship; rather, the quality is in your ideal of how important the relationship should be.

Really, I get the impression that you are two very different people with very different values regarding life. He seems to value a self-destructive lifestyle, while you seem to value a self-constructive lifestyle. I don't think it's a good match, and I think it would be an absolute waste if you gave up your health or study to hang out with people you don't particularly like and get drunk/stoned.

Usually I give advice in favour of saving a relationship, but he does not appear to want to do the right thing by you, and if the relationship were to fail later on, I think you'd very quickly regret the changes in your lifestyle that you seem to be contemplating in favour of him.

Sorry for the brutal honesty, but I really do feel I need to call it as I see it on this one.

- Response by ryanthegreatarj, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 26-28, Student

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oh... hun, I feel so bad for you. I really do. It's not your fault and I know that you don't want to lose him. You could probably talk to him about it but I really don't think he's going to change his partying ways. If you want to put up with his partying just to be with him then that's up to you.

But eventually, I'm sure your relationship with him will go down hill. Either you start being like him or he being more like you. This is just a sad situation and I can almost feel it. (I guess b/c I'm the girl who usually stays at home on the weekends.) I don't party or go clubbing but I used to do that a lot during my freshman year. Maybe you should go out once or twice with him sometimes.

I really hope the best for you.

- Response by dplee21, A Thinker, Female, 26-28, Who Cares?

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