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I'm 46, is it ok to date and have a relationship with younger women? I'm not attracted to older ones
Dating / 1:22 AM - Saturday April 04, 2009

I'm 46, is it ok to date and have a relationship with younger women? I'm not attracted to older ones

I'm "older"(46) and never married or have any kids. I'm what they call a late bloomer, I didn't really break out of my shell(I was always and even now still am a bit introverted) till I was almost 30 and I guess I'm still trying to make up for lost time and youth. I find myself attracted to much younger women than my age. Would it be ok to date and have a relationship with women alot younger than me(say 18-33 years old), since being honest, I'm not attracted at all to women my own age or even to most past 30 something and those usually have baggage as well(kids, ex husbands, etc.)thus I'd be lying to them and myself in trying to make something happen with them. So do you think it's ok to date younger women?

- Asked by deplou122, A Father Figure, Male, 46-55, Miami, Law Enforcement

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I read some of the responses on here and some of them are just plain rude lol. In my opinion if thats who you want then go for it becuase I'm 19 and have dated a 40 year old and not because he was rich (he was upper middle class) and not because I wanted a father figure lol. I was genuinely attracted to him and maybe becuase he didnt look 40 but he was a very kind man who mad happy and I dont regret a minute i spent with him we dated for 3 months before we had sex and I didnt feel pressured by him at all in fact we had only had a brief conversation about sex previously, not that it wasnt on our minds but it wasnt the most important thing. In the end we broke up but not because of age difference but because I was going away to school and didnt want to do the long distance thing. So if you find someone who is truly into you and theyre of legal age I say forget everyone else after all youre 46 and should know you dont need anyone elses approval but your own!

- Response by A Life of the Party, Female, 22-25, Student

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You must be gay I right?

Surely you don't think you're a young woman's catch? If you've struck out all this time, what's up with that? Ahhhh....don't tell me, an older woman would be wise to you....where as a younger woman wouldn't....right?

You're full of it.....

JERK please.....

- Response by richard77, A Creative, Male, Who Cares?

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Community Rating: Community Star

Maybe more like 25-40 years old. 18 is a little bit much. It is perfectly normal for a man to be attracted to younger women. I find some older men hot, 36-60 can be hot but rarely.

- Response by allyirls, A Trendsetter, Female, 29-35, New York, Fashion

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That's fine, although 18 would be too young for you I would say. The best formula I heard is to halve your age, then add 7, that is the minimum age you should go for. So in your case, it would be 24 plus 7, which equals 31 as the minimum (of course there are always exceptions. Please keep in mind though, that many women are normally attracted to men of around their own age, so a woman in her early 30's would be looking for a man, also in his 30's. I know personally, I couldn't date a man older than about 38 (maximum). I'm just not attracted to older men. But if you find a woman you like, who likes you, then go for it.

- Response by sunset77, A Sweet Sarah, Female, 36-45, Who Cares?

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of course, the whole purpose is for the experience - don't quantify it too much ( make sure they are leagal!!) but see who you are compatible with. If I were a guy don't think I would want to date some of the women I know either - they seem so inflexible emotionally, and not understanding. go for what floats your boat - I wish you well

- Response by ruffian, A Sportif, Female, 36-45

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To be perfectly open and honest with you, you should date whomever you want to date and not worry about what others the saying goes, "Age is just a number" so why worry about the age of women you are attracted to, if you enjoy it, then do it...:D

- Response by fastball, A Cool Mom, Female, 36-45, Edmonton, Self-Employed

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It's legal and some girls may like you.

Just don't be too pushy, and consider that the younger girls may not be able to voice their discomfort and can easily be manipulated into complying to situations they may not be 100% comfortable with, so keep that in mind and keep the pace slow.

Also, how much are you really going to have in common with a 19 year old?

I remember being 18 and having 46 year old men flirt with me, it honestly made me extremely uncomfortable and creeped out to have a man old enough to be my dad flirting with me. A couple of my classmates got involved though, both saying after the fact that they felt pressured and the experience made them uncomfortable. For this reason, I would suggest at least trying for older, more mature, girls of at least 25 or so, women of this age have learned to fend for themselves, thus the creep factor is gone.

I'm 31 and honestly 46 is physically far too old for me. Sorry, it's just too old for me to be attracted to you. Some 31 year olds feel differently though. Don't be shocked if most of the younger women shoot you down and reject you, but if you do get a girl to accept you then I see nothing wrong with it, as long as you consider your position of power and do not take advantage of it.

- Response by milla, A Thinker, Female, 36-45

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that is soo normal now older en are more into younger women now.. my bf is 29 and i am only 19 i think its sexy!!!! :) good luck hun

- Response by arabrose12356, A Trendsetter, Female, 22-25, Cleveland

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hell go for it my bf is 15 years older then me and i love every minute of our relationship our age difference jus means we can teach each other things bout life in general and plus you can have alot of fun wit a younger women...but i personally think 18 is too young more like 20-21 is the youngest u should go...

- Response by eveill66, A Thinker, Female, 26-28, New York

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of course, especially if you are immature! - just kidding, (I am that's why I can say that) you should go out with who ever makes you happy, and do not think twice. who cares what anyone else thinks, it's what you want that counts in life.

- Response by ruffian, A Sportif, Female, 36-45

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honestly theirs nothing wrong with that unless your some petifile lol jk but anyways yea theirs really nothing wrong with that i kinda perferr older guys cuz its a fact that younger guys dont know how to handle an acctual relationship well at east the guys ive been with!

- Response by firegirl9211, A Player, Female, 26-28

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I think some of these answers are jaded and/ or biased. I like older men, always have. I am only 20 and know that a majority of my friends feel the same way about older men as I.
I think it all depends on ones maturity and open-mindedness.

- Response by retrokatie, A Thinker, Female, 26-28, Student

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No offence dude but my father is 23 years older than me.
I would definetely not pick you to date if I were 20.
18 is way too young.
You need to realise that your mind hasn't obviously grown together with your body.
What you think and what you like does not matter much. The fact is that you are 46 years old and you can't escape your age.

It's easier to go for younger women cause they usually haven't experienced life much and are fooled more easily.

But I'm sure that if you're going to date a 20 years old, she will never ask you to join her and her friends because you'd be too old for that corwd. You better come to terms with this.

- Response by marycherry, A Creative, Female, 36-45, Fitness

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yeah like someone said.. men like you creep us out. An 18 y/o? that is disgusting. You're effn 46!! you're old enough to be her father. yuk.
men like you haven't grown up yet and not prepared to be with a real woman.

- Response by girlpower08, A Sportif, Female, 36-45

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Depends on how young.

And FYI you don't know what your missing ;) No offense to the younger gals, but we older women rock!!!

- Response by 1sassychic, A Married Girl, Female, 46-55, Student

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Sure, date whomever is interested in going out with you. I'd keep it to 21+ tho.... that way at least they're legal everywhere. I too like younger BC they arent so jaded from lifes burns and usually are more fun wanting to do outdoor things. I shoot for 30+ BC 20+'s just have wierd ideas and are still finding themselves.

- Response by singledad281, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 46-55, Houston, Hospitality

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yeah do your thing..... 18 is a bit young..... but the over 27 to 35 crowd can be fun................use it while you got it

- Response by boxer1, A Guy Critical, Male, 46-55, Self-Employed

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i'm thinking 18 is its just my opinion.
i think 25-41 should be more of your age group but who am i to tell you were to find true love.
i'm 21 going 22 and the oldest guy i would date would be 5 years older than i am. but so far my oldest bf was 3yrs older than me. right now all the guys i've been fallin for are exectly 5yrs older,i just noticed...
theirs just something about a guy that nows what he

- Response by musical85, A Career Woman, Female, 29-35, Student

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I don't think you are going to have to worry about women my age being attracted to you.
Yep, you'll have much more luck with the teeny-bops.

- Response by gettingstronger, A Cool Mom, Female, 46-55, Teaching

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Hi, I'm in the same boat as you are but for the life of me, I'd be happy enough to date women my age but they do not make themselves available to me. I just stopped living with a woman who was 14 years my junior. She's lovely too and I know people always wonder why in the world she's with me. Actually we've met the past few days and there's a good chance we'll be together again. Still, I recently saw a 42 year old who asked me if I was a lot younger than she was. In fact, I think she looks younger.

- Response by An Intellectual Guy, Male, Who Cares?, Who Cares?

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In your case?


You're not mature enough emotionally to handle a woman your own age, so you thin a younger woman would fall for your BS better.

Just leave the poor girls alone and wait till you grow up!

- Response by mistresswench69, A Player, Female, 26-28, Who Cares?

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I have never yet met (and in several cases, dated as the much younger woman) a man who was only attracted to much younger women -- who couldn't even be with a woman his own bloody age -- who was not also seriously messed up. Invariably, such men are either delusional about themselves -- sparked by a pathological dread of getting older -- and/or they had severe unresolved power issues and "needed" to be older than any woman, because "older" means "smarter" and "more powerful."

Is it OK for a severely screwed up man to inflict his society on a much younger woman? No. In fact, it's not OK for him to inflict his society on anyone. I suggest you work on coming to terms with your fear, loathing and deep-seated insecurities before you try to hook up with even a dog.

- Response by pandorasfault, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Teaching

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if hes handsome why not ;)

- Response by r0r02009, A Player, Female, 29-35

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..good luck..I don't know that many 18-year olds that say.."Oh Gosh".."I wish I could go out w/a middle-aged guy"..if she dates u..beware..she's either not mentally stable or needs u to pay for her school..:)

- Response by michellekia, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, St.Louis, Financial / Banking

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Well looking at your profile pics I think that maybe you are looking for someone who is out of your league which has probably led to a life of singledom. Sorry but I think you look too old for an 18-21 yr old girl to even find you attractive. Unless you have deep pockets then I don't see it happening. Also remember most young women have baggage too! Actually more and more young women have children, that along with some estranged "baby daddy" hiding out. Talk about drama.

I think dating younger or older is all about preference just be realistic when it comes to the women you choose.

- Response by kdtxchic30, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Who Cares?

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There's more to consider to dating a younger woman than her age. You might be near the same age as her parents. And ask yourself, why would a young woman want an older guy? You, yourself have baggage. The fact that you have been introverted, may mean that you haven't lived much. But say that you meet this kind of girl, you're 46 now. In 20 years, you're going to be drawing social security. Do you really think a woman in her prime will want to spend her life with a senior citizen?

- Response by rhunt0210, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 46-55, Other Profession

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Ok i wouldn't say it is ok to date 18-33 i think a better bracket would be 27-35 i am 32 and damn i still look young and beautiful but there is nothing wrong with women in any age group it is all how you handle yourself but to be honest this is a better age bracket for you but good luck in your life. take care.

- Response by redd98, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Medical / Dental

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i would have to say that you are probably missing out on a lot to exclude women over 33. I understand why you are attracted to younger women but EVERYONE has baggage of some sort and most women between 18-25 have the baggage of not knowing who they are or what they want out of life, not to mention not having grown into the mature woman you will eventually want. Don't get me wrong, plenty of women under 33 are very self confident and they know exactly what they want BUT they don't have life's experiences yet. If you want a girl who's a good time and just want to have sex with her and you want a nice tight body, then young is exactly what you want just don't discount the older ones...

- Response by joent612, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Tampa, Administrative

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Honestly?......I think it's kinda creepy.

I've got three younger sisters, each one of them at one or another has had to deal with creepy older guys stalking them.....and each one of them dates only guys within a couple years of them as a result of it.

- Response by A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, Who Cares?, Oostende, Self-Employed

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I think it is OKAy to date younger women...but anything in the 20's IMHO (in my humble opinion) is too young for you....sorry.

I have a personal age no-no.
If I was single...I wouldn't date anyone more than 10 years older than me...or more than 5 years younger than me...just my personal rule. good luck!

- Response by divatoonami, A Trendsetter, Female, 36-45, Administrative

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And besides, an older woman will probably not find you interesting either because it doesn't sound like you had much experience in life and at your age we'd expect some wisdom... ;-)

- Response by marycherry, A Creative, Female, 36-45, Fitness

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I think you're missing out on some incredible women by limiting yourself.

But hey, if you can manage to find someone who doesn't realize how shallow you are, more power to you.

- Response by realwildchild, An Alternative Girl, Female, 36-45, Toronto, Internet / New Media

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I'm 42.. At this point in my life, my 'range' is 10 younger, 5 older. That's not set in stone.. and depending on the woman, I *may* stretch that to 15 younger. Though, I find it unlikely that would happen.

The reality is, while people like to say 'age doesn't matter'.. that's bullshit. While it's not an absolute, the reality is, that age & experience tend to go hand in hand.

You are a GROWN MAN! And a grown man should be dating women that are his equal in maturity and life experience.

Seriously man.. what POSSIBLE commonalities could you share with a GIRL who's only 18-21 years old?? NONE! Girls from 18-25 or so.. would meet ONE goal for you.


That's it. Nothing more.

And do you have ANY idea how much drama girls under 30 are?
If you did.. you'd never, ever, consider trying to date one.

You're a grown man. You should be dating grown women.

- Response by steve67, A Rebel, Male, Who Cares?

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you might be in reverse now..going through midlife crisis...that's why you need 18 yo girls..ego boost..
why the hell would you need 18 yo..they are immature and inexperience...and usually will not go for a dude your age.

- Response by lafamme, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Philadelphia, Celebrity

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I can't believe how unkind and insensitive some of the people are here. TRUE love knows NO age differences, especially when carnal desires are secondary in importance. Society tries to make others conform to its view of what is proper while ignoring that the love shared between two consenting adults is NONE of anyone elses business. For those busybodies out there who feel they must inform others of the error of their ways please do me a favor and go and find another pulpit to spew your narrow-minded, judgemental drivel!

- Response by louiscypher, A Guy Critical, Male, 46-55, Toronto

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