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Apologizing is sign of weakness
Dating / 2:08 PM - Sunday March 29, 2009

apologizing is sign of weakness

I firmly believe apologizing is a sign of weakness for men. In a relationship men have to stand their ground even when there wrong. Men who are wrong should move on and not talk about the past.

If a man apologizes he is giving in to the woman and she wins...but if a woman makes a mistake I think she SHOULD apologize because women are the more delicate sex.

Update: March 30, 2009.
I stand by what I said. Would you pathetic women rather us men apologize and not mean it? "Lie to me. I promise I'll believe" - Sheryl Crow I think it's rather pathetic that most women just want to hear their man apologize even when they know in their hearts that he doesn't mean it.

- Asked by A Rebel, Male, 29-35, Houston, Technical

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I think its the opposite. I think apologizing is a sign of strength. It takes a pretty strong person to admit that they are wrong or have made a mistake.

- Response by attenuation, A Thinker, Female, 22-25, Cincinnati, Financial / Banking

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....you're kind of a sexist pig.

IJS

- Response by lxsweetheart, A Hippie Chick, Female, 22-25, Student

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Community Rating: Community Star

thank you for that wonderful insight.

i would apologize in a relationship, especially because i am so delicate, but i don't make mistakes

- Response by jasmine27, A Thinker, Female, 26-28, Other Profession

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Idiot.

- Response by justpassingthru, A Thinker, Female, 56-65, Financial / Banking

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Is that an original thought? Or did you just steal it from the movie?

--
"Never apologize, it's a sign of weakness."
- Spoken by the John Wayne character, Captain Nathan Brittles, in John Ford's "She Wore a Yellow Ribbon.
--

Real Men admit their mistakes and apologize when they're wrong.

If you don't want to apologize? Don't be wrong.

- Response by steve67, A Rebel, Male, Who Cares?

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..you will either be alone forever..or...will only find low-quality..low self-esteem women..

- Response by michellekia, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, St.Louis, Other Profession

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Your ignorance astounds me.
Try that philosophy here in Ireland, see hoe far you get.

- Response by xxhomophobiaxisxgayxx, An Alternative Girl, Female, 22-25, Dublin, Student

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Wow...you must be really tough, and really lonely.

- Response by kim2chee, A Sweet Sarah, Female, 36-45, Other Profession

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and maybe this is why you're still single.....

- Response by lmarks, A Life of the Party, Male, 29-35, Los Angeles, Who Cares?

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Well, I think you got your answer, based on all the people who responded to this.

No one will have any successful relationships if they aren't strong enough to admit when they're wrong or apologize.

A coward is someone who is too proud to do this.

- Response by jenjenmcmorris, A Married Girl, Female, 26-28, Home Maker

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Regarding your update:

Idiot.


- Response by justpassingthru, A Thinker, Female, 56-65, Financial / Banking

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In your 26-28 years of life....

I'm gonna take a guess and say you've had ONE girlfriend

You know nothing about weakness, apologising or the role of a man/woman in a relationship

Pick up a book SON

- Response by mantis, A Creative, Male, 18-21

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I'm surprised you're taken. An apology, when wrong, shows you're a man.

- Response by cubbiegal, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Chicago, Administrative

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Your firm belief is firmly mistaken. A relationship is NOT a battlefield. There are no winners or losers. If you apologize you do not lose, you humble yourself and show that you respect her feelings!
In other words, if you apologize, YOU WIN because you are showing that you are a big enough man to admit when you are wrong.

Only a child refuses to apologize. If you continue to live like this, you will make the women in your life feel they are beneath you and don't deserve respect. I don't know about your gf, but if I were with a man who treated our relationship like a battlefield I would leave ASAP.

In a relationship the strong and stubborn do not survive. The compasionate and humble are the ones to find true love.

- Response by kagurahime, A Thinker, Female, 26-28, Student

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Have you Lost your Mind!!! Apologizing is a show of Respect and Respondiblity! And it takes a Strong Mature Adult to admit and be respondable! I myself wouldnt think much of anyone that would prefer to be wrong, not like the other person doesnt know you are wrong. But, they will know your mature enough to be respondable for whatever you do, whoever it is.

- Response by A Hip Hop Girl, Female, 46-55, Who Cares?

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My friend,,,You are gonna be a lonely fellow!!!!There is nothing weak about saying I'm sorry ,whether you are wrong or not!!!A marriage is not a war zone where there is a winner and a loser,,,,,It's a partnership,where it takes whatever it takes to be successful!!!Hope you reconsider your views!!!

- Response by randolph, A Mr. Married Guy, Male, 56-65, Artist / Musician / Writer

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BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH AHAHAHA!!!!!

- Response by seductivepisces9, A Thinker, Female, 29-35, Who Cares?

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I think that depends, I dont agree that it's a sign of "weakness" although I can see how it feels that way. thats why it takes a strong person to admit they were wrong.

Personally I will say sorry IF and only if i was proven wrong. if there is no proof or it's something that I believe in i'm not going to apologize for it. Because I always stand up for what I believe.

- Response by aon007, A Guy Critical, Male, 29-35, Salt Lake City, Science / Engineering

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It takes more strength to admit fault, and when you are wrong, then to posture like a moron in order to uphold some sort of facade.

- Response by kman12, A Rebel, Male, 29-35, Teaching

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I firmly believe that one should apologize if they have treated someone wrong (male or female).I think it is the polite thing to do. I myself find it attractive when a man is "big" enough to apologize to someone when they have done something wrong. My hubby rarely admits when he has said something wrong or done something wrong..but..when he does apologize, he gets about anything he wants! ;) I dont think it is a sign of weakness at all!

- Response by shelly1979, A Cool Mom, Female, 29-35, Other Profession

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When I'm right, I don't apologize. When I'm wrong, I don't apologize. That's my logic. I do see it as a sign of weakness, though, but gender has nothing to do with it.

- Response by anonymouspersona, A Hippie Chick, Female, 26-28, Miami, Student

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For what? If my bf is yelling at me for spending too much on co-workers (birthdays, etc), he comes and says' I'm sorry love. I just get scared that we're just making it as it is and we have to pay rent, go grocery shopping, pay our bills, and you give too much and get nothing. People should like you for who you are, not what you can buy. Our relationship works well because of his apologies. :)

- Response by 08151979ar, A Career Woman, Female, 29-35

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Women can be just as stubborn, if not more so, than men. Both should apologize. I hate to do it, but I will, and I expect the same back. If my boyfriend doesn't apologize I don't get hurt, but I get really really pissed off and 'hold out' on things they want (if you catch my drift). It's not giving in. I'd expect the same treatment if it were the other way around.

- Response by Canadian_Molson_Girl, A Trendsetter, Female, 26-28, Toronto, Fashion

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Dude, if you are wrong and know it an apology is appropriate. If you know you aren't wrong then you certainly shouldn't apologize. Being man enough to admit you've made a mistake (someone EVERYONE does) you are far better than the vast majority. By the way, you can apologize and still not "give in." Think about it.

- Response by An Intellectual Guy, Male, 36-45, Los Angeles, Other Profession

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I disagree. I believe that being able to apologize, to anybody, is a sign of confidence. You are showing that you are confident enough in your manhood to admit when you were wrong. Shows humility as well. A guy that cannot or will not apologize to his s/o is a sign of weakness. Being able to admit your faults and apologize is a sign of strength and shows here that you are willing ot admit your mistakes and move on. If the woman in the relationship is wrong or has done something that requires an apology, then she should apologize, yes. But the same general priciple goes for the men in a relationship.

- Response by ferree, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 36-45, Dallas, Other Profession

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I have always thought that anyone who apologized for 'wrong' doing is actually a pretty strong person and someone who holds a high regard for themselves or others because it's easier to continue to 'pretend' you're right and make a fool of yourself than it is to admit you've made a mistake and apologize for it...believe me, I would apologize anyday but the fact is that I hold others in a high regard and believe that they will treat me only as I treat them...:D

- Response by fastball, A Cool Mom, Female, 36-45, Edmonton, Self-Employed

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it takes more strength to admit your wrong and to apologize...


- Response by l1ttlem1sssunsh1ne, An Alternative Girl, Female, 26-28

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I'm holding on your rope,
Got me ten feet off the ground
I'm hearin what you say but I just can't make a sound
You tell me that you need me
Then you go and cut me down, but wait
You tell me that you're sorry
Didn't think I'd turn around, and say...

It's too late to apologize, it's too late
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late

I'd take another chance, take a fall
Take a shot for you
And I need you like a heart needs a beat
But it's nothin new
I loved you with a fire red-
Now it's turning blue, and you say...
"Sorry" like the angel heaven let me think was you
But I'm afraid...

It's too late to apologize, it's too late
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late

Bridge (guitar/piano)

It's too late to apologize, it's too late
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late
It's too late to apologize, yeah
I said it's too late to apologize, yeah-
I'm holdin on your rope, got me ten feet off the ground...

- Response by freedom4smithangel, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 36-45

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No one is always right- It takes a strength of character and a security within yourself, a confidence and humility to verbalize you are not perfect. You- are human, like everyone else. You have faults, will make errors in judgments, jump to incorrect conclusions, misunderstand ideas and concepts, and just be flat out wrong sometimes. Not only that- but often there isn't a wrong and a right- but two ways of looking or doing things- and agre to disagree.
Don't make the mistake to come across arrogant, condescending and unwilling to compromise- (Your way only or the highway) toward your s/o. It gets old quickly- and she can't put up with it for long.... Her self esteem will suffer until she breaks and you won't like the quivering person she turns into- confidence is sexy- she won't be much longer.

- Response by momharleyxl, A Cool Mom, Female, 46-55, Los Angeles, Self-Employed

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A real man has no problems in admitting he's wrong and apologising for it.
A man that dose not apologise shows he's weak and insecure and can't handle relationships.

- Response by marycherry, A Creative, Female, 36-45, Fitness

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if you think you can always be STRONG you are Kidding yourself !!
it take ALL sides and ALL colors to Live a balanced Life !
there is "no Winning" that is ego !!

- Response by tpass419, A Creative, Male, 46-55, Alternative Medicine

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you are still young and single so when you grow up and get married you will change your mind

- Response by A Mr. Married Guy, Male, 36-45, Cape Town, Political / Government

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Apparently you see a relationship as a "zero sum" game ... a single bounded whole over which both parties "fight" to achieve dominance.

If you saw relationships, and even marriage, as a largely unbounded, synergistic undertaking, in which one and one equals more for both, you would think - and behave - differently.


Saying "I'm sorry" for hurting her feelings does not "cost" a man anything. Refusing to say it, can cost him dearly, as I'm sure you've experienced.

If you refuse to acknowledge your own mistakes, let alone make any amends, then you are doomed to live your emotional life at a perpetual jr. high emotional level, with juvenile relationships and poor relationship prospects.

And if you knew better, you would also be able to avoid such punishing women as you describe, who view a relationship as a place where she can "win" over a man. sad.


pitiable.


- Response by cd92835, A Career Man, Male, 46-55

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Can you tell us which drug do you use ... Its really interesting how confident it makes you!!!!! Many people might want to use it time to time :)))

- Response by faceful, A Sweet Sarah, Female, 29-35, Rome, Who Cares?

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I think you've lost your damn mind baby because I know if you were my man Id get you to apologize, you see women are much stronger than men, we hold that power in between our legs

- Response by cutiebooty503, A Trendsetter, Female, 26-28, Portland, Who Cares?

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I think either sex, if they are wrong and know it, should apologize. It shows a sign of strength and commitment to the relationship. I'm actually surprised you are in a relationship with this kind of thought process going on.

- Response by A Cool Mom, Female, 36-45, Administrative

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Well, apologizing is really easy. You just have to get used to it. Just like saying the L-word. After a while some people just start going sorry this, sorry that for every little detail. So it's not a sign of anything really :P

IF I'm wrong, I apologize. However only if it hurt somebody I actually care about. And provided someone can logically prove how I was wrong (so the argument: you hurt someone, you gotta be wrong doesn't fly with me). Unless I get proof that I was wrong, I do not apologize. Right until proven wrong. As simple as that.

I used to apologize when my ex started crying. I believed all that "apologizing is a sign of strength" bullshit. She started (perhaps not fully consciously) abusing that. So obviously it makes you much weaker if you apologize for just about anything.

It's like medicine, the right does is OK, over/underdoing it is not.

- Response by windlord, A Guy Critical, Male, 26-28, Who Cares?

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Damn! your a ASSsssssss. Your a Poor excuse for a MAN!

- Response by A Cool Mom, Female, 36-45, Atlanta, Who Cares?

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It's not a sign of weakness to apolize for either sex. It shows that your mature enough to realize you made a mistake and are taking responsibility for it. You sound very immature with a attitude like this. Men are no better than women.

- Response by mysticdream44, A Sweet Sarah, Female, 56-65, Who Cares?

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A REAL MAN would apologize if he were wrong. A REAL MAN takes responsibility for his actions. A REAL MAN is not you. I hope you learn to be A REAL MAN.

- Response by voodoo68, A Hippie Chick, Female, 46-55, Medical / Dental

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Refusing to apologize is not a sign of strength but weakness. After all, one who refuses to say they're sorry acts out of fear, but one who admits they were wrong and asks for forgiveness acts out of courage.


- Response by kdtxchic30, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Who Cares?

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Not apologizing is a way to be single forever, it would never work in a relationship. It definitely is a way to be selfish. When it comes to guys apologizing you do just the opposite. You apologize regardless of whether you are wrong or not. Don't let pride come in the way of making peace. If she is upset with you, or sad, or whatever, just apologize and keep it moving. It makes her feel better, it does not prolong a bad situation and it shows that you can be humble and take her feelings into consideration. It also has the added benefit of keeping her happy so that when it is time for you to do something or if and when you do make a mistake, it is not so big of a deal. Not that it is easy, but in the long run it works out much better.

- Response by sohodutch, A Guy Critical, Male, 36-45, New York, Technical

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Very interesting viewpoint. I am refraining from answering specifically for obvious reasons.

- Response by dreamdancer, A Creative, Female, 36-45, Houston, Other Profession

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I Have 2 disagree with you right here, apologizing does not make you weak. it makes you strong men r womrn because if you can step up and said you did something wrong and apologize about it than that is a good thing. i'm not saying that a women has to alway be right i agree with you there we all mess up but it's the strong ones who can step up and say, "I'm sorry" or "i Apologize"

- Response by ladyromeo34, A Thinker, Female, 26-28, Los Angeles, Teaching

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Apologizing is not about winning or giving in. It's about respect and common courtesy. It is the right thing to do if you were wrong. And "being the biger person" has nothing to do with gender. It takes a much stronger person to be able to apologize then it does to just pretend it ever happened. A person who constantly screws up and never apologizes will quickly lose my respect and most likely I will not want to be in a relationship with that person.

- Response by silver75, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Stockholm, Other Profession

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a man apologizing for me is the real man.they know how to admit their fault

- Response by An Engaged Girl, Female, 36-45, Winnipeg, Administrative

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Absolutely incorrect...that is not true. If your planning to commit your own mistakes you are also ready for the consequences of your action. It means that one of that action would be admitting how sorry you are. It doesn't matter if your a boy or a girl, as long as you indulge yourselves into something that is not right you are required to admit, submit and commit. Admit- accepting your faults to that situation, Submit-saying to someone how sorry you are for the mistakes that you've done, Commit-building that relationship again so that you can still rescue it and be happy about it. I understand that it is not easy to say sorry however saying sorry could actually rebuild the gap that you created one more time into something more special and easy to deal with. This is the starting point of maturity. Your seeing not just the picture frame hanging on your wall but your judging the largest picture outside the wall. Eventhough we as woman in nature we are always the one who humbly say sorry all the time, it doesn't mean that we are created for that. Let us just accept the fact that we have an early maturity compare from men.
Im hoping this will help you..."It is not a sign of weakness saying how sorry you are but it is a sign of being mature and willing to accept bigger responsibility.



- Response by anne0425, A Thinker, Female, 26-28, Consulting

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You are correct, don't listen to the people in here who want to feminize you. Be a man, that is what women like. The wimps in here want you to crawl, don't do it.

- Response by hearmenow, A Guy Critical, Male, 56-65, Other Profession

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lmao.
you've really dug yourself a hole here bud :P

- Response by luluxx18, A Creative, Female, 22-25, Toronto, Student

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thanks for the laugh dude. but you know, theres a difference between being stubborn and being "strong". this isnt a battlefield, a couple have to work together, not compete. though i admit, sometimes competeing makes the relationship fun. but for apologizing, its not a weakness. depending on what your apologizing for, thats what makes the difference. "weak" men who apologize probably have more respect from others than you do. and fear doesnt count as respect. "storng" men that dont apologize have only people that fear them, not that respect them. get your thoughts straight and reconsider your believes. i admit, im using this as an underage, but i atleast know more than you do. if you think your "strong" because you never say sorry, then your just an idiot lieing to yourself, and not only that, your weak.

- Response by A Guy Critical, Male, 22-25, Los Angeles, Consulting

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That's the best answer to the question "what can I say that will I make sure that women will never let me bang them ever again".

Apologizing is a sign of humility and if it is sincere, of the ability to do something for someone besides yourself. Ask yourself a question with a one word answer:

If you had to make a choice, would you rather be happy or right?

- Response by muffd1v3r, A Creative, Male, 36-45, Technical

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Real men apologize. Strong men apologize. What are you?

- Response by girlkaren, A Thinker, Female, 22-25, Denver, Student

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why is it so impossible for a man to truly be sorry for something? are you saying men are incapable of honestly apologizing? if a guy doesnt really mean it then no i wouldn't wanna here his apology but i doubt every time a man DOES apologize it is empty of truth.

- Response by callmeb3, An Alternative Girl, Female, 22-25

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i see someone is going to die alone...

- Response by misskitty420, A Cool Mom, Female, 29-35, Student

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Anyone who is wrong should apologize man or woman. It's indicative of strength. A courageous strong person owns up to their mistakes and is strong enough not to allow themselves to be taken advantage of just because they've apologized. And anyone who tries to gain the upper hand from anothers apology isn't worth having in your life. So, give that person the boot.

- Response by 1313love, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Other Profession

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Dude you're giving men all over the world a bad REP, you must be winding up everyone? I can't believe you actually mean this. If you are then you need psychiatric help! Double standards lead to contradictions and being a major hypocrite. No one is perfect not even you, so I'll apologize on your behalf to all the women around the world who you have insulted by saying the above. "Sorry Girls this guy forgot to he's manners".

- Response by jonnytobassco, A Guy Critical, Male, 36-45, Dublin, Student

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Dude you're giving men all over the world a bad REP, you must be winding up everyone? I can't believe you actually mean this. If you are then you need psychiatric help! Double standards lead to contradictions and being a major hypocrite. No one is perfect not even you, so I'll apologize on your behalf to all the women around the world who you have insulted by saying the above. "Sorry Girls this guy forgot to he's manners".

- Response by jonnytobassco, A Guy Critical, Male, 36-45, Dublin, Student

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"A man must be BIG enough to admit his mistakes, SMART enough to profit from them, and STRONG enough to correct them."....

- Response by migui, A Guy Critical, Male, 29-35, Science / Engineering

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An apology won't make the original mistake magically vanish forever. It might make the other person feel better for a few minutes, but the thing you're apologizing for can never be undone. You can SAY I'm sorry, but it really doesn't have much meaning. If you are in a long term relationship, I can guarantee it will come back to haunt you. I was married for 25 years and I found myself saying things like "I apologized for that five (or pick a number) years ago!".

What can you say? "I made a mistake." "I'll try to be more aware of my actions in the future." "I'm trying to do the best I can".

You can own up to a mistake, but apologizing for it does nothing.

- Response by daviar, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 56-65

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I can't tell if you're joking or just stupid.

- Response by thomasd, A Player, Male, 29-35, Boston, Technical

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I disagree. Anyone can move on after they lie but it takes real strength to apologize for one's mistakes. A real man steps forward and admits his lies, a coward lives in lies.

- Response by desota18, A Creative, Male, 22-25, Self-Employed

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i think anyone who has to play-act at being a man should really avoid questioning the character of others. or dont, hell i dont care, its your drama baby, it aint gotta be mine.


(NOTE: i would like to apologize to any answerologists who were offended by my blatant abuse of this dimwit, but i wont because im right in this case. my response wasnt intended to offend most of you, but, if my remark did cause you any discomfort what i wrote should give you an indication that i consider thats your issue not mine. you deal with it.)

- Response by maleficpresence, A Guy Critical, Male, 46-55, Chicago, Technical

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Drama Queen/Rebel....I know you really dont feel this way cuz then you would be a piggie...

- Response by brezzyblue, A Life of the Party, Female, 46-55, Other Profession

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no its not
the lack of an appolgy when its truly needed is a sign of arrogance
there are alot of arrogant people today
what they need is a puch in the face
what the should have recieved when developing their manners

- Response by vank356, A Guy Critical, Male, 56-65, Technical

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That's a ridiculous statement.

You apologize when you're wrong.... nothing weak about admitting your faults.



- Response by king313, An Engaged Guy, Male, 29-35, Detroit, Who Cares?

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If you are wring tiy apologize. It is not a gender thing and never has been. I hope the next woman you get involved with it told how you feel up front...You will have a VERY difficult time finding a female to stick arount. How sexest can you be????????

- Response by barbb, An Alternative Girl, Female, Who Cares?, Other Profession

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God, i read this and think YOUR week. i think it takes confidence for a man to apologise. when either man or woman is liably wrong its their resposibility to realize it and step up if they want to keep the relationship. please realize you will never find the girl for you if you keep underminding the manlyness of being able to put yourself out there.

- Response by A Thinker, Female, 26-28, Boston

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if you think apoloizing is a sign of weakness then you're retarded. I don't apologize either.

- Response by dominicanbred, A Creative, Male, 29-35, Philadelphia, Who Cares?

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If this is what you really believe the n you should also believe that women shouldnt apologize either if you dont that is the definition of sexisum..

- Response by candygirl2178, A Thinker, Female, 22-25

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.......and i believe you're an idiot. recognizing you wronged is one thing, being man enough to say you're sorry just shows you're a decent human being.

*here we go again*

- Response by butterflyz, A Creative, Female, 36-45, Student

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Well now...there's a philosophy that will take you far in life! Good luck!

- Response by mamom04, A Sweet Sarah, Female, 56-65, Phoenix

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From what planet you came? You were supposed to stay there.
Apology is a sign of maturation.

- Response by A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Other Profession

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you're kidding right? you have to be. If not, you should take a trip down to Boston or New York and see how far this attitude gets you.

- Response by mollymommy, A Trendsetter, Female, 36-45, San Francisco, Who Cares?

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You are so very wrong and ignorant with your close minded thoughts.Just my obinion as yours is just your opinion.

- Response by roanna, A Hippie Chick, Female, 56-65, Self-Employed

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only a REAL MAN has the guts to admit he's wrong suck up his damn pride and apologize.

- Response by callmeb3, An Alternative Girl, Female, 22-25

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You have a great sense of humor and a real talent for trolling.

- Response by A Rebel, Male, 46-55, Las Vegas, Celebrity

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yea that makes no sense.

- Response by slugrl12, A Sweet Sarah, Female, 22-25, Student

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