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My boyfriend says he only loves his ex because she's his baby momma, is he still in love with her?
Dating / 2:20 PM - Tuesday March 24, 2009

My boyfriend says he only loves his ex because she's his baby momma, is he still in love with her?

My boyfriend and I have been dating off and on for the past four years. We both have daughters, within a few years apart, and ex's. My ex is and pretty much has always been out of the picture. His ex, on the other hand has not. I know he still loves her. He claims that the love he has for her is only because she is his baby momma. I feel differently. She, the ex, is now married, which should have eased my concerns...Her husband was out of the country for several months. During this time my boyfriend would go to pick up his daughter and go inside, chill for a few minutes, play with her younger children from another guy, stop by for parties she'd have, and on occasion take a to-go plate of food she had cooked. Now that her husband is back in town...everything has changed. It's seldom that he even goes into the house to get his daughter. He even admitted to me that the reason he doesn't do these things anymore is to be respectful to her husband. WOW! So it was okay when her husband didn't know and who cared about the relationship he supposedly had with me. Whenever I try to say ANYTHING about it he gets defensive. He tells me that I think he still wants to be with her, but he doesn't...or is it that she doesn't? He even recently told me that his relationship with her does not concern me. She has cheated on him, she's even slept with a couple of his friends. Yet he still JUMPS when she says to. I have ex's that see me in the same flawless light as he sees her, so I know how it is. It feels great to know someone loves you unconditionally and thinks you're a great person. I didn't cheat on them. I have never cheated on him and I don't believe that he has cheated on me, but it feels like I setting myself up to play second if I stay in this relationship. He has no real talk about the future and I don't know if I'm over analyzing this. I do love him, but I will walk away if he keeps putting me second:(

Update: March 24, 2009.
I have received several answers...Thank you to the people that truly tried to give an honest answer.... Just because a man has a baby by a woman does NOT make him her door rug! When a child is old enough to communite, they should. I have no problem being second to a child, an ex is another story. As far as me being insecure..before you go calling out names, know the story. I am a 30 yr single parent. I have a BA in business, and I own my OWN home. I think the real issue is that a lot of men need to be with NEEDY women. As far as me bring her up...I don't, he does and I engage in the conversation that turns into an argument when I speak my mind. By the way this ex has a 2 year old that NOT by her husband. She met him when she was pregnant and she doesn't call the 2 year old daughter's dad. As a matter of fact my "boyfriend" is so kookoo over this woman that he picks up his daughter, her daughter, and the new husbands daughter everyday from school. AND IT'S JUST TO KISS THE EX'S AZZ!!! oTHERWISE he'd be spending more time with his twelve year old daughter and not just allowing her to say she wants to hang with friends. If it's all about being daddy....

- Asked by Female, 36-45

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