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I need to know why my boyfriend never has time for me anymore and never puts me 1st?
Dating, Sex & Intimacy / 1:22 PM - Tuesday March 24, 2009

I need to know why my boyfriend never has time for me anymore and never puts me 1st?

I am 20 years old and my boyfriend is 28, we have been together for two years. At the beginning of our relationship he always gave me all the time in the world to be with him now every time i ask to spend time with him hes always busy,or at the gym and when we do spend time together we do nothing but stay home. Every time I ask him to go out he says he's to tired and his weekends are for him to relax but when it comes to his friends he always has time. I have no idea on what to do!

- Asked by GlamarousW, A Cool Mom, Female, 26-28, Consulting

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just ask him and then start going out with your friends if he still doesn't make an effort then tell him you will find some other guy who wants to spend time with you

- Response by jtimes1, A Thinker, Female, 29-35

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You are no longer the new "toy" ... He is sure he has you. Challenge the concept. Entertain yourself on the weekends without caring if he comes along or not... He will perk right up. It is a "guy thing"...

- Response by siouxzen, A Career Woman, Female, Who Cares?, Los Angeles, Self-Employed

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give him motivation to be with you. Start planning other events and with other people on weekends and during the week so that he is no longer the focus of your attention. More importantly he sees you are not there waiting for and on him any more.

- Response by hoopsjunkie, A Rebel, Male, 46-55, Indianapolis, Self-Employed

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Maybe its time to find someone that will put you first. ...or maybe you're getting too old for him and he found someone new.

- Response by boggob, A Guy Critical, Male, 29-35, Political / Government

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You guys are starting on the rough relationship patch. Its true what one respondent said about not being the new toy. But at the same time he's just trying to shift focus on his own life as well.

I did the same thing with my ex because I actually realized after the first few years that I had so much focus on her and the relationship that I lost all focus on myself. We split because I shifted so far to the other extreme she thought I didn't like her anymore. He's probably doing the same thing and is now too focused on himself. You'll have to explain to him that you don't expect 100% of his attention like before but that he'll need to find that balance between focusing on you and focusing on himself. Us guys are not good multi-taskers so when we focus on something, we usually lose focus on other things. I'm not sure why that is but its true that you shouldn't expect the relationship to be the same as it once was since you two are evolving into a real relationship where the relationship is somewhat symbiotic. He should see improvement in his life because of you and you should feel improvement because of him. If you both look back and all you see is two people getting worse or just one of you then you need to re-evaluate what is wrong with the balance.

- Response by zslider, A Creative, Male, 29-35, Vancouver, Technical

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You're too young to be put in this situation. Dump the bum!

- Response by stringjammer, A Career Man, Male, 56-65, Chicago, Self-Employed

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