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Help! I can't sleep when someone's beside me in bed.
Dating / 2:01 AM - Sunday March 22, 2009

Help! I can't sleep when someone's beside me in bed.

My boyfriend has started sleeping at my place on weekends we are together. I like him, sex is great, he is a sweet, affectionate manly man. Problem is I can't seem to sleep when someone is beside me in bed. I've been single my whole life and every b/f I've had, same problem. He snored loudly so last night, I even put ear plugs to help with the noise. He was out to dreamland in 3 minutes. I lay there awake till 4 AM, and dozed off only for a few hours. We went to a farmer's market the following day and I was tired. He dropped me home at 3 PM. I had a bite to eat and I dozed off on my sofa from 4 - 8 PM!

What can I do to alleviate this problem?

- Asked by A Sweet Sarah, Female, 36-45, Other Profession

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I totally understand that. I have the same issue. I doze off here and there but I never have a good nights sleep regardless of how tired I am when I sleep with my lady friend. I too have been single for a long time and am used to sleeping alone, I love having her next to me, but I just cant sleep well.
I think this has a lot to do with our space being invaded at out most vunerable time.

- Response by realman2000, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 29-35, Norfolk, Medical / Dental

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Community Rating: Community Star

So don't "sleep" with them. There are people who have two bedrooms for the reasons you describe. I don't sleep very soundly with someone rolling around next to me either. But it isn't as bad as it sounds for you. I have a gf like you...she has made a nice space in another room for her bf....he doesn't care because he also has a nice tv in their and she equipped it with video games. That do all the other stuff the rest of us do...they just retire to different rooms to sleep.

- Response by joybird, A Creative, Female, Who Cares?, Therapist

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when I was single I slept better when I had someone beside that I am married I sleep better alone...go figure lol

- Response by dirtyperv, A Guy Critical, Male, 29-35, St.Louis, Other Profession

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After all the playing around just ask him to please sleep on the couch or the guest room and explain why. He will understand and if he doesnt, no more playing around on the weekends. He will see your point??

- Response by ptawillis, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 56-65, Medical / Dental

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Oh man don't you just hate that? I have been with a man for 9 years and we've slept over probably twice in our entire relationship because of these very reasons. He snores and moves constantly, isn't a snuggler and it's a nightmare. We just don't "sleep" together and it's honestly worked out very well for us. Look at it this way, you'll be well rested and won't have to deal with eachother's morning breath or looks and you'll appreciate eachother more when you don't end up hating him because you're so tired. Sharing the same bed isn't always what it's cracked up to be.

- Response by meandmrjones, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Who Cares?

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Hey Sarah,

I have the same problem... in fact, I have problems sleeping anywhere unusual the first few nights unless I'm very tired. But I ESPECIALLY can't sleep when there is a man in my bed. I've forced b/fs out to the couch or out the door at 2 in the morning after 3 hours of just laying there, because I just HAD to sleep! But don't lose hope. I've always had this problem, but twice I have been able to force myself to get over it. I have lived with two b/fs, and after a sleepless night or two (and once with the help of a sleep aid!) I got used to sleeping in the same bed with them. Maybe this will work for you even if it is only an occasional thing. If you are REALLY set on trying to make this work and you feel like all else has failed, you can still try either making yourself SUPER tired by trying to pull two nights in a row with him or try a safe, over the counter sleep aid (I skipped the sleep aid but combined wearing myself out during the day with a drowsy medication like Benadryl or Tylenol pm. Of course, talk to your doctor about this if you have any safety concerns). Then I just slowly got accustomed to it. To me, it was worth it to laze around in bed on the weekends after a good night of sleep next to my partner. If this is what you really want, don't give up hope! On the other hand, like a few others said, it's not the end of the world if you just can't handle it.


- Response by kaylak333, A Thinker, Female, 29-35

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