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When a guy tells you he feels presured to talk to you everyday.
Dating / 3:32 PM - Wednesday March 18, 2009

when a guy tells you he feels presured to talk to you everyday.

Me and this guy I've been involed with for a while now has been talking everyday, but recently he told me he feels presured to talk to me everyday because I make such a big deal out of it, but we're long distance so I like to talk to him everyday cause it makes me feel closer to him, but he says he'd prefer to talk every so often, and he feels more comfortable talking every now and then. whats up with that?

Update: March 18, 2009.
Thank you so much for your response,it was very helpful and I will take your advice.

- Asked by lovelyonly1, A Hip Hop Girl, Female, 29-35, Philadelphia, Student

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kick his ass to the curb.........
it's not gonna work if BOTH don't put Extra effort into it.

I'm talking to a guy l-d and when/if he says he's feeling smothered, I'll give him all the room he needs......


- Response by nicolegillenwater, A Thinker, Female, 36-45

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Community Rating: Community Star

He feels smothered. Although you're long distance, talking everyday might be too much for him if he has other things going on. Or, maybe you're spending a great deal of time everyday talking, and it become something he doesn't look forward to doing any more. Ease up a little, and ask him to explain himself.

- Response by wudaddy, A Mr. Married Guy, Male, 36-45, Dallas, Law Enforcement

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I'm in the exact same situation. My guy doesn't care about talking everyday but, I do for the same reason as you. It's hard being in an LDR and it makes me feel closer. Have you explained to him why you like to talk to him every day? Also keep in mind most guys are just not into the phone. Explain to him why the phone calls are so important to you and then back off and give him some space. I did this with my guy and, he's gotten a lot better about calling. I've also gotten better about not keeping him on the phone for too long.

- Response by A Hip Hop Girl, Female, 29-35

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You are smothering him and if you don't stop you will drive him away.
Guys don't need to talk every day. Forcing someone to talk when they are too busy or stressed makes things worse.

- Response by jjcabin, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 46-55, Washington, DC, Technical

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I had a guy that I was seeing want to call and talk every night..

I like him and like talking to him but not in routine every

night . I can feel close to a person and not see or hear from

them for a few weeks

I dont mind talking every few days but daily is just to much..I

like to have some free time..

- Response by morningdust, A Creative, Female, 56-65, Self-Employed

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What's up with that is that he's being straight up honest with you. Some men would just avoid you (not call everyday, not answer when you call and just hope you get the "message"... especially since you're long distance). Give him credit for the direct communication about where he stands.

My suggestion... if you want to keep things going with this dude, respect what he's saying and find a compromise. Talk every other day or a few times a week and see how that goes. If he's into you he'll appreciate that you backed off a bit (and might even step up his own game) and if he's not into you it'll fade out.

- Response by surrealoptimism, A Creative, Female, 29-35

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For guys it stops being fun and starts being too routine if we feel like we have to do something. We need our space, we need to want to do it. There are dynamics that make us who we are, the time we spend working, hanging with friends, going to gym, playing video games, watching sports, doing laundry, whatever it all has its place and feel, so when we meet a girl/woman we like, we start to add her to the equation, with start taking time from other things because we "WANT" to talk to her, we enjoy it, it is a change of pace, we feel special. Now when that special starts to turn into we have to do this because she wants us to, it stops being enjoyable. A not so good comparison is: It is like Meat.. (the food) we love meat, we eat it with almost every meal. but we like it mixed in, not just meat all the time everyday even for dessert. Its like maybe Bacon with breakfast, maybe chicken with dinner. Or maybe today we want cereal instead, or a slice of pizza. But if we keep having to have meat, meat, meat, meat, eventually you get sick of it, or it looses its appeal. Remember dating for a guy has to be fun not forced, once it is not fun, we get sick of it real quick.

- Response by sohodutch, A Guy Critical, Male, 36-45, New York, Technical

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Well you could go read the book "He's just not that into you" or you can keep trying to figure it out. Get someone that jumps when you call. Let this one go.

- Response by alicjohns9, A Career Woman, Female, 46-55, Los Angeles, Financial / Banking

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Talking every day gets old. "So, what's new?" "Since yesterday? ...nothin'."

After a while, you start to dread it because it feels forced. Every so often is better.

- Response by anothergentleman, A Father Figure, Male, 29-35, Los Angeles, Technical

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