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Why is it guys never seem interested in me? What is wrong with me?
Dating / 12:35 PM - Saturday March 14, 2009

Why is it guys never seem interested in me? What is wrong with me?

I'm 22 years old and have never had a guy even ask me out. I just don't understand what is so unappealing about me. I not want to sound full of myself, but I think I'm at least pretty.

I'm 5'2, tan, brown hair and eyes. Im 125, size 4/5 jeans, 34C w/ size small shirts. I am really nice, I actually have an issue sometimes where I get disappointed by my friends a lot because they dont always think to do the things I would do for them for me. I consider myself bright, I have a 3.3 GPA, not the smartest person in my graduating class but still on the higher end. A lot of people tell me I'm funny. I'm and eduction major so kids love me, as do their parents. I'm very caring, I cry at public service commercials sometimes (depends on how much sleep I got the night before).

I just don't know what it is. I can be anywhere with my friends, just talking and having a good time and then some guy will come up and ask one of my friends to talk, dance or whatever. Slowly they will all drift off and I am alone, usually with the engaged or married friend. Everyone tells me I have to seem avaliable, but I dont see myself doing anything different then the other girls. I know I'm young (even though every other person I know my age and younger has at least had one relationship, most have had more and others are getting married and shit now), but the more I go out the more discouraging this gets.

- Asked by misfit2oo9, A Creative, Female, 26-28, Teaching

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Hmmm.....

Well, do you unknowingly give a vibe off that you ain't interested? If so, a friendlier presence is needed.

But sometimes, folk on the hunt can tell the difference between an easy target and one who ain't the "hit it and quit it" type. If that's true, then consider yourself fortunate they look past you because that wasn't nothin' but a heartache waiting to happen. Don't be discouraged about being single or not being approached as much as you'd like to be, some people are late bloomers in that field.

Just continue focusing on yourself and bettering yourself all across the board. That way, you're a more valuable commodity on the market and you have every right to raise your standards to weed out potential bullshitters. :)

- Response by king313, A Hip Hop Guy, Male, 29-35, Detroit, Other Profession

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Im interested.

- Response by dsampson09, A Hippie Chick, Female, 22-25, Chicago, Fitness

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Community Rating: Community Star

Okay, it has little to do with what you look and everything to do with your attitude and how you carry yourself.

If you're expecting guys to ignore you, it shows. Maybe you avoid eye contact too much or just don't seem open. While this isn't repellant, it can be off-putting and guys will take the safer route and talk to the friendlier looking girl.

If you're really brave, initiate conversation yourself. It could be something as dumb as asking a guy if he has the time and taking it from there.

If you end up alone at the table with all the married / engaged people and aren't happy about it, then get up and do something.

In fact, if you are attractive AND kind of have that closed-off vibe to you, you will not get asked out most of the time. It's intimidating.

- Response by snafu, A Career Woman, Female, 29-35, Toronto, Financial / Banking

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Judging by your avatar it's not a matter of looks, you are plenty good looking enough. So, it must be something with the vibe or aura you project. Are you really shy around guys? Do you give guys you find interesting some positive signs? A coy smile, slighty longer than appropriate looks, a friendly "Hi". Do you seem to lack confidence or an ability to carry on a conversation? That can be off putting. Do you seem desperate? Do you seem unapproachable? Do you seem overly judgemental? I don't really know what to tell you. It seems you have a lot to offer, but somehow you're not projecting that. Maybe, one of your friend could arrange a blind doulbe date for you with one of their guy's friends. Don't give up and don't try to force it, sooner or later you find someone if you're open to it.

- Response by twotwenty, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 46-55

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well
Your not ugly?
did you ever try to like talk to a guy and get to know him
there are millions of single lonley men

- Response by vank356, A Guy Critical, Male, 56-65, Technical

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Maybe you're hanging around at the wrong kinds of places. Instead of trying to meet a guy at a club, try other types of activities - hobby clubs, charity events, sports, classes - something where the focus is on an activity so that the guys get a chance to know you as a person. For example, when I was single, I used to play racquetball in a league, took a photography class at the community college, was part of a singles Bible study and volunteered with Habitat for Humanity. Those all helped me meet high quality singles - both men and women - who I could be friends with. A few of the friendships with the guys turned into dates.

A couple of other things:

1) Have a make-over done by someone who's taste you admire. There may be a few little things that you could do re. your appearance.
2) Try asking a guy to dance next time you're at a club instead of waiting for them to approach you.
3) Try things like match.com
4) Do you talk a lot? Be honest here. I don't know you, so I have no idea if this applies, but I did know a girl who was gorgeous, smart, etc., but she turned guys off because she talked nonstop. If this is you, or if you tend to talk when you're nervous - try being quiet and mysterious instead.

- Response by curvysmartgirl, A Creative, Female, 36-45, Dallas, Artist / Musician / Writer

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Be patient.Dont get down on yourself.You are still young,have fun.The dating stuff will kick in soon enough and then youll have a myriad of reasons to get frustrated with men!

- Response by scumpig45, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 46-55, Las Vegas, Celebrity

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