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Do you ever feel guilty after you finish having sex with someone that you are not in love with?
Sex & Intimacy / 1:41 AM - Saturday March 07, 2009

Do you ever feel guilty after you finish having sex with someone that you are not in love with?


- Asked by cjwahl, A Life of the Party, Male, 29-35, Who Cares?

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Nope.. never..

- Response by gbanga, An Alternative Girl, Female, 29-35, Hospitality

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Only if you think you took advantage of their good nature and they are really into you.

- Response by hulagirl55, A Sportif, Female, Who Cares?, Who Cares?

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no, because I never have sex with someone I am not in a commited relationship with.. its not the way I am wired

- Response by smartblond, A Sweet Sarah, Female, Who Cares?, Charlotte, Self-Employed

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I did when I was much younger. But, not so now, because I do not have sex with people I have no feelings for. :)

- Response by randyl, A Thinker, Female, Who Cares?, Los Angeles, Who Cares?

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No---I never felt guilty about having sex....ok- once I did because the guy wa so much younger than me and totally out of his league...he was only 22 and I was 30 and I seduced him

- Response by meowmeowww, A Thinker, Female, 29-35

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only infrequently. love ain't life, and sex ain't either. more often than not, you just zip it up and exit. after all, you've paid for it one way or the other, so it's about how much return you get on the emotional capital.

- Response by two469, An Alternative Girl, Female, 18-21, Seattle, Science / Engineering

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The worst part is when you live with them afterwards. Full time.

- Response by diglebe2, A Guy Critical, Male, 36-45, Self-Employed

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No, I don't feel that kind of guilt, because I'm just not into casual sex and doing it with just anyone. It has to be someone I care for or share a bond with.

- Response by anotherheartbreakinthemakes, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, New Orleans, Who Cares?

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yes, but only after he cried. i did not know he was in love with me.

sounds like you just had a one night stand with a drunk chick? well, you probably shouldn't have, but but not sure really, what you are asking>? hope you used a condom ;)

- Response by mtnluv29, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Self-Employed

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No my man I do not know that I have never done that to my heart, I am old fashioned and have loved only 2 people in my life and made love to 4 other women unmarried!!. I am a good looking very mature and physically fit guy that just didnt whore around and was afraid of STDs and AIDS?? I could have had mostly any women I wanted but I chose to keep my love life sacrate and it had paid off for me just my style and not judging anyone elses ,that their business!!So I say do what ever floats your boat but remember not to sink it???

- Response by ptawillis, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 56-65, Medical / Dental

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That's something I've tried hard to avoid. Be strong and keep this in mind for next time. Sex with love is the best.

;)

- Response by gettinslim45, A Thinker, Female, Who Cares?

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Well, I have never had sex of any kind with somebody I wasn't in love with, but I have most definitely felt like a piece of disgusting scum after going too far with somebody I wasn't in love with.

Unfortunately, it has never stopped me from doing it again with yet a different man that loved me that I didn;t love.
Such a paragon of morals, aren't I?

- Response by diamondsnrust00, A Thinker, Female, 26-28

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Don't do the crime, if ya can't do the time...:) IJS


- Response by bluegenel, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, Who Cares?, Technical

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Guilt is for children.

- Response by creepyolderguy, A Player, Male, 56-65, Medical / Dental

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Thinking about it makes me feel like vomiting.
Having sex with an opposite mate without feelings is more like eating the food you hate but have to eat bco'z ur too hungry..


- Response by janemann, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Self-Employed

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It's not something I ever do or have ever had the inclination to do, which is one way of avoiding that guilt.

- Response by tabbycat1, An Alternative Girl, Female, 29-35, London, Internet / New Media

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No I enjoy it too much

- Response by bigcurt, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 56-65, Pittsburgh, Self-Employed

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If I don't care about her, I don't feel anything but the nut....

- Response by king313, A Rebel, Male, 29-35, Detroit, Civil Service

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You ass. Yes, i had sex with a best friend of mine when i was younger. Worst mistake of my life. And my ex-best friend WAS a female.

- Response by desota18, A Creative, Male, 22-25, Self-Employed

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yes..i sometimes..do feel guilty depends the situation..but most of the time i hate it when their nice and then they have sex and leave..rather than let it be what it is a sex..no nice gestures or anything..but most of the time i try to have sex like a man no feelings..just sex..but not recently..no sex for me...

- Response by pinkypixiesprkl, A Trendsetter, Female, 29-35, Dallas, Retail

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Yes I have felt guilty because I felt like I was taking advantage of them or 'using' them just for my own selfish needs...that's why I have learned to really decide if I want to deal with a one-night stand or if I would rather just go without for that one night...don't worry about it cj, I'm sure she had just as much fun as you did...:D

- Response by fastball, A Cool Mom, Female, 36-45, Edmonton, Self-Employed

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No I feel since he is the guy it probably makes me feel worse that the sex is meaningless. Usually the woman leaves feeling used while the guy gets off without a dent. At least you're one of the few men with a conscience.

- Response by A Thinker, Female, Who Cares?

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I don't do "one-night stands" because they would make me feel both taken advantage of and like a whore. But I think they are a gendered realm. I have the strongest tendency to dish out my term paper on genders, socialization and stereotypes LOL.

- Response by punkalafunk, A Career Woman, Female, 26-28, Vancouver, Civil Service

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Yes, because I 'used' someone to satisfy my lascivous desires. There's this empty feeling you get afterwards when you realize that the only reason you had sex with someone is because that's all you got out of it, sex. That's why the term 'intimacy' is correlated to sex, yet we abuse the act to an animalistic level. Pretty disgusting, huh.

- Response by omontecristo, A Career Man, Male, 29-35, Philadelphia, Medical / Dental

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Hi cjwahl,

If it was sex based on mutual desire, and a clear, mutual understanding (that it be casual): absolutely not. Save your guilt for situations in which you truly behave like a heel.

Rougemarie.



- Response by rougemarie, A Thinker, Female, 36-45

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ha...nope...thats what makes it easy actually. Just always use protection. (;

- Response by babuschka, A Trendsetter, Female, 26-28, Artist / Musician / Writer

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maybe that i hadn't found her sooner....maybe.

- Response by movi, A Guy Critical, Male, 46-55, Administrative

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Nope.

- Response by bikerchick1, A Life of the Party, Female, 36-45, Atlanta, Financial / Banking

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I've never had sex with someone I haven't been in love with.
:-)


- Response by myndseye711, A Thinker, Female, 29-35, Bilbao, Celebrity

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yes I have felt guilty after having sex... but for different reasons....I felt guilty twords myself and my feelings because it turned out that I had feelings for them and they did not for me....to them I was just another lay.

I had a situation not too long ago where I did not love some one and I thought about going to bed with her. She got to the point of showing me her breasts and asking me if I would have sex with her. the thing is I am a guy who needs to feel love for a woman to get intamate....I did not feel that way twords her and I realized I could not develop such feelings for her...so I stopped the encounter. I feel a little bit guilty that I allowed it to go to petting even.

- Response by sirkermittsg, A Guy Critical, Male, 36-45, Dallas, Transportation

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no not at all. ive had my share of 1 niters and have never had that guilty feeling

- Response by rnkatie, An Alternative Girl, Female, 36-45, Medical / Dental

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well... for someone whose own feelings r valuble and for someone who feels he/ she shall not waste his emotions on a person he doesnt love.. its not an option to do it in the first place.


- Response by nivo4ever, A Career Woman, Female, 29-35, Executive

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I haven't done this, but I sure will lest I did.

- Response by donau20, A Sweet Sarah, Female, 29-35, Artist / Musician / Writer

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yeah i have had a couple of one night stands out of drunkeness. i mainly did it cause i was feeling crap anyway and decided a mans touch may make me feel better... it did at the time however surprise surprise the next morning i felt guilty as sin! sex with somebody that your in love with or you care bout is so special and you feel great afterwards esp if both of you are happy! but dont be too hard on yourself you'll learn after that!! xxxx

- Response by tippcailin, A Life of the Party, Female, 26-28

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I don't but then again, I just don't drop and screw. The last 2 times I've done it, I get the morning after "You're a nice guy, but..." speech, and then I never see them again. They always regret it and I don't know why.

- Response by A Creative, Male, 29-35, Teaching

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nope i cant say i have i have liked the guys but iv never been in love.. they use me i use them its a win win :)

- Response by l1ttlem1sssunsh1ne, An Alternative Girl, Female, 26-28

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No I don't

- Response by A Creative, Female, 26-28, Student

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God damn! Look at those pearly whites!
Great smile!
To answer your question...yes.

- Response by mstoronto, A Trendsetter, Female, 22-25

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f.y.i. my answer earlier was based on the original question. I've already answered it, no need to get into any more details.

- Response by desota18, A Creative, Male, 22-25, Self-Employed

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Use a man for sex??????(Gasping!!!) Now why didn't I think of that? Oh yeah...because I'm not a man!
So no, I've never had to feel guilty for having sex.

- Response by joybird, A Hippie Chick, Female, Who Cares?, Who Cares?

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???? Guilty about what?

- Response by gilpill, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 46-55, Chicago, Internet / New Media

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You mean like my wife? LMAO.. Seriously, I have never felt any guilt about that. I just figured they did not love me either so we basically were scratching each other's itch. I guess the only time I came close was when a girl I was banging developed feelings for me, and I had none for her, at least not love.

- Response by hearmenow, A Guy Critical, Male, 56-65, Other Profession

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nhie done that..

- Response by luckycowgirl, A Player, Female, Who Cares?, Celebrity

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no, they would know right off the bat i didn't love them.

- Response by piiiiink421, A Cool Mom, Female, 26-28, Self-Employed

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Nope!

- Response by djdk0607, A Player, Female, 46-55, Dallas

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if he is also not in love with me, I don't feel guilty at all!

- Response by A Creative, Female, 26-28, Mexico City, Internet / New Media

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sometimes. I think it's b/c sex is suppose to be with someone you and care about, not with some random person you met when you were drunk at the club.

- Response by poeticlove08, A Thinker, Female, 22-25, Student

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I have never done it but I would feel guilty

- Response by deliamv, A Sweet Sarah, Female, 22-25, Who Cares?

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I have never done it but I would feel guilty

- Response by deliamv, A Sweet Sarah, Female, 22-25, Who Cares?

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I would if I thought I was leading him on and he had more feelings for me than I had for him. Then there is potential for eventual disaster. But if he is well aware of the situation than I think we are both on the same page and know what exists between us. There is something to be said for not taking each other so seriously and just living in the moment and appreciating it. As long as both of you know that is what it is.

- Response by dreamdancer, A Creative, Female, 36-45, Houston, Other Profession

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why have sex with someone u dnt love?

- Response by kristine081202, A Thinker, Female, 29-35, Political / Government

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Only when it's my husband's friend.

- Response by A Life of the Party, Female, 36-45, Boston, Who Cares?

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