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Active Questions

Do some people really just attract losers?
Dating / 11:08 AM - Friday March 06, 2009

Do some people really just attract losers?

Some people go from one loser to the next and to hear them tell the story it's just that these losers are the only people who are interested in them because "I always attract the bad ones, never the good"...does anybody else think that it's less about who they attract and more about who they CHOOSE?

- Asked by saralabelle, A Sweet Sarah, Female, 26-28, Fashion

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One of my favorite replies is, "You're not a victim; YOU picked him."
We have what's called a "Victim Chick" mindset, and what it comes down to is, she's really only a victim of her own bad judgement.

- Response by chesterdad, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 66 or older, San Francisco

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People tend to attract the kind of people they think they are and that they deserve. If you tell youself you have no worth you will attract people who will treat you that way. How much we value and respect ourselves determines how much those around us value and respect us. If you think you deserve the best you will have it and if you think otherwise, that's what you end up with. Choose to think well of yourself, stand up for what you believe in, be kind to you and know that you deserve the best and you will have it. It is all in how you see yourself and yes, who you choose is what you get. People as a general rule treat us the way we expect or allow. There are too many really nice people out in this old world looking for someone who isn't a loser to ever settle for a loser.

- Response by tootcat, A Thinker, Female, 56-65, Retired

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You are right to a degree. People CHOOSE what they think they deserve or can get. Like many, they don't know their self-worth or it's all tied up in external validation like appearance, relationship status, etc. So they make choices based on filling that sense of lack or void and usually that's a poor choice. Regardless of what they say, if someone is in one bad relationship after the other, they are choosing them (or attracting them) because they are operating from an internal thought process of not being worthy for anything more.

Others like to be "On top" in the relationship so they choose people that are "less than" them for the reason of having a constant Ego boost by their side. Same logic--they don't think they can get and keep someone of their level or above them. It's sad.

- Response by thottienc, A Career Woman, Female, 36-45, Who Cares?

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A little bit since if where she are looking is at places where losers congregate. One friend was wondering why 3 of her last bf were such alcoholics. I asked where did you meet them, one was at an AA meeting, the others were wasted at a bar, go figure. But a whole lot of " You are attracted to losers".

- Response by jjcabin, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 46-55, Washington, DC, Technical

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I attract Stalkers... lol... Something in my personality makes them say "hey, ther's a good one"
Wish I knew what, I'd change it for sure....

- Response by nicolegillenwater, A Thinker, Female, 36-45

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I think its a little of both honestly. Most of the people I know who are like that tend to have self-esteem issues. One thing most losers are very good at is spotting people's weaknesses and exploiting them. They can smell low self-esteem the way a dog can smell fear. So on the one hand, losers are attracted to them, but only because of the vibe or signals they're giving off...

- Response by rokitman, A Creative, Male, 36-45, Artist / Musician / Writer

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Agreed. There's only one common denominator in all those relationships.

- Response by rooster1eye, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 29-35, Las Vegas, Executive

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It's all who you choose. Your not even realizing it but there are other men in the room who take notice to you but your looking for that one guy(the bad one). Why don't you be open and try something new. Open up to the guys you shun away. Try a guy for his personality and not his looks( for example)

- Response by A Thinker, Female, 26-28

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Yes, ther eare people like that. DI don't know what it is about them that attracts every loser in 20 miles, but they sure do. The sad part about it is they don't realize they keep picking the same guy over and over each time, just a different face. Low self esteem has alot to do with it, uneducated, and their desire to have a man it overwhelming.

- Response by barbb, An Alternative Girl, Female, Who Cares?, Other Profession

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