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Is there such a thing as an emotional affair?
Married Life / 10:10 AM - Thursday March 05, 2009

Is there such a thing as an emotional affair?

Can someone clear up this situation for me, if you are in a relationship/marriage and you confide your problems, goals, secrets, with someone of the oposite sex its called an emotioanl affair/cheating, but if you do this with someone of the same sex its called a buddy relationship, whats going on?

- Asked by steady4rhyne, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 46-55, Self-Employed

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Kind of messed up, if you ask me.

- Response by curiouscat67, A Trendsetter, Female, 46-55

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I don't agree with the concept of "emotional cheating". Cheating is physical.

But if you're in a marriage or a commited relationship and you become emotionally closer to someone else, to the exclusion of your s/o, then that's a problem, no matter what the gender.

- Response by piscesrising, A Thinker, Female, Who Cares?, Boston, Internet / New Media

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The difference between an 'emotional' affair with the opposite sex and the same kind of confiding with your own sex is that one of them can and usually does Turn PHYSICAL.

It is cheating no matter how you slice it when it's someone of the opposite sex. You are taking time and emotions, problems, goals and secrets AWAY from the very one who should be involved in them. Not your office hottie.

- Response by englishrose4945, A Life of the Party, Female, 66 or older, Miami, Alternative Medicine

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yes, you can be emotionally connected to someone but not physically, and be so in love with them

- Response by daffodils2008, A Thinker, Female, 56-65, Medical / Dental

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I don't consider that cheating. I mean, a lot of us who have been married a long time know there are things we just can't discuss with our spouses; they won't listen or they don't want to hear it or they have strong, alternate opinions.
Of course, most of the men I've had that type of confidence with were gay. That makes a big difference.
I think as long as your "friend" is just a friend and you aren't physically attracted to him, it's not a problem.

- Response by jenny12, A Career Woman, Female, 46-55, Other Profession

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That exactly right. The problem is that you become emotionally attached to the other person. The love and energy and intimacy you should be working on with your spouse is going to another. Our hearts and our sex drive follows.

I know, I became infatuated with a friend. I knew I was, but I lied to myself saying it didn't matter. It mattered.

The difference in the two situations is that when you have a male confidante, you don't start to want to sleep with him. Seems simple, but it's not so much.

Good luck and God bless

- Response by kravjar666, A Father Figure, Male, 46-55, Los Angeles, Consulting

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If you have feelings for them, it is. And you probably do if you're writing this. I went through this in a relationship... my dumb ass wrote about it in my journal and got caught... I was just trying to sort out my emotions, and it turned into a mess. So beware on here ;)

- Response by A Career Woman, Female, 26-28, Other Profession

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Just like any other form of cheating, you have to think of how you would feel if your partner was having this kind of emotional relationship with another man. How would you feel to know she is having stimulating conversation with a guy that isn't you? Especially if she is having these conversations with him and NOT having them with you. How you feel about something like that will determine if you feel it's a form of cheating or not. She may not feel the same way if the tables were turned and you were having these conversations with a woman other than her.

- Response by bunkie, A Creative, Female, 36-45, Boston, Consulting

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Yeah its too much intimacy between ppl of the opposite sex. Things will get weird after a while...

- Response by sweetmama247, A Sweet Sarah, Female, 29-35, Buffalo, Home Maker

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