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How can I turn down a guy politely and kindly?
Dating / 10:15 PM - Monday March 02, 2009

How can I turn down a guy politely and kindly?

There's this guy who's clearly interested in dating me (we've gone out for coffee once), but I'm not really into him. Let's just say he's not my type. I'm not sure how I can turn him down, and make him understand that all I can offer him is friendship. I don't wanna lead him on, but I've agreed to see him again for pizza. He cancelled on me at the very last minute, which don't really bother me (nor turn me off since I'm not turned on in the first place). Now, he wants to reschedule, and I've been quite busy with my own stuff, and our schedules just don't meet. I'm not going to reach out to him to fix a suitable date for both of us because, again, I'm not into him.

Please, any help of how to turn him down in a non-bitchy way (like, not just rejecting phone calls and not replying to SMS/emails)?

- Asked by bluefrog101, A Sweet Sarah, Female, 29-35, Artist / Musician / Writer

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Just do not ever get around to being available. That is easy. Even a complete idiot would eventually STOP asking, if you are just too busy to commit to a date.

- Response by randyl, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Los Angeles, Who Cares?

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A swift kick to the nuts does wonders.

- Response by shanegalang, A Rebel, Male, 46-55, New Orleans, Transportation

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Community Rating: Community Star

Tell him you've been trying to get over your ex and aren't ready to date... He will think the issue is yours, not his...

- Response by abbybelle, A Trendsetter, Female, 29-35

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The next time he contacts you, politely but firmly tell him you are not interested in a relationship with him. You have no need to be apologetic about it. If he gets the hint, he will stop trying to insert any dating or romantic aspect into your meetings and you can try to start a friendship. If he insists on still trying to put moves on you, then you would be justified in using the bitchy measures.

- Response by funkymustafa, A Guy Critical, Male, 26-28, Boston, Military

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