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Active Questions

Signs he's a potential stalker...
Dating / 8:47 AM - Monday March 02, 2009

Signs he's a potential stalker...

In December I started hanging out with this guy as friends and everything was cool. Over the last couple of weeks things have become a little more intimate and we have started hanging out at each others houses. Somethings about this guy seem a little off since we started hanging out...IDK what it is. He seems like he has potential to be obsessed or a stalker or controlling or something. For example, he has asked strange questions like "Do I have a gun in my house?" "What time do I leave for work" "How would I protect myself if someone were to break in" "Where do I go out (wanted specific names of bars)" etc. At first I thought he just wanted to know more about me, but he won't give me any details about him. Like I asked when his b-day was and he said April, but refused to give me the actual day! There are plenty of other things along the same lines. What do you think?

Update: March 02, 2009.
Thank you all for your responses. At first I was thinking it was just me...afterall he has met my friends and sister when we have met up at bars. He seemed like a really good guy and everyone thought so, but now that it's one on one time he is acting much differently. The random questions will come up in a joking around type of way all on different occasions. So I guess the writing is on the wall and it's time to part ways...which I'll admit has me a bit concerned. Thank you all and YES I do have a very big dog and an alarm system on my house :) Wouldn't let him near my dog...

- Asked by Female, 36-45

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Womens intuition is your 1st line of defense in self preservation! When in doubt "throw it out"...that goes for his questionable behind as well!

- Response by mooreniecy, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Washington, DC, Political / Government

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STOP answer any questions he asks about you or your life. He probably knows too much already. Tell himm you purchased a gun the other day and would use it on anyone breaking into your home. Begin to variy the places you go and times you leave for work or any place else. He soundlike he is setting you up for something. I would stop seeing him all together, and change your phone number and maake sure you house is secure at all ltimes. You could also tell him you have had an alarmm system installed at home.

- Response by barbb, An Alternative Girl, Female, Who Cares?, Other Profession

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- Response by nicolegillenwater, A Thinker, Female, 36-45

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Stalking is the least of your worries. He sounds like he is setting you up to become a victim of crime. Change your locks now. By any chance, have you given him a key to your house? BIG mistake!

Install an alarm system and don't give him the code nor deactivate it while he looking over your shoulder. If you told him you don't have a gun, get one and learn how to use it on the very same day!

No matter what you told him previously, do you best to change all the answers. If you can change your days off at work, do so. If you can change the hours you work, do so.

Never, ever tell anyone anything that you wouldn't want a hoodlum to know. he won't even give you his birth date?? RED FLAG!

- Response by agesago, A Cool Mom, Female, 56-65, Transportation

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Reading your post gave me the creeps when I got to the part where he asked about a gun in your house and what you'd do if someone were to break in...

My "gut" tightened and I felt fear...

Based on my reaction, I'd say he's not "right" and it's possible you could be in danger.

Do you know of anyone else who knows him? What is their opinion? Have any of your girlfriends met him? What's their opinion? Has any of your family met him? What's their opinion?

Guys who have a romantic interest in a girl are protective of her. It's just one of the traits of being a guy...BUT...his questions were weird, awkward, and unusual. I've NEVER been asked ANYTHING like that by a guy and I dated a policeman once (he'd remind me to set my home security alarm whenever he left and I was there alone, and he'd inform me of serious crimes in my part of town that never made the news, but that was about it).

There are lots of "fish in the sea" so to speak. I'd find a way to stop hanging out with this guy. And obviously, YOU think something isn't right here - trust your gut.

- Response by kiki812, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Atlanta, Artist / Musician / Writer

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This reminds me of TED BUNDY!
He's a serial killer hun...RUN!

- Response by mstoronto, A Trendsetter, Female, 29-35

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If you have ANY doubts or gut feelings then start by not spening much time with him, if he wants to know why you can come out and tell him your fears. Over the phone!! Don't give him more information than you already have until you feel safe with him if you ever do. Ask him why he is so reticent about himself.

- Response by englishrose4945, A Life of the Party, Female, 66 or older, Miami, Alternative Medicine

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I hope you have a dog!

- Response by seasons4, A Sportif, Female, 46-55, Financial / Banking

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This guy is going to attack you and he's in the house.

- Response by jonesthicket, A Creative, Male, 29-35

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Yeah I think that's a little creepy. Since you were asking if he was a potential stalker I tried to see the questions he was asking in a different way just to make sure, but those are strange questions to be asking even if he was just being protective and concerned for your safety. I would definitely stay away from him - maybe get an alarm system and change your locks right away in case he's already done some in-depth casing on your place and knows how to get in by now.

Just be careful - make sure you let your local PD know about it and ask them what steps you should take.

- Response by jenjenmcmorris, A Married Girl, Female, 26-28, Home Maker

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