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Hes such a jerk, but why do i still miss him? should i forgive him?
Friendship / 11:13 PM - Wednesday February 18, 2009

hes such a jerk, but why do i still miss him? should i forgive him?

me and my guy friend had an on/off relationship, and sometimes we went out as friends, and sometimes we went out as dates. but soon, he started seeing other girls, wen my status to him was, "friend". we were best friends last year, but on the last day of school, (the last day that i would spend in the state because i was going to go to another country the next day for two weeks) he didnt talk to me at all, he flirted with another girl the whole day. i was so mad, not only becuz he suddenly liked someone else, but becuz he ignored me. i told him that i would never speak to him again, and i refused to tell him why i was mad at him becuz he would just make up excuses. we had had little fights before, but i was determined to stay away from him. after summer, he moved in with his father and moved to a different school. he emailed me once or twice over the summer, and one more time during the fall-winter season. i am starting to think that i should forgive him, even tho he has lied to me, cheated on me, broken up with me, flirted with me then dumped me, ditched me, yelled at me, and ignored me before. i was pretty sure that i loved him. he poured his heart out to me, telling me things like how his sister tried to commit suicide. im not sure if hes worth forgiving tho.

- Asked by Female, 18-21

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All these things that you described about this guy are all red flags that you should not have anything to do with him. I believe that it would be ok to forgive him but only to never go anyfarther than just his friend.All the things that he has done is definitly not what you want to choose in a man if your thinking of having a loving relationship. take your time in your life and really get to know yourself first and then you will know what it is that you want in another person that you would like to have a nice long lasting relationship with.
I hope that this helps you Postal John.

- Response by postaljohn, A Career Man, Male, 56-65, Los Angeles, Civil Service

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Community Rating: Community Star

Excuse me... did I miss something. What did he do for you that was so great? I see all the bad things. Were there any good things? So why would anything be different the next time around??

You only miss him because you are lonely and without date. You will meet new people and get over it. Never repeat the same mistake twice.

- Response by randyl, A Thinker, Female, Who Cares?, Technical

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Life's too short to dwell on little things and play games. You obviously care for this guy or wouldn't be so attentive to the communication you've had. Just stop being immature and contact him, let him know how you feel. If he doesn't feel the same way, you've lost nothing b/c you currently have nothing. If he does, then you've made the first step to something bigger.

When you make all these accusations against him, are you considering that maybe you're not the best communicator (e.g. being mad at him, but not telling him why, etc)? Just be upfront and real...don't play games. It turns people off and makes you look bad. You're going to get nowhere in relationships by not expressing your feelings in a clear manner. Part of growing up is knowing how to be honest with yourself and others no matter what. So start now.

- Response by LIFORD, A Guy Critical, Male, 29-35, Financial / Banking

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NO,,nddont worry about it. S/O's at your age who seem so important now become "what-was his name?" in a couple years

- Response by wallvis, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 66 or older, Retired

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well to be quite blunt, the answer seems obvious to me and I am almost sure it is obvious to you as well. However I have been here before (in some sense) and I really do understand how hard it is to just let go. I have been trying to let go of this one guy for about a year and a half now and I think I have finally done it. Everyone else can see that he is no good for me and that I deserve better, but I just want to believe that he cares and that he will change. Much like your situation, I am here to say that it will not get better. The more I tell myself it will, the less it happens. And just when I begin to forget about him, he finds a way back into my life or just drops me a message (like your guy has with the emails). The only thing I can say is that you need to steer away from the angry approach, as that makes them work harder to get your attention, and just amuse him. If he messages you, then either respond with something short, neither nice or mean, or simply do not respond at all. The more you keep him guessing how you feel, the more confused he gets. Eventually he will give up. I could give you hope and say he will change his ways, but there is no point. Unless he has some drastic maturity change and grows up, you are going to be waiting a few years if at all hun. I hope this babble helped you on some level. Good luck, I am here if ya need me!

- Response by ageni86, A Sweet Sarah, Female, 29-35, Buffalo

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You still miss him because things ended badly and you feel that it could have been handled better. He isn't worth forgiving though. Since there wasn't a lot of communication about each other's feelings when he did the cheating. He won't understand the great gift of your absolution, and he probably didn't think he did anything wrong. But with what happened to his sister, don't cut him off completely. He sees you in a special light. As for any relationship potential, who knows waht the future will bring?

I hope this helps.

- Response by benedictine, A Guy Critical, Male, 29-35, Detroit, Other Profession

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You are totally and utterly imarture.when you are older and look back on these things you will realise how naive you were.

- Response by duggers, A Guy Critical, Male, 66 or older

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is this stacy from Ms Carons 5th grade class? how are you?
still doing meth I see.

- Response by mtusa007, A Rebel, Male, 56-65, Self-Employed

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