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How do I stop my child from hurting our animals...
Sex & Intimacy / 6:11 AM - Tuesday February 17, 2009

How do I stop my child from hurting our animals...

I think our 12 year old son has been abusing our cat... 'Accidents' keep happening when only he is around. The cat burnt it's feet twice in hot water when our son was downstairs and we were upstairs... He claims that cat was on top the counter looking for food and fell in... Funny how only his back feet were burnt.

Two other times our son claims that the cat fell after we hear a really heart felt moan from the cat who is still a kitten only 5months old.

Then yesterday I found the cat with a shish kebab through its skin, he claims he doesn't know anything about it.

I'm convinced he's doing all these things. What can we do? Why is he doing these things? If we can't stop this we'll have to give our pets away as there lives are in danger...

There are other incidents too but these are the main ones I've highlighted...

- Asked by crazybeautfil22, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 29-35, Technical

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Get the cat rehomed right now, this is YOUR responsiblity.


Your son is too young to be charged with animal cruelty but you can be if you continue to let it happen.

Once the animal is out of harms way deal with your son. I don't know what to say except seek professional help.

It is a well known fact that a lot of serial killers start out by torturing small animals as children...

- Response by beelzebub, A Guy Critical, Male, 29-35, Who Cares?

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According to a 1997 study done by the Massachusetts Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (SPCA) and Northeastern University, animal abusers are five times more likely to commit violent crimes against people and four times more likely to commit property crimes than are individuals without a history of animal abuse.

Many studies in psychology, sociology, and criminology during the last 25 years have demonstrated that violent offenders frequently have childhood and adolescent histories of serious and repeated animal cruelty. The FBI has recognized the connection since the 1970s, when its analysis of the lives of serial killers suggested that most had killed or tortured animals as children. Other research has shown consistent patterns of animal cruelty among perpetrators of more common forms of violence, including child abuse, spouse abuse, and elder abuse. In fact, the American Psychiatric Association considers animal cruelty one of the diagnostic criteria of conduct disorder.

If you break it down to its bare essentials:
"Abusing an animal is a way for a human to find power/joy/fulfillment through the torture of a victim they know cannot defend itself."

Now break down a human crime, say rape. If we substitute a few pronouns, it's the SAME THING.
"Rape is a way for a human to find power/joy/fulfillment through the torture of a victim they know cannot defend themselves."

Now try it with, say, domestic abuse such as child abuse or spousal abuse:

"Child abuse is a way for a human to find power/joy/fulfillment through the torture of a victim they know cannot defend themselves."

Do you see the pattern here?

- Response by puniksem, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 46-55, London, Consulting

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Community Rating: Community Star

First of all I would give the kitten to another family. I think it has gone through enough.. You seem very caring so I tell you the animal needs to feel some warmth and security.

Then, I would deal with my child like every parent knows. Personally I would def. consult a therapist

best of luck and do as you must *fast*

- Response by secilia, An Alternative Girl, Female, 29-35, Athens, Body Work

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First of all get rid of the fucking cat!
It's not fucking fair for the cat to suffer while your kid is being a heartless fucking bastard.
Then get help.
DONT LET THAT CAT FUCKING SUFFER BECAUSE YOU ARE A MORON!



- Response by cierrahc, A Trendsetter, Female, 26-28, Student

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tell him you don't believe him.
call him a lying twerp bastard.
beat him with a wiffleball bat.
give him the Fear of God young.
show him his behavior is wrong.
scar him for life, emotionally.
kill him with your un-kindness.
bury him in guilt-ridden fears.
love him fully unconditionally.
send him to a psycho-therapist.
(PICK ONE FROM THE ABOVE LIST)

- Response by geester, A Creative, Male, 46-55, Celebrity

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tell him you don't believe him.
call him a lying twerp bastard.
beat him with a wiffleball bat.
give him the Fear of God young.
show him his behavior is wrong.
scar him for life, emotionally.
kill him with your un-kindness.
bury him in guilt-ridden fears.
love him fully unconditionally.
send him to a psycho-therapist.
(PICK ONE FROM THE ABOVE LIST)

- Response by geester, A Creative, Male, 46-55, Celebrity

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That is something that the child defiantly needs to talk to a therpist about. And you should get rid of the pets because its not going to be fixed in one trip, I doubt he'll even get it out of him in one visit. If hes has no remorse on hurting animals, he will have no remorse on hurting people. Get him help please.

- Response by amongyong, A Cool Mom, Female, 29-35, Retired

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So he was born when you were ten? Well what did you expect? You are a child raising a child.

And he is Jeff Dalmer. Children who torture animals grow up to become rapists and murderers. This child needs to be in therapy.

- Response by llafsroh, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 46-55, Boston, Science / Engineering

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Well this is not just about protecting your animals. Your son needs psychological help! Studies show that animal abusers can be five times more likely to commit violent crimes. Violent acts toward animals have long been recognized as indicators of a dangerous psychopathy that does not confine itself to animals.

Animal abuse is not just the result of a minor personality flaw in the abuser but rather a symptom of a deep mental disturbance. Research in psychology and criminology shows that people who commit acts of cruelty toward animals don't stop there; many of them move on to their fellow humans.

If I knew that my 12 yr old was abusing the family pets I would seek counseling ASAP! This is not normal curiosity at this age. There is something wrong here and as parents it's your job to take this very seriously.


- Response by kdtxchic30, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Who Cares?

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Get him to a psychologist NOW. This is NOT a good sign. Give the pet another home. You have to come to terms with the fact that there is something mentally disturbing with your son..if you don't it could potentially cause some even more terrible things to happen in the future!!!

- Response by wildbelle, A Thinker, Female, 22-25, Pittsburgh, Food Service

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Weirdly enough i was watching Halloween last night. The little 10 year old kid started off torturing and killing small animals, then it turned into actually murdering his family! Obviously im not saying hes gonna do that, but its a proven fact that all serial killers/murderers start off with animals.
They like to have the feeling of power and control over things. I dont know what your home life is like and im definitely not one to judge but i think you should talk to him about it. Maybe hes going through a hard time with school/friends/family.
Meanwhile get rid of the animals for the time being, its really not fair, or get a big ass rotweiler that will bite back! (just kidding)
Good luck!

- Response by xxhomophobiaxisxgayxx, An Alternative Girl, Female, 22-25, Dublin, Student

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How can you as a parent and a "responsible" pet owner allow this to keep happening? You know it's happening so You're the one who needs to stop it! First I would find a home for the cat and any other pets in the home then I'd get that son of yours into a group home or mental health until - Something! He needs help and he needs to know that it is wrong. If I ever caught my kids hurting my pets I wouldn't be sitting around doing nothing about it and I sure as hell wouldn't be sitting on the computer asking people you don't know how to stop it when you know how to stop it! Where I live you'd be under investigation for animal cruelty and for not seeking help for your son. When he grows up and becomes a murderer remember the reason why - Because you wouldn't get him the help he needed. Personally if he was my son I'd kick his ass and see how he likes it!

- Response by A Cool Mom, Female, 36-45

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wow i am amazed at the judge metal jerks on this site...it blows me away. especially the women who said she would beat up a 12 year old just to show him what its like. u teach a child by example so a big adult beating up a child is also a coward. children dont just start torturing animals as a hobby as a rule...they are deeply disturbed...often victims of abuse themselves, it is terrifying and shameful to talk about your child being this abusive. and there is also the feeling like my child could never do this. it is this shame and fear that keeps many people quiet about any type of domestic violence going on in their home.its is my shame to know that people like u exist..the ones answering this parents question..it is people like u that keep people quite and from asking 4 help...that is why so many pedophiles exist, i am sure if these people were able to ask for help Earlie it may keep them from harming a child..it is people who reach out for some encouragement to get help that are courageous so to the parent get your child help and talk to someone that will support u also...and u already know the animal needs a new home.dont let these judgemetal jerks keep u from asking 4 help....

- Response by sweetdarlingca, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Who Cares?

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i think your child has a serious problem and this could only escalate. make sure your child is free of toys and video games and shows that premote violence. imedently take him to a counsler or schycoligist they may even have to refure him to a psychiatrist ( hopfuly not) but he is only a little boy and people should not see him as some sort of monster because he will get help and not do these things again and he will grow up to be a very nice young man but you have to get him help right away. Also don't get rid of the pets just ask someone you trust to take care of them while he is getting help because you should not have to get rid of somthing you love because your 12 year old bullys and abuses them.

- Response by badmoth666, A Rebel, Male, 22-25, Melbourne

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Your son is headed down a dangerous road! He is pursuing pleasure, power, and excitement in deplorable ways, and if this behavior is allowed to escalate, it will destroy his life chances. Society is willing to help and forgive children, but they have no pity for sadistic adults. Your son desperately needs to change, but change is not possible unless something makes him desire change.
I do not think that any punishment you could give him would be sufficient to make him see the error of his ways. If he likes to see a kitten in pain then he probably also likes making you angry; If you yell at him and become distressed, that is an adrenaline-rush and reward for him, not a punishment. You need professional help for him, and maybe even the help of the justice system. Talk to a prosecutor, to see if you would have enough evidence to convict him in Juvenile court. If it is possible, he should be convicted. A boring jail cell, void of computer games and other stimulation would send him the message that sadistic actions have negative consequences-for him, and not just for other people.
Once he desires change, he will benefit from an expert counceler, and he will need to learn new ways of pursuing excitement. Some productive activities that might fulfill his need for attention and excitement are:
Theatre, rock bands, debate, football, hockey, bobsledding, competitive track; basketball, bull riding, gymnastics, circus arts and stunts, rock/mountain climbing, competitive swimming, action photography, xtream surfing acrobatics, skateboarding and biking on ramps, training to perform stunts in action movies training to become a firefighter.
Note: the kitten needs your help; if you take her to the humane society, a veterinary team will treat her injuries and then she will be put up for adoption.



- Response by pongamseed, A Thinker, Female, 22-25

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Your son is headed down a dangerous road! He is pursuing pleasure, power, and excitement in deplorable ways, and if this behavior is allowed to escalate, it will destroy his life chances. Society is willing to help and forgive children, but they have no pity for sadistic adults. Your son desperately needs to change, but change is not possible unless something makes him desire change.
I do not think that any punishment you could give him would be sufficient to make him see the error of his ways. If he likes to see a kitten in pain then he probably also likes making you angry; If you yell at him and become distressed, that is an adrenaline-rush and reward for him, not a punishment. You need professional help for him, and maybe even the help of the justice system. Talk to a prosecutor, to see if you would have enough evidence to convict him in Juvenile court. If it is possible, he should be convicted. A boring jail cell, void of computer games and other stimulation would send him the message that sadistic actions have negative consequences-for him, and not just for other people.
Once he is ready to change, he will need professional help and he will need to learn new ways of pursuing excitement. Some productive activities that might fulfill his need for attention and excitement are:
Theatre, rock bands, debate, football, hockey, bobsledding, competitive track; basketball, bull riding, gymnastics, circus arts and stunts, rock/mountain climbing, competitive swimming, action photography, xtream surfing acrobatics, skateboarding and biking on ramps, training to perform stunts in action movies training to become a firefighter.
Note: the kitten needs your help if you take her to the humane society, a veterinary team will treat her injuries and then she will be put up for adoption.



- Response by pongamseed, A Thinker, Female, 22-25

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First off : who beat your son?
Your son was physically abused and now he is repeating the act to animals.
Abuse is a learned behavior. He is taking out his agression the only way he learned how by physical abuse. So start to teach him proper ways to take out anger that is healthy and find out who beat your child and make sure it stopped.

- Response by A Guy Critical, Male, 46-55

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First off not every child that is violent toward an animal has been abused, nor will they all become a serial killer. My son had problems with harming animals and attacking his sister when he was 4, we got rid of the animals and found ways to keep him away from his sister and took him to his doctor to be referred to a psychiatrist. After being admitted to brook lane and originally being diagnosed as bi pillar with oppositional defiance he has since been seeing a new doctor and psychiatrist and is being evaluated for aspergers sunroom (which is a fully functioning form of autism). He still has some aggression towards his sister, especially since she instigates him (a siblings tend to do), but no longer purposely harms our animals. Re home your pets (even off its just temporarily) and get your son to a psychisttist immediately.

- Response by lynnelee8486, A Cool Mom, Female, 29-35, Home Maker

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