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How to break someones heart?
Dating / 1:41 PM - Monday February 16, 2009

How to break someones heart?

Well, this is difficult. I've basically been seeing my current GF for about 4 years or so. She's quite a bit older than me, 36, I'm 24. She's the nicest person anyone could meet, very beautiful, friendly, will do anything to keep me content. But I'm just not happy, I'm not sure if it's the age thing, or that I want to explore more, I just don't want to be tied down.
I'm too afraid to end it, I've really wanted too separate for at least 2 years. But my problem is I really don't want to hurt her feelings. She's been so nice to me over the past 4 years, never argued once!!
I've also meet someone else, which I must add I've not slept with yet, as I'd die if my GF found out. She's a bit younger than me, but not much.
I've had plenty of opportunity in the past to sleep with other women too, again which I've not done. But this one just seems special, just "right", really hard to explain.
But if anyone could shed some light on this, I'd be massively grateful.

- Asked by djebble, A Guy Critical, Male, 29-35, London

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- Response by nicolegillenwater, A Thinker, Female, 36-45

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- Response by nicolegillenwater, A Thinker, Female, 36-45

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I am speaking as a woman who has been with a man who is 10 yrs younger than me. We have been together about 3 yrs. and we love each other very much. We are best friends in fact. I know several times he has exptessed his desire to have kids, with tears in his eyes. I totally understand the fact that he would want to do that. He gets along great with my two yr old grandson, and loves it when he calls him Pa Pa. He gets tears in his eyes, and says at least I can be a Pa Pa, if not a father.

It tears me up inside when he talks that way, and I tell him that he can still have a family. He just needs to find a younger woman and they can have a kid. He crys and says the only woman he wants to have kids with is me, and he knows I can't do that anymore.

But you know what? If he were to find someone, and would have feelings for her, I would know it. I wouldn't want to stand in his way of finding true happines because I love him. The thought that he might have a shot of being a Dad would totally thrill me, even though it would kill me inside to think of him being with someone else. But that is something that I would have to learn to smile and deal with. I know I would always be a part of his life as a friend, and I would become friends with his woman also. He says he would find a woman, have a baby, and then find a way to get rid of her and keep the baby. I told him how wrong that is.

The best thing to do is to be totally honest with your woman, and let her know that you have met someone closer to your age that you may be interested in. If she is anything like me, then she doesn't want to be with anyone who dosn't want to be with her. It isn't like she couldn't find someone else who would love to be with her. She may feel hurt yes, but she will get over it. Women do that you know. We can go on, and live our lives. And we do. You need to be honest, and stop hiding your true feelings, because she will be able to tell. Trust me, she will. It isn't right to do this to her, because eventually you will sleep with this younger girl, and then how will you feel?
Let her know now. Be a man, and be honest and a stand up guy. Show some true emotions, and deal with things. Let her know that you care, but that things have changed.

Best of luck in finding what you seek~Thundergrl

- Response by thundergrl, A Life of the Party, Female, 46-55, Other Profession

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step up to the plate...its time to do the right thing and let her least give her THAT much respect...

- Response by rollinhigheh, A Life of the Party, Male, 36-45, Who Cares?

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Just leave her dipshit..... she knows you arent staying.... she's ten years older than you. Your a toy..... Dumbass..... now get out of the way so she can move on to the next plaything!~!

- Response by boxer1, A Guy Critical, Male, 46-55, Self-Employed

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The longer you wait the harder is becomes. Please don't assume that you will crush her and she wont be able to get over you.. woman are strong, we may be sad but we will get ovger you. By you assuming she is not you are wasting her time. She could find someone then does want to be with her but instead she is in a relationship that she believes you want to be there.
The next time you are together start by saying some nice things and then explain you love her but you just can not stay in the relationship. If she cries confort her but stay strong and postive if you can. It will be hard but afterward it will be over and you and she can move on with your lives!

Good Luck

- Response by jessb, A Sportif, Female, 29-35, Ottawa, Political / Government

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Unfortunately, you're being a wimp in this situation. So, she's a nice person and has treated you kindly, as I'm sure you've done the same. Therefore, why all the guilty feelings that you "owe" her a lifetime? That's just silly.

Tell her what you feel and tell her you no longer want to be in an intimate relationship with her, although you are willing to keep a friendship (no sex). You don't need to mention the other gal.

I do feel age is a part of it because what could you two have in common other than sex? She's got the better job at this point in life, as well as being wiser and being more in touch with what she wants out of life, whereas you are just beginning to discover what you want out of life and are learning life's lessons at this point.

Be nice and kindly end the romantic end of the relationship and if she gets nasty end it altogether. If she gets all needy and pathetic break it off entirely and don't be guilted into staying as you'll be miserable for the rest of your life, in addition to proving to yourself you can't be a man and run your own life.

Unfortunately, when breaking up, generally someone ends up with a broken heart, that is unless it is mutually agreed. That's life. good luck to you

- Response by msadvise, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Transportation

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Your basically putting off something that only you can do and it sounds like you have your mind made up. How does Ms. Right feel about you? Are you two connected in any way.. yet? It sounds as you truly want to view your other options and you have not had an opportunity to play all part of the field. You need to be in different positions on the ball field to see where your are going to get the most action that fits your needs and where you will be able to give your best to your "two team partner to be" so while you are still seem to have your respect by being faithful to a girlfriend, I would say honesty is the best policy.. I can't really say what this girl will say back to you because my problem is never on how to end a relationship. I have no problems whatsoever saying it's over. My big problem is trying to get one started. So your girlfriend seems as if she is happy with you per say? If you feel this way maybe she knows something is up too? You know the saying goes, "if you love something let it go.. If it comes back then it was meant to be." NEH

- Response by right2write, A Thinker, Female, 36-45

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