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Active Questions

Is four months of exclusive dating too soon to get engaged?
Dating / 4:09 PM - Sunday February 15, 2009

Is four months of exclusive dating too soon to get engaged?

Is four months of exclusive dating too soon to get engaged?

- Asked by Female, 29-35

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The answer to this question lies in the decision of the couple. If the two of you have only been seeing each other for the past four months and are certain that you only want to be with each other for the rest of your life then making the decision to let others know this by becomming engaged is appropriate.

What you must realize is that to be engaged does not mean that you are legally married! Take advantage of the engagement making sure that enough time is included to prepare yourselves as much as possible for your future together.

In this I am referring to not only the physical needs of a couple such as in housing needs, but also your emotional needs. If the engagement is given appropriate time to assure that things are in place, the time that is required to know if the two of you share any significant differences will also surface.

Hope this has been helpful!

- Response by 1helpfulhannah, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, St.Louis

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Yes it's too soon especially at your age.

- Response by kismet3, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Los Angeles, Other Profession

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Community Rating: Community Star

Yes, you're still in the "be on your best behavior" stage of your relationship. There is no reason to rush. Get to know eachother, get to know eachother's faults and little things that will annoy you about eachother. We all have them you know. But you don't know eachother long enough to know these little things that are not so little after marriage. Hey...Enjoy the dating phase!

- Response by bayshoregirl, A Cool Mom, Female, 56-65, New York, Retired

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- Response by rollinhigheh, A Life of the Party, Male, 36-45, Who Cares?

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In my personal opinion, yes. You're just barely getting to know each other.

- Response by cubbiegal, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Chicago, Administrative

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Yes. I don't think you know anything really about someone in only 4 months. After about 6 you should know if you could one day marry them, and after a year or two know if you'd be happy married to them.

- Response by alex86, A Hippie Chick, Female, 29-35

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Simply stated....YES!

- Response by zibet58, A Thinker, Female, Who Cares?, Teaching

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most would say yes but i got engaged after 5months....1 1/2 years later we're still happy together with a baby daughter

- Response by kents, A Cool Mom, Female, 29-35, Leeds, Fitness

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- Response by piscesrising, A Thinker, Female, Who Cares?, Boston, Internet / New Media

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Not at all. What most people don't understand is how love, (real love) works. So let me aske you a couple of questions:
"Do you feel comfortable with them in the same room alone, but not saying a word between you two?"
"Does morning breath really matter to either of you?"
"Is the smell of the other offensive to either of you?"

If Yes was your first answer, and No the answer to the other two questions, then getting engaged after just four months isn't too soon.


- Response by keller, A Mr. Married Guy, Male, 66 or older, Cleveland, Transportation

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Force him to lose 'his cool' a few times, & see how he handles it. This should give you a little insight into how he'll behave should you two get hitched...See if he works well under pressure, like an 'Allison Transmission'...IJS

- Response by billpayer, A Career Man, Male, 29-35, Who Cares?

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only you can decide that if its right its right if your truely happy then just do it

- Response by troyallen33, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 26-28, Technical

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No. It's not to early to get engaged but it's to early to married. I would get in engaged and set a date of a least a year from now.

- Response by juslovely, An Alternative Girl, Female, 29-35, Detroit, Artist / Musician / Writer

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To me, Yes.

- Response by abbybelle, A Trendsetter, Female, 29-35

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No; being age 22-25 is too soon.

- Response by creepyolderguy, A Player, Male, 56-65, Medical / Dental

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Depending on how long you've known one another, how much you know about one another and how much you've discussed marriage, I would have to admit that it may not be too soon...some people will actually have a long engagement so that they can 'prepare' for marriage and will take marriage counselling, find housing, discuss finances, and will figure out what both people want from the marriage and this can help a lot in making sure this is a step that both people want to take...if you are engaged, just make sure that the engagement gives you both time to process the commitment you've made and to learn all you can about each other so that you know that this is the next step in your relationship...congratu lations...:D

- Response by fastball, A Cool Mom, Female, 36-45, Edmonton, Self-Employed

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I believe so..but engagement this early is better than marriage I guess. If you haven't even experienced every holiday with the person, it's too soon IMO.

- Response by luckyinkentucky, A Cool Mom, Female, 29-35, Who Cares?

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Depends on who the people are, how long they knew each other before dating, how old they are, how settles into their lives they are, and how compatible they are.

Also, how long an engagement are they setting.

- Response by falconf1, A Father Figure, Male, 46-55, Ottawa, Who Cares?

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Personally, I wouldn't do it.

But it depends on if the couple REALLY knows each other enough to jump that fast.

- Response by king313, A Rebel, Male, 29-35, Detroit, Technical

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If you had asked "too soon to get married," I would say "no."

Are you two talking about a wedding date, or is it "I love you and would like to marry you someday"???

To too many people, the engagement ring is the goal, whereas to serious people it is just a marker, a reminder of an upcoming date on their calendar where their life changes forever.

A woman is a fool who accepts a ring from a man who proposes "marriage" without a date. And unless she gives him reason later to put a date on the calendar, she will experience little but frustration and eventual heartbreak for her foolishness.

- Response by cd92835, A Career Man, Male, 46-55

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for me yes.

- Response by thomasd, A Player, Male, 36-45, Boston, Technical

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Yes it is. In the beginning of a relationship the feeling are so big they can be almost overwelming, plus how well do you really know someone after only 4 months? After a year would be a good time to get engaged, cause you know each other a lot better. If it's real love then it will stand the test of time. Don't rush in.

- Response by mysticdream44, A Sweet Sarah, Female, 56-65, Who Cares?

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I would say that four months is far too soon.

I think that a year should be the minimum amount of time, before engagement and marriage is considered.

- Response by dbacksfan, A Player, Male, 29-35, Who Cares?

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..yes..unless u two are senior that time in ur life you'd know what u wanted and wouldn't have a lot of time to ponder about things..

- Response by michellekia, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, St.Louis, Financial / Banking

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4 months is WAY to soon to get engaged. I would exclusively date for 2 years before getting engaged. If you can't go that long- then you are in the wrong relationship. Take it slow and establish a healthy bonding relationship prior to getting legally and totally married. You may want to think about living together prior to marriage and possibly having sex together at least once. I believe in test driving the car before buying it.

- Response by chefdave2008, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 46-55, Sacramento, Food Service

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i married after 6 months of dating, was hell the whole 16 yrs. if i had it to do over i would've run the other way. slow down, take your time. who you are at 22-25 is NOT the woman you will be at 30 or 35.

- Response by sherripancake62, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Other Profession

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Yes 4 months is too soon for anyone to get engaged. It takes longer than 4 months to get to know someone inside and out.

- Response by staceym2112, A Cool Mom, Female, 26-28, Medical / Dental

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I got married after one month. And I am NOT pregnant. My husband is a good man but I have to admit, it is difficult at times. Still getting to know each other. What keeps me going is I know he is the best person out there for me. His quality is difficult to come by. He is a very nice man, loves me very much and loyal. If you've found one like my husband, I say take a chance.

- Response by sexyexotica, A Sportif, Female, 29-35, Other Profession

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Good lord, YES!

You don't even really know who each other are yet,
nor do you know what directions your lives will take
or what you really want from life.

You're "in love" and you think that's all that matters.
Unfortunately, it takes more than that.

Have you two been living together? I highly advise, you
consider moving in together for a while, before considering
marriage. Trust me, no matter how well you know someone,
you never know them as well as you will, after you've lived with them!

I wouldn't consider marriage, until you've had a good 4-6 months living together experience, and figured out if you can tolerate being together that much, and how well you manage the conflicts you'll encounter.

- Response by A Rebel, Male, Who Cares?

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- Response by istaywired, An Alternative Girl, Female, 46-55, Political / Government

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I had an idea before our first date that i might wind up marrying my wife. We got engaged about a year after our first date and then married about a year and a half after we met.

- Response by tnix123, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 36-45, New York, Managerial

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NO! it all depends on who you two are as a husband and I have been together for 5 yearsh now. We got engaged after 3 months of dating. I was 21 at thw time and he was 25. He is the love of my life. Every waking moment we spend together is like I always imagined I would be with my other half. If you live him and he loved you, do it. Don't let anyone tell you its too soon. Don't let anyone talk you out of it. If you're happy that is all that matters. Yes you'll learn that there are things that annoy you two of one another but that's the fun part about all this. Its learning who he/she is every second of the day. Its learning what to do when you have a fight. Its enjoying every argument. Every laughter. Every tear. Its all the little things you'll learn to love about each other. Like I said, don't worry about what others think worry about what ring you're going to get what dress you'll eventually buy for your big day. Worry about your first couch together. Or the new plates and utensils you're going to get. Worry about making him the happiest man alive. ENJOY!

- Response by kiddo708, A Married Girl, Female, 29-35, Medical / Dental

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