Thank you for your many years of support. We want to share the news with you that after much consideration, will cease operations in its present format on October 15th. We appreciate your meaningful contributions over the years.
Back to Home

Active Questions

How can i passionately make out with a guy without making him think i want to have sex?
Sex & Intimacy / 12:11 AM - Wednesday February 11, 2009

how can i passionately make out with a guy without making him think i want to have sex?

I am not a fan of making out in public, but I am a fan of making out. However, I feel like saying "wanna come back to my place" is equivalent to saying "wanna have sex." To make matters worse, I live in a dorm, and most of the guys I meet live in dorms, so the only room available for kissing in private is the bedroom and the only piece of furniture is the bed. I feel that this sends the wrong message and, while the idea of making out on the bed really appeals to me, I don't want him to be surprised when I don't go further. What signals can I send to a guy to let him know ahead of time that i want to stop at kissing?

- Asked by Female, 26-28

Read more about the Rating System

Try "I Wanna have hot sloppy makeouts, but I'm not ready for sex"

Make sure they understand the rules, and make sure to toss them the first time they violate the rules.

Do not be subtle with guys, and to not tolerat unacceptable behavior from them.

- Response by the1eyedking, A Guy Critical, Male, 29-35, Self-Employed

Rating Received:

Community Rating: Community Star

you dont want to have sex then you dont' have a passionate make out session, especially at your age.. guys are not good at dealing with that a kiss here and there is fine.. passionate makeout sessions are not

- Response by smartblond, A Sweet Sarah, Female, Who Cares?, Charlotte, Self-Employed

Rating Received:

Just tell him not to try anything--that you just want to kiss and cuddle. He may try anyway but at least he will know what your intentions are.
You may be heading for more intimacy--it isn't always so easy to just stop at any time.

- Response by lovelight, A Creative, Female, 66 or older, Los Angeles, Artist / Musician / Writer

Rating Received:

If you dont want sex then dont tease him or yourself..Is there a reason you dont want to have sex?

- Response by eagerbeaver, An Alternative Girl, Female, 29-35, Who Cares?

Rating Received:

"What signals can I send to a guy to let him know ahead of time that i want to stop at kissing?"

There are no signals. You must be very literal and tell him. Straight out using all of the words necessary. And, even then, if you go to the bed, they will accuse you of saying one thing while meaning another. :(

- Response by randyl, A Thinker, Female, Who Cares?, Technical

Rating Received:

When u have only a bed in the name of furniture, it is both used for lying down or sitting. With those whom we have only formal relation, we sit on the edge only, as if sitting on a chair.

Well, with this guy too, just sit on the edge, and talk, and kiss too. Go further if both want to, but only sitting on the edge. Let him know that so far you are not ready enough to lie down with him and make merry. Most probably he will take the hint. If not, just a movement of hand will do to prevent him go further.

- Response by counsellor, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 66 or older, Delhi, Self-Employed

Rating Received:

I think in this particular situation, trying to send signals to a guy will probably not work. I think most guys do want to have sex when you start making out w/ them, but you have to let them know - straight up - that you just want to make out and leave it at that. So I don't sound too much like an ice princess, I let my husband know that making out is just as nice (to me) as making love... It's the intimacy I crave, not intercourse. JMO.. Take care.

- Response by suzyscorp, A Creative, Female, 46-55, Who Cares?

Rating Received: