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My boyfriend can't hold an erection after he puts the condom on
Sex & Intimacy / 5:48 PM - Monday February 09, 2009

My boyfriend can't hold an erection after he puts the condom on

We're both virgins, but we've tried to have sex... three times. Both times we have built up enough so we are both physically ready, but as soon as the condom goes on he gets soft. Is there any way I can help him? He's really shy about his body and doesn't even want to put the condom on in the same room as me, even though I can convince him to. I just don't know what to do anymore. And then he gets really embarrassed and mad at himself, even though I do not show disappointment or resentment or anything. I usually say it's okay, we have plenty of time to try again another time, but he stays upset about it for days. Help!

- Asked by carlabops1692, A Thinker, Female, 18-21

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The fact that he gets embarassed tells me he is not ready for sex. When you are going to be THAT intimate with someone, nothing you share should be embarassing. He simply isn't ready. I think you guys should wait.


- Response by myndseye711, A Thinker, Female, 29-35, Vladivostok, Technical

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As you say...you have plenty of time. Apparently he's not quite horny "enough" just yet...practice makes perfect!

- Response by cardinalis, A Thinker, Female, Who Cares?, Who Cares?

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He can try a cock ring. It hold the blood in the penis to maintain an erection. After he manages to get it doen, it may give him the confidence to do it without it the next time.

- Response by wolverinesegg, A Career Man, Male, 46-55, Science / Engineering

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That's a common problem. Just give it a good suck...:)


- Response by bluegenel, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, Who Cares?, Technical

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If he's too embarrassed to even let you see him put the condom on himself, he's not ready for sex.

I think that's the problem. Emotionally, he's just not ready and it's causing this problem. Also, since you are ready and this issue has happened a few times, he probably feels extra pressured. I say drop the whole sex issue for a few months.

- Response by 1browneyedgirl, A Career Woman, Female, 29-35, Who Cares?

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You guys want to share something as intimate as sex together and yet he's so shy he doesn't want to put a condom on infront of you?
Really don't think he's ready. Give it some time!

- Response by wildbelle, A Thinker, Female, 22-25, Pittsburgh, Food Service

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Use non lubricated condoms and continue to give him fellatio after the condom is on. Most of this effect is mental and he needs to stop focusing on himself and refocus his entire energy on pleasing you through cunnilingus, fondling, kissing and other forms of foreplay. His erection will resume if he does those things.

- Response by joybird, A Hip Hop Girl, Female, Who Cares?, Who Cares?

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Ummm when he gets hard maybe you should have a condom handy so that you can try to put it on. But you must be sexy about the way which you do it or else he may get nervous! And while you are putting it on him, stroke his ego so that you can make him feel more confident in his body in front of you.

- Response by A Thinker, Female, 22-25, Who Cares?

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