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What kind of expenses does child support cover?
Family & Parenting / 5:51 PM - Friday February 06, 2009

What kind of expenses does child support cover?

My ex-wife is always asking me to pay her extra money for "special occasions." She wants to put my daughter in dance, but says I need to pay for half of it. She also demands that I pay half for preschool. Are these things typically covered by child support? I already pay her a healthy sum for child support and alimony, plus, my daughter is with me about 50% of the time anyway. I have a hard time knowing where to draw the line because I want what is best for my child, but I hate pitching more money to her mom. Advice please . . .

- Asked by hallsytbags, A Guy Critical, Male, 29-35

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IMO, you're being screwed. Alimony????? You gotta be kidding me!

I'd tell the ex to take a flying leap. The child support should already cover preschool and dance lessons.



- Response by utahmom, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Managerial

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I honestly think you should take her back to court for the alimony thing as well as child support by trying to get joint custody of her if you have her half the time already anyway.

She should not get to sit at home and not work while you work your ass off. The money you give her should cover any and all that extra stuff she wants.

- Response by melodyalise, A Thinker, Female, 29-35, Salt Lake City, Managerial

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I'd have a chat w/my lawyer first. They deal with this crap every day plus they know whats already in your divorce papers. If your daughter is with you truly 50% then maybe you could even get some financial credit.

If you can afford it its one thing, but if like so many X's shes just trying to get more for her own fun, then I'd cut her off at the pass. I am so glad there's no alimony here. If your daughter wants to do something then you can always pay directly to the place to be sure it gets used correctly. I know many women that use the X as a "go to" for frivolous things and pawn it off as kid related expenses.



- Response by singledad281, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 36-45, Houston, Veterinary

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Have her account audited and see if they can find miss use of the monies you have been giving her so that your daughter can go to dance. Maybe shes using drugs. Never know when its beyond your control.

- Response by diglebe2, A Guy Critical, Male, 29-35, Self-Employed

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you need to take her back to court and spell that out.. her lessons, school, etc is covered by your child support and Alimony? wow.. you are being taken to the cleaners my friend

- Response by smartblond, A Sweet Sarah, Female, Who Cares?, Charlotte, Self-Employed

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Child support alone should cover your half of all these kinds of expenses unless you feel like you want to contribute more. If your support payments are anything like what typical in my parts you're already paying a very hefty sum, especially if she's with you almost half the time.

- Response by twotwenty, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 46-55

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You should pay for whatever you think will make your child happy and keep her healthy. My ex pays a huge amount of childs support, in addition he pays for all of extra currecular activities, clothes whatever my son or I ask for. Kids are expensive and there are going to be things that no judge should have to make a parent pay. Trust me if you can afford it, do it, and get along with her mother at whatever expense. Trust it will make your little girl a happy healthy adult.

- Response by alicjohns9, A Career Woman, Female, 36-45, Los Angeles, Financial / Banking

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If you truly feel you are paying enough to cover all your daughter's expenses, then you should tell your ex-wife she needs to pay more attention to managing her money, and less attention to managing YOU. Any time you agree to cover an extra expense like a dance class, be sure to pay the bill directly and not just give her the money. But, be careful not to establish a "pattern" of paying for extras. Consult your attorney because all these extras add up over the years.

- Response by maryea, A Thinker, Female, 56-65, New York, Retired

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Sounds like you are paying mooooooore than enough already. Especially if she is with you 50% of the time. Then you shouldn't pay child support at all. And alimony? Is she not working?

- Response by silver75, A Thinker, Female, 29-35, Stockholm, Other Profession

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I have a theory that if he pays his childsupport (my X) on time - every time...I only expect him to buy our children Xmas & birthday presents every year......and everything else is MY responsibility!!!!
If she feels you're not paying enough there are websites that can tell you what you should pay - dependant on how much you make, how often they're with you & her income is also a factor...

Take a look at and calculate what you should be paying:
Alllaw.com

- Response by Vickey69, A Married Girl, Female, 36-45, Charlotte, Who Cares?

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By definition...Child support covers food, clothes and shelter that's it. Just do what is right for your daughter. If you want what is best for your child then pay for half of what is needed for her that is not food, clohtes and shelter. If you do not feel your ex-wife is actually paying for dance and preschool etc. Write checks for your half directly to the dance school and preschool it's really that simple. Just take care of your daughter and quit trying to make all about not paying your ex.

- Response by A Guy Critical, Male, 29-35, Los Angeles

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sounds like its about time for that paternity test

- Response by sosensitive, A Guy Critical, Male, 29-35

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Alimony!? oh my I am so sorry!

- Response by A Hippie Chick, Female, 18-21

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