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What does it mean when you ask a girl out and she responds with "I'LL think about it" ??
Dating / 4:55 PM - Friday February 06, 2009

What does it mean when you ask a girl out and she responds with "I'LL think about it" ??

Here is the situation,I've been talking with this girl for just about 2 weeks on and off but the chemistry is there.We met in college and the reason why we talk on and off personally is because she's always with her friends and her friends are mean girl, smart asses, so i don't even bother approching her when she's with her friends in school. But one day i talked to her when she was alone and asked her for her number she gave it to me.I try not to bother her, nor be very persistant with her so she can't feel pressured by me, but i have text her she most of the times reply back, she's always friendly with me when we talk she's the stern type so its hard to get a smile out of her but yet she laughs with me. So one day i asked her if she wanted to go out to eat with me, she replied "I'LL think about it" i said ok thats fine, but all the while i have continued to text her and she replies promptly.Recently I tried asking her again and she answered I'm still thinking about it.But everytime we talk she never runs away or avoid conversation she establishes in small talk with me.But I'm confused,i sense the feeling is mutually there but i dont understand her response, her answer, i dont understand what she means by "I'll think about it or I'm still thinking about it " I would like some advice with my situation, what should i do next, what does she mean when she saids "I'll think about it", how do i ask her again to go out with me, I would appreaciate your advice thank you.

- Asked by Male, 29-35

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If she has to think about tell her, no, let me think about it and I think I changed my mind..phooey on that.

- Response by butternutbisque, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Who Cares?

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She is trying to set the stage for the relationship. She intends to be in charge and get you to wait on her hand and foot.

Turn this around quickly. When she gets back to you, tell her you have other plans. And don't ask her for at least another month.

- Response by amberlynm, A Life of the Party, Female, 46-55, Who Cares?

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She may have a boyfriend??

- Response by seasons4, A Sportif, Female, 46-55, Financial / Banking

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Hmmm one of two things here. I kind of think she is just being nice and doesn't want to hurt you feelings. Or maybe she doesn't think her mean friends will approve? If I said I would think about it, to that means I don't want to hurt his feelings so I will keep putting him off until he gets the hint.

- Response by voodoo68, A Hippie Chick, Female, 46-55, Medical / Dental

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Ditch the bitch. Don't date girls who hang with mean smart asses.

The girl of your dreams will enthusiastically respond "YES!" when you ask her for a date. Only ask once. Then move on.

- Response by utahmom, A Thinker, Female, 56-65, Managerial

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I wouldn't ask her out again - the ball's in her court.

I'm sorry, but it doesn't sound like she's that interested and isn't mature enough to just say so. I've been there, I know it hurts.

- Response by snafu, A Career Woman, Female, 29-35, Toronto, Financial / Banking

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Either she's not really interested, or she's trying to play hard to get. Give it a while and then ask her again, and toss in a "third time, this just might be it"

- Response by twotwenty, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 46-55

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She's not really interested - just trying to be nice to you as to not hurt your feelings. Don't show as much interest in her going forward, but continue to be friendly when the opportunity is there. If she changes her mind I'm sure she'll let it be known. If she thinks you've lost interest in her, then you'll actually have a better chance by her trying to regain your interest . . . if she is remotely interested anyway.

- Response by hallsytbags, A Guy Critical, Male, 29-35

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I'd forget about her. When they respond like that they aren't interested.

- Response by youaskedforit, A Guy Critical, Male, 29-35

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I disagree with all the answers I have read this far. I'd say to be a gentlean and give her time to decide. She may have ahd a previous experience that makes her a bit hesitant or shy, or she may have something else going on that makes her hesitanto to commit to dating someone right now. Why not just offer to be friends, and take it slow. It may make her feel safer anad thus more inclined to date you. Say something that invites her to share what is on her mind or heart with you. Tell her gently that you really want to undertsand her answer better and why she wants some time to decide. Maybe text her the question so she has time to compose her thoughts before answering. If you really like her she is worth waiting for

- Response by fabweather95, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Newark, Home Maker

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awww hate to say it but I think it's:

- you boost her ego, and make her look popular when her phone beeps... she doesn't have any intention of dating u. She will always text you back and forth but she won't go out with you.

.. it's actually very RUDE for her to say 'i'll think about it'... sure in person with the cheekiest grin, but seriously.

- If she was playing hard to get it would be 'yes I'd love to go out, but I'm busy this night, busy that night, what about Tuesday (a week later).. she makes it convenient for her, and makes you wait... and possibly test you to see how far she can push you

- If she was playing hard to get... she wouldn't respond to every message, she'd make you wait - but then reassure you that she's into you when you spend time together

Find another nice girl that will let you do your thing, till then keep your chin up :)



- Response by floss500, A Thinker, Female, 29-35, Sydney, Self-Employed

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It could be that her friends don't approve of you. Some people hold their friends opinions very highly, and she can't become her own person. It could be that she is worried that if she dates you, she will lose her friends. Being as you and her friends don't seem to get along that well, she may be worried that eventually she would have to choose between you and them-not a situation anyone wants to be in.
On the other hand, it could be that she isn't really interested in dating you. She may be interested enough to be friends, but doesn't want to hurt you by saying no. There was a guy a few years ago that I wasn't interested in, but I would always talk to him when he talked to me. He would ask me if I wanted to go somewhere, and I wouldn't straight turn him down, while I never said I'd "think about it, I just always managed to be "busy." Yes I was a little immature about it at that point, but I didn't want to hurt him. I realize now that I may have been stringing him along without realizing it.
If I were you I would give up on trying to date her. There is no point in you waiting on her to "think about it". What is there to think about? It's not like you are asking her to spend the rest of her life with you. It's dinner, that's all. Either she is worried about what her friends would think, or she really is into you.

- Response by A Sweet Sarah, Female, 26-28, Cincinnati, Who Cares?

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Either she:
a) is interested in someone else and is stringing you along just in case she doesn't get the other guy
b) is playing hard to get
c) is trying to be nice and let you down easy
or
d) is trying to be more attractive by not "giving in" right away, letting you have "the thrill of the chase." (In my opinion it's a silly game to play but I do have friends that play it so it is a possibility.)

Ask her out one more time, if she's just playing games she may relent at this point. If not I would move on, she's not worth all of the drama she has you worrying about.

- Response by A Hippie Chick, Female, 22-25, St.Louis, Student

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okay... ya know that movie out now... "He's just not that into you"? Well.... she's just not that into you. I have had simmilar situations with guys who I text back when they text me BUT if the response is anything than a yes... then its a NO! She is keeping her options open by continuing to text you and keep you on the back burner then if an opportunity arises she might take you up on your offer. I have been in a relationship with someone and wanted to possibly date someone who got my number, but couldn't meet up b/c I was still witht he other guy... so I just answered his texts and politely avoided his invites out. Could be the same sinario? (sp?)

First off... why would you want to date a girl if you don't like her friends? Her friends will be a part of your relationship for sure, especially if they are as you say 'mean smart asses'. Second, if those are her friends... she can't be far off from exactly the same. Judging from my experiences.... I would back off and let her make the move. Try talking to a girl who is sweet, kind, direct, and has great friends... there out there.... best of luck. Be true to yourself and set your boundaries.

- Response by missl, A Hippie Chick, Female, 29-35, Miami, Teaching

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