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Active Questions

Dating cooling off period
Dating / 11:27 AM - Friday February 06, 2009

dating cooling off period

if you meet a man, and find out that he was in a long relationship that ended, how long would you wait before you would consider dating him seriously?

or do you not mind being the rebound chick?

im trying to determine whether its a good idea to be honest and say i was in a long relationship that just ended, or lie and say it ended months ago and am now ready to date, already had the rebound thing... what do you think?

- Asked by weekendbrew, A Jock, Male, 29-35, Miami, Technical

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Being a rebound chick is a tough place to be. YOU need to be sure that it is over before you involve yourself in someone else's emotions. Thats' the bottom line. If you are done with the old - then in with the new!

- Response by catdancing45, A Cool Mom, Female, 46-55, Baltimore, Self-Employed

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I don't go by length of time; I go by the way we interact and how he behaves in general. It's not hard to tell when someone is still pining over an ex, just looking for sex, dealing with baggage and all of that.

There are men who've been out of their long-term relationships for a year or more who still have major unresolved issues and aren't ready for serious dating and then there are men who ended long-term relationships in recent time who are truly ready to move on and explore something new and cool with a woman.

Don't lie.

- Response by surrealoptimism, A Creative, Female, 29-35

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I don't believe in lying. I'd tell people it broke up a few months ago or so, but it was a long time coming. Things were fizzling, unhappy for a long time (if that is true).

If you are truly over it, then be honest but go out. If you are still mourning, healing, think there is a chance you could get back, I'd give it time- maybe six months+

Or a compromise, would be just go out with women platonically, no ties, and be honest with them. Tell them you're just out of a relationship and want to meet different women, have fun. Of course on the bright side, if you find the right person, it could certainly grow and become a loving committed relationship. If they want something that will be potentially serious quickly, you aren't for each other at this time.

I'm sorry for your breakup. But you can have fun with single women who want to go out and meet different people. You could also join single groups in your area to enjoy time in a group, and at the same time maybe meet a person/people you might want to date. Best to find activities you are interested in whether it is boating, swimming, reading, movies, dining out, skiing, cars, whatever. That way you are doing something you enjoy and are passionate about-whether you meet women or not, and who knows a great lady could be icing on the cake. Take care and have fun!

- Response by lasuz, A Thinker, Female, Who Cares?, Los Angeles, Retired

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never lie.
it will catch up with you and will bite you in the behind very badly.
wait six months.

- Response by amandasboy, A Father Figure, Male, 66 or older, Atlanta, Retired

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Be honest and say when it actually ended. You don't want that to bite you in the ass later. If you are truly over the past relationship then you're new one won't be a rebound.....only a new relationship.

- Response by Di0910, A Life of the Party, Female, 29-35, Dallas, Medical / Dental

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I tend to take things as they happen. You can usually tell if you're the rebound chick by his behaviour towards you. Some guys bounce back and see each new girl as a new girl, I like to give them the benefit of the doubt.

I honestly don't bring up past relationships, unless they guy asks, and then I am vague. People have preconceptions that can mess things up.

There are no rules or formulas to make a relationship work out.

- Response by snafu, A Career Woman, Female, 29-35, Toronto, Financial / Banking

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Rebounds can be more than just one person. Are you sure you're ready to be dating someone new?

If you're sure you're completely over your last serious relationship and you're happy being single, then you're probably ready to date again. Be honest if they ask, but that's information you don't have to volunteer upfront.

- Response by anothergentleman, A Father Figure, Male, 29-35, Los Angeles, Technical

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be straight up about it. But just because you are recently out of a relationship does not mean you have to rebound per se.

- Response by hoopsjunkie, A Rebel, Male, 46-55, Indianapolis, Self-Employed

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I have respect for a straight shooter!
Tell me upfront.

- Response by seasons4, A Sportif, Female, 46-55, Financial / Banking

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