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Honestly interested or is he just leading me on?
Dating / 8:43 PM - Monday February 02, 2009

Honestly interested or is he just leading me on?

So I've been seeing this guy for almost a year now. We've been friends for 5 years, and when him and his girlfriend of a year had a major falling out(she cheated on him) we started seeing eachother(and sleeping together). I know he needs time to get over his ex girlfriend, but after a year of this non-commited kind of "relationship" which consists of seeing eachother once or twice a month and the occassional texting/phone call, I'm beggining to wonder if he is truly interested in having a relationship with me eventually or if he's just stringing me along until he finds something better. He's said multiple times that he cares about me, but that its just "not the right time" for us to be in a relationship. As of now, we're technically both single, but he gets very jealous and protective of me if I'm with other guys. I know he has trust issues, and is afraid to get into another relationship because of what his last girlfriend did to him, but I can't help but wonder if he's leading me on or not. Thoughts please??

- Asked by A Thinker, Female, 22-25

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You have allowed yourself to become a perfect FWB. And, you are being treated accordingly. That is either acceptable OR NOT.

That is completely up to you.

- Response by randyl, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Los Angeles, Technical

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Community Rating: Community Star

My husband and I were reflecting on our relationship. We met, dated and got married real quick,we have been together for 3 year now, and some of his previous relationships have been as long as 7 years. I asked why he was with his ex girlfriend for that long and if he had ever planned on marring her and he told me that he knew right away she wasn't someone he wanted to marry. So I asked again, if he knew that he wasn't going to marry her why stay and he said that when your a guy, you can't always predict when you will get booty, so if you got a stable piece of a** you stick with it. The point being, when I was single and I got bored of the guy I moved on (because I know I could fine someone new) but guys will keep girls around as long as they are getting what they want.

- Response by swimchicke, A Creative, Female, 29-35, Sacramento

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It sounds like your bf is seeking comfort from you while he has his eye out for "the real thing." While at the same time he is saying it is not the right time for a relationship, but then he is jealous and protective (which are other words that mean controlling).

I am sure he consciously does not think he is leading you on, but his actions speak louder than his words.

His actions are like those of a boy, when it sounds like you are looking for a man.

My suggestion is to devote your energy to finding that "man" for a LTR rather than wasting your time with a boy that doesn't know what he wants, but does know that he doesn't want you to be doing anything different. It seems when you are involved in a relationship, even a disfunctional one such as the one you have, it diverts your energy from finding the real thing. I would suggest that your intuition has told you the answer to your question and you have placed it here for confirmation. You already do know the anwer, don't talk yourself out of what is right.

- Response by doctor55, A Guy Critical, Male, 56-65, Who Cares?

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Noone would put off something that makes them feel alive because their girlfriend cheated on them. If they were in love the way i see it they would be after more of it every day, not less, ragardless of how he was treated in the past. If being with youmade him feel happy and inlove, then he would do more of that. My thought is he is stirnging you along and you are letting him

- Response by steff1973, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Medical / Dental

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Not sure here.. He may just need a lil more time.. Then again.. Who know how to figure out the male mind?..

- Response by stephscene75, A Life of the Party, Female, 36-45, Oklahoma City

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