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If you have a 15 y/o girl and a 14 y/o boy...
Family & Parenting / 11:56 AM - Sunday February 01, 2009

If you have a 15 y/o girl and a 14 y/o boy...

Your 15 y/o girl gets caught having sex in your house WITH you home. You obviously ground her, (not mentioning other thigns you may do,) but do you allow the 14 y/o boy to have a girl in his room under the covers together watching a movie after the incident with your 15y/o girl?

Just because the 15 y/o girl got caught should the 14 y/o boy pay for it as in not being allowed in bed under covers with a girl or 'whatever' because he wasnt the one that got caught?

Update: February 01, 2009.
This is not a hypothetical situation. My stepdads kids mother is allowing this.

- Asked by fallingalive, A Thinker, Female, 29-35

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They shouldn't be under the covers in the first place.

- Response by bikerchick1, A Life of the Party, Female, 36-45, Atlanta, Financial / Banking

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I would never, ever allow a 14 year-old to have a girl in his room let ALONE under the cover. It is completely and totally inappropriate for young teens to be doing that! If they want to watch a movie, they can do it in the family room out in the open.

- Response by myndseye711, A Cool Mom, Female, 29-35

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No child of mine was "ever" allowed to be in their room under the covers with the opposite sex. For "any" reason, no matter the age.

And if the two were in the bedroom, at all...the door had to be open. Period.

- Response by mamom04, A Sweet Sarah, Female, 56-65, Phoenix

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i dont have any kids yet and absolutely no way would i ever let them in the room together to begin with.

- Response by rnkatie, An Alternative Girl, Female, 36-45, Medical / Dental

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Well, no 14 yo boy and girl should be allowed to be watching movies in his room under the covers in bed together! Can't they watch the movie in the family room?

- Response by hulagirl55, A Sportif, Female, Who Cares?, Who Cares?

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If they were my kids, I would have the room doors opened and no boys in the girl's room or girls in the boy's room.
Parents are asking for trouble to this hypothetical question.

- Response by amandasboy, A Father Figure, Male, 66 or older, Atlanta, Retired

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They're both so young, and I've always hated the double-standard that boys can get away with more than girls can.

The 14 year old boy hasn't done anything wrong, although I suspect he's probably done stuff with his gf that you don't know about. I think it's more about respecting your space. Have The Talk with both of them separately, then allow the boy some liberties until he maybe breaches your trust.

One sibling shouldn't pay for the others mistakes, but extra caution is smart.

- Response by snafu, A Career Woman, Female, 29-35, Toronto, Financial / Banking

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Aw, c'mon. The 14 y/o boy doesn't belong under the covers with a girl, either....gimme a break.

Both situations are wrong.

Sitting on a couch and watching T.V. in the den or living room and snuggling with a blanket in plain view, is a horse of another color, but not in a bedroom...EVER.

- Response by pushkins, A Thinker, Female, 66 or older, Miami, Who Cares?

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A 14 year old boy has no business in a 15 year old girl's bedroom. A 15 year old girl has no business in a 14 year old boy's bedroom.


- Response by cubbiegal, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Chicago, Administrative

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Though many parents doubt it kids really do look to us for guidance though they would never admit it,even to themselves.If a parent says,"sure,jump in bed fact get in under the covers where we can't see what's going on" this to a kid just learning about the do's and don'ts of dating is an open invitation to try what naturally comes next.
To put it in perspective,if you were on a date with a guy you sort of knew and he invited you over to his place then said,"hey,lets jump into bed and get under the covers together" as soon as you walked in the door...what would you think was about to happen? Can you imagine what a kid brand new to dating is thinking when the parents say it's ok to do this?

- Response by justme38271, A Mr. Married Guy, Male, 46-55, Consulting

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A 14 y/o boy and a bed...under the covers.

No way now how no time. EVER! The other incident is irrelevant. Separate issue.

- Response by bookman, A Guy Critical, Male, 56-65, Who Cares?

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Teen aged kids have no business in the room of one of the opposite sex. It's asking for trouble for males or females. Make the bedrooms off-limits, all the time!

- Response by lacey07, A Life of the Party, Female, Who Cares?, Other Profession

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Regardless of what this girl has done I dont think its okay to let this boy be under the covers w/a girl. Thats very adult type behavior and I woudl say that you cant watch them ALL the time, but when they are under your roof you can!

- Response by sweetmama247, A Sweet Sarah, Female, 29-35, Buffalo, Home Maker

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I think it's irresponsible to allow kids under covers. The couch in the living room is where they should be. She needs a parenting class. I'm sure if the other girls parents found out they would be pissed.

- Response by jessie2265, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Medical / Dental

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That is interesting... *shrugs* I didn't date at that age so I can't what iw ould do or anything.

They shouldn't be in their bedroom with doors close at all in my mind though. The family room should be used for that. I don't have an issue with them being under the covers because I have to trust the kids at some point in time but out in the public its much easier to catch them:P

- Response by hockeykid666, A Guy Critical, Male, 26-28, Toronto, Student

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That's just extremely naive to think the other child will not be up to something.

It should be fairly obvious that there is a lack of parenting going on if the daughter was having sex in their own room, so I suppose it shouldn't be too shocking that they would be so oblivious with their son.

- Response by smtmsalwys, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Indianapolis, Home Maker

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i think that is bs the 14 yo boy should be in the same situation no matter who got caught he shouldnt be allowed to be under the covers with a girl but thats just my opinion

- Response by angelglow, A Sportif, Female, 22-25, San Antonio, Student

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I don't think that a child, boy or girl, under the age of 16, should have an 'option' of being alone in a bedroom under the covers without adult supervision...that's just giving the children the opportunity to try to be sneaky and see how much they can get away shouldn't matter whether they can be trusted or not, the fact is that children who are usually this young, are often 'lured' by their curiosities and that in itself should be enough to warrant not having the door closed or being under the fact, I wouldn't allow a boy in my 14 year old daughter's room unless the door was open and they were nowhere near the bed...:D

- Response by fastball, A Cool Mom, Female, 36-45, Edmonton, Self-Employed

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To be truthful I would not allow either.Neither age is old enough to allow them to have their boyfriends or girlfriends in their bedrooms.That 14 year old is going to knock someone up before your friend knows it.And that 15 year old is going to get knocked.Both have the lack of education on this type of thing. :)

- Response by roanna, A Hippie Chick, Female, 56-65, Self-Employed

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My sister has an open door rule and it seems to work. When ever they have a friend over their bedroom door must be kept open.

- Response by anny, A Cool Mom, Female, 36-45, Detroit, Who Cares?

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The rules for him should have nothing to do with what his sister did.
But the rules should have been changed irregardless.

- Response by jjcabin, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 46-55, Washington, DC, Technical

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Oh wow my parents would have NEVER let me under the covers with a guy at 15, let alone even in my room! And I won't allow it for my kids either.

You may think it's not "fair" to "punish" him for what she did... but he will most likely start doing the same things as well if he's allowed to.

- Response by mousepad, A Creative, Female, 26-28, Student

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So wrong, asking for disaster. No one should be under the covers together.

- Response by dotherighthing, A Creative, Female, 46-55, Managerial

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Two wrongs RARELY makes a right. No, it's not right for any teenager to have a person of the opposite sex in their room, in their bed, under the covers. They are just opening the door for teenage pregnancy and hurt. That's putting children in adult situations, which I would never condone....ever. Does your stepdad's kids know that this is happening under his roof? Maybe he should know.

- Response by rhunt0210, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 46-55, Other Profession

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In my house we weren't allowed to have members of the opposite sex in our bedroom with the door closed. No way in hell I would allow any teens to watch a movie under the covers in their room.

- Response by tnix123, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 36-45, New York, Managerial

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Gee, it's not like the 14 y/o is having sex. He's just fingering the girl while she jerks him off.

- Response by A Rebel, Male, 46-55, Las Vegas, Celebrity

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