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Do cheaters become jealous?
Dating / 4:44 PM - Saturday January 31, 2009

Do cheaters become jealous?

When a person cheats on their bf/gf .. and is forgiven for what they've done, I've noticed that they become MAD jealous. I've had an ex cheat on me.. and then once I forgave him, he got jealous of me hanging out with my friends. It's happened to a couple of my friends too. Do they get jealous and overprotective because they think we're going to do what they did to us? Do cheaters have a right to get jealous?

- Asked by luluxx18, A Creative, Female, 22-25, Toronto, Student

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They all get like that because they know how easy it is to get away with it. And no, they do NOT have the right to get jealous! They're the ones that did something wrong and you should not be punished for it! That's why I don't forgive cheaters.

- Response by Di0910, A Life of the Party, Female, 29-35, Dallas, Medical / Dental

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A guilty mind projects itself onto others around them. Caught or not, they nearly all become suspicious of others, consciously or subconsciously.

- Response by blueyedame, A Creative, Female, 46-55, Indianapolis, Who Cares?

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They have no right to be jealous at all..Usually they are though because they know how easy it is for them to cheat so they're constantly worried about their s/o cheating...& sometimes get scared that you'll go for a 'bay back'..but they have no right to act jealous..its immaturity

- Response by dragonflyfairie, A Hippie Chick, Female, 29-35, Other Profession

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My ex used to be insanely jealous of anyone who talked to me or diverted my attention from him...yes, he cheated, often.
It's a psychological phenomenon known as transference I was once told.


- Response by A Married Girl, Female, 56-65, Artist / Musician / Writer

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sounds to me like a bit of controlling on the cheaters part.


- Response by amandasboy, A Father Figure, Male, Who Cares?, Other Profession

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That is why it is always best to dump a cheater, not "forgive" them. The relationship will never be right again. It was messed up in some way to begin with, which is why the person cheated.

- Response by msheartbeat, A Trendsetter, Female, 36-45, San Francisco, Self-Employed

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This is common...it's called projection.

He'll either accuse or suspect you of cheating on him, because this is what he did to you.

- Response by piscesrising, A Thinker, Female, Who Cares?, Boston, Internet / New Media

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Cheaters definitely SHOULD not become possessive or jealous, but they DO...they feel that you'll do the same to THEM as they did to YOU. And when you're still young and wet between the years, their male ego kicks in and their immaturity shows.

- Response by pushkins, A Thinker, Female, 66 or older, Miami, Who Cares?

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I think what your saying in most cases is true. I have noticed, well i have experienced in my past ~ I lived with a man for about 2 years, dated 2 years before moving in with him and really thought that I was going to marry this man.......
Well, whenever I would go out with my friends (always invited him but he had no interest in going out with me and my friends and always worked-he was on call and drove a tow truck so he had to stay close to home) he would accuse me of cheating on him constantly! A few times I would wake up from having a bad dream and I would tell him about the dream which was that he had cheated on me with some blond haired girl...he would laugh it off and say "yeah right" and jokingly say your the one that has cheated on me and that is your guilt coming out! Well, this went on for a couple of months and then finally he came home and told me that he had gotten somebody pregnant and of course we both knew that "somebody" was not me!!! He was cheating on me with some bimbo that chased his ass for 4 years......and it killed me when I saw what she looked like too, she had a crater face and was about 30 lbs overweight.....geez, talk about ruining my self esteem.
Anyway, answer to your Question ~ CHEATERS DO NOT HAVE THE RIGHT TO BE JEALOUS JUST BECAUSE OF THEIR GUILTY PAST!!!!
:o) have a great weekend!

- Response by lam0366, A Sweet Sarah, Female, 46-55, Administrative

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Most people expect others to act as they would act. People who lie expect everyone else to lie. Honest people trust others. People who cheat expect others to cheat. People use themselves as a model for what they think someone else would do.

- Response by greenwind, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 56-65, Construction

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I'm probably screwing myself over with this answer but oh well. I cheated on my husband.... we were having problems at the time and one day things went too far with a guy i worked with. I confessed to it almost imediately and he forgave me. We started communicating more and working out the problems we had been having before the incident. BUT... yes i started to get suspisious of anything he would do... it didn't help me any that he had more female friends than guy friends. I would check his phone#s, his texts, even his emails. I am aware of the fact that i had no right to be that way but knowing how things happen i just couldn't help but be insecure. He never knew about me doing any of these things... i always kept it to myself the best i could. Till one day i found something that i knew i was going to find eventually.... he was getting his revenge with some woman he met online. So yea cheaters get insecure, EVEN if we have no right to. But to be honest, YOU PEOPLE, have no right to judge anyone without a full story.

- Response by freethinker09, A Married Girl, Female, 26-28, Home Maker

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People don't get it... I have cheated (wouldn't do it again) and have been cheated on, many times! But I have never become smothering or jealous in ANY of that time. When I cheated, I was forgiven. And When cheated on (by the same woman BTW) I forgave! And our relationship lasted 3 years! Since, I have been cheated on again. My reaction was the same "Once forgiven, Twice forgotten" (as in I forgive once, but the second time, I'll forget you even exist) and now we are to be wed! she loves me, I love her. and jealousy is non existent, aside from the fact that we are separated by 4000 Miles and a border, we are Happy!

- Response by A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 26-28, Other Profession

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People don't get it... I have cheated (wouldn't do it again) and have been cheated on, many times! But I have never become smothering or jealous in ANY of that time. When I cheated, I was forgiven. And When cheated on (by the same woman BTW) I forgave! And our relationship lasted 3 years! Since, I have been cheated on again. My reaction was the same "Once forgiven, Twice forgotten" (as in I forgive once, but the second time, I'll forget you even exist) and now we are to be wed! she loves me, I love her. and jealousy is non existent, aside from the fact that we are separated by 4000 Miles and a border, we are Happy!

- Response by knudle, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 26-28, Other Profession

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