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What if you are attracted to your daughters boyfriend and he feels the same
Dating / 9:26 AM - Wednesday January 28, 2009

what if you are attracted to your daughters boyfriend and he feels the same

went out with him and his friend his gfriend didnt go, and there was alot of flirting going on

- Asked by Female, 36-45

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that's just dirty.

- Response by easyjolene, A Sweet Sarah, Female, 36-45, Who Cares?

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Community Rating: Community Star

"Next season on Jerry Springer".....

- Response by bikerchick1, A Life of the Party, Female, 36-45, Atlanta, Financial / Banking

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I think if you love your daughter then you stay away from her boyfriend no matter what, there are other men out there. When they break up, if you still want him, then go for it, but never hurt your daughter for a man.

- Response by avalon24, An Alternative Girl, Female, 29-35, St.Louis, Medical / Dental

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well if that was the case,he obviously doesn't care for her much which is sad.I think I would just back off,because if you pursue this, you will find your daughter losing so much respect with you.So,basically what I am saying is this is a NO NO!

- Response by honeywillow, A Life of the Party, Female, 46-55, Edmonton, Who Cares?

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I'm in the same age group as you & have a 19 yr old son....And not that I wouldn't/couldn't be attracted to them but I can't imagine ever crossing the line with one of his friends. My relationship with my son is 1000000000000 times more important than a fling & what that may amount into.

Now if it was some random guy the same age as my son, I may act on my impulse. ;) After all, I am a woman with needs!

- Response by fbomb101, A Life of the Party, Female, 36-45, Boston, Managerial

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I'm sorry, that is just so wrong on so many levels. DO NOT GO THERE.

- Response by carinabay, A Cool Mom, Female, 46-55, Lawyer

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I used to be very attracted to my best friend's husband but I NEVER EVER EVER in a million years would have let him know it. You just make a decision not to go there and you DON'T GO THERE! Period! You can't always help it if you are attracted someone but you ARE in control of your actions. You draw a line and you don't cross it!! Shame on you! You should have never put yourself in that position.

- Response by floridagirl, An Alternative Girl, Female, 36-45, Other Profession

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LOL.....nice deflection there, referring to YOUR daughter as 'HIS girlfriend'.....

Both of you must really hate your daughter on a subliminal, if not on a right out level....

- Response by selectivegirlsdna, An Alternative Girl, Female, 46-55, Montreal, Managerial

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i'd say you need to grow up and stay away from him before you damage your relationship with your daughter.

i mean seriously, you need to ASK about this?

- Response by weekendbrew, A Jock, Male, 29-35, Miami, Technical

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Well you must be a lonely person to put your relationship with her at such a high risk.

- Response by croft1423, A Sportif, Female, 26-28, Student

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Well seeing as you are the adult here, or maybe your daughter is an adult too, not sure, but in any case you are her mother and in the end mothers are not suppose to hurt their children and seeing as this is her bf if you pursue this attraction you will devastate your daughter. Can you live with that? I know as a mom I couldn't no matter how old my child might be.

- Response by kdtxchic30, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Who Cares?

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Mom and daughter can not and should not be lovers to the same person. It is in no case less than incest.

But I suppose you love your daughter very much. So daughter's boyfriend or husband also deserves and expects motherly love and affection from your side. You may shower your love to him. But you have to sublimate and channelise your love in the right direction. It is possible. Just do it. Then you will not regret your attraction towards him. Rather you will gain immense love, affection and respect both from your daughter and his boy.

- Response by counsellor, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 66 or older, Delhi, Self-Employed

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How would you feel if your daughter posted that she and her mom's boyfriend have a thing for each other and were flirting behind her back? Some things are just wrong, ya know?


- Response by uniquelyme2, A Creative, Female, 46-55, Artist / Musician / Writer

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I'm sure you realize that this is not the way to go.....think about what your going to be doing to your daughter!

- Response by loseing, A Guy Critical, Male, Who Cares?, Who Cares?

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And by his girlfriend, you mean your daughter, right?

You seem a lot detached and dis-associated......... ........

Casey Anthony was verty "detached" from her daughter............

Casey Anthony dis-associated herself from her daughter.........



- Response by hooker, A Life of the Party, Female, 36-45, New Orleans, Retired

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God, or our good senses, tells us that it's improper to act on your feelings that would hurt someone that you love. Nobody should ever get in between the love you share with your daughter. But say that you do act. Do you ever expect your daughter to feel love towards you again? Would your family and friends lose their trust for you? And is it worth it?

- Response by rhunt0210, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 46-55, Other Profession

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i cant imagine my mom and my boyfriend being attracted to each other(that just dirty) and definately your daughter is not thinking about it either;so for you and your daugter sake stay faraway from her bf cause you not only going to hurt her but she'll loose respect for you.

- Response by magdik, A Thinker, Female, 26-28, Johannesburg, Science / Engineering

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Ok, so here goes. My mom and my children's father have the weirdest relationship ever. I swear my mom wants my ex. And that just grosses me out. I think that would cause a HUGE rift in your relationship with your daughter. If you love your daughter, stay away from her man. Find your own. Or date one of his friends, if its the young guy that you want.

- Response by countrygirl1008, An Alternative Girl, Female, 29-35, Retail

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How does your daughter feel about that.

- Response by hands, A Creative, Male, 46-55, Hong Kong, Who Cares?

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I wonder why a woman of our age would want to hang out with boys that much younger. Maybe we're trying to recapture our youth? If you are attracted to your daughters bf, for gods sake do not act on it.

- Response by ajeepgirl67, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Medical / Dental

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First off, what were u doing OUT with ur daughter's man & his friends?
Anyone can be attracted to anyone but you can control your actions.
I've been attracted to a friend's bf, my father's best friend & even a cousin! But of course I STAYED AWAY because I know it was not right.
She's your baby, how could u hurt her like that?
I would never trust u if i was your daughter.
Find someone else...you're not in love, just attracted to him....find someone else.

- Response by mstoronto, A Trendsetter, Female, 22-25

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if my mother ever went out with my man and his friends and i wasnt able to attend, thatd be really kinda messed up,, why would you even think of him in those terms, for all you know he could be your future son in law! wtf is wrong with people these days? why would the thought of hooking up with your daughters bf even cross your mind? i suggest counseling!

- Response by princesskayrae, A Thinker, Female, 29-35

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If you love your daughter she should be able to trust you vice versa. Would you want her to hit on one of your boyfriends. It is all about respect and boundaries...don't go there! Blood is thicker than water...men come and go, but you don't want to lose the love and friendship of your daughter...

- Response by kira85, A Sweet Sarah, Female, 29-35, Dallas, Financial / Banking

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Find your own youngie....

- Response by king313, An Engaged Guy, Male, 29-35, Detroit, Civil Service

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Sorry to be this blune - but that would be pathetic and so is the boyfriend...and what better way to permanently damage a blood relationship with your daughter over a piece of ass.

- Response by clip22, A Career Woman, Female, 36-45, Executive

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Sorry to be this blune - but that would be pathetic and so is the boyfriend...and what better way to permanently damage a blood relationship with your daughter over a piece of ass.

- Response by clip22, A Career Woman, Female, 36-45, Executive

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Sorry to be this blune - but that would be pathetic and so is the boyfriend...and what better way to permanently damage a blood relationship with your daughter over a piece of ass.

- Response by clip22, A Career Woman, Female, 36-45, Executive

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you really do need therapy if you are talking abt urself!!?
She really is your daughter right? No person in the right mind would do that to her daughter. Just the fact that she is us daughters boy friend and you like her should make you despise yourself without other people's opinion.

- Response by cuteartist0212, An Alternative Girl, Female, 26-28, Delhi, Artist / Musician / Writer

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You need to stay away from him...if you think he is attracted to you as well especially, you may be drawn to the attention from a guy that would also find your young daugher attractive because it boosts your self-esteem, but at the cost of your daughter? Why are you going out with him without her there anyway? You need to spend time with people your age, think of how old you were when he was 5...that should gross you out enough to let this go!

- Response by An Engaged Girl, Female, 29-35, San Francisco, Law Enforcement

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I don't understand as a mother why you would even consider that, and why were you hanging out with him in the first place? That's basically just pathetic and I think your daughter deserves a lot better from the both of you.

- Response by A Thinker, Female, 22-25, Denver

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No, no , no , no , no. What mother would put her daughter through the heartache of a break up? For what... a flash in the pan fling. Give this one up fast.

- Response by caitlinkel01, A Trendsetter, Female, 29-35, Vancouver, Who Cares?

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Well if you are prepared for the consequences when your daughter finds out what is going on then I guess it's okay. Your daughter will be very hurt by your betrayal and if you go to sleep every night with that on your conscious then you're good.

- Response by cocoacurevelous, A Hip Hop Girl, Female, 46-55, Administrative

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He's with your daughter, leave it at that. Your daughter will be hurt if anything happens between the two of you.

- Response by happygolcky, A Sweet Sarah, Female, 36-45, Chicago, Medical / Dental

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If that were the case, I would much rather take an arm or leg off my body than to hurt my daughter by trying to 'steal' a man from her...besides, if my daughter's dating him, he's clearly too young for me...:D

- Response by fastball, A Cool Mom, Female, 36-45, Edmonton, Self-Employed

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I wouldn't think that was exceptable behavior. If I did have a daughter a would a mother. I would either be pro or con her relatonship with him. I would never let myself become attracted to him, if for some strangley odd reason that did happen, I would never act upon it. And I would not hang out with people young enough to be my daughter's friends. Therfore the situation would probably never even occur.

- Response by blakrose08, A Thinker, Female, 22-25, Who Cares?

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I think this is SOOOO WRONG on soo many levels!! First of all, I would imagine your daughter would feel very betrayed if and when she finds out. I think that is a point of no return with you and your daughter's boyfriend, you both would probably lose a significant relationship with your daughter.

- Response by southernblkgurl08, A Sportif, Female, 22-25, Student

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thats pretty wrong.
dont make the biggest mistake with your daughter.
she'll probably hate you forever.
just dont do it.

- Response by An Engaged Girl, Female, 22-25, San Jose, Student

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I bet that your daughter would be delighted to know that her "mother" is interested in her boyfriend ......... nice!!!

Lady W*


- Response by ladywisteria, A Sweet Sarah, Female, Who Cares?, Who Cares?

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Do not go that route. Your daughter is more important than a man and it would hurt and embarass her as well. So if you want your daughter to trust you don't even think of it.

- Response by leigh29407, A Hippie Chick, Female, 29-35, San Diego, Who Cares?

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...please get some self-esteem..you're not "hot" anymore..just face it..you really need to grow-up and be a woman.

- Response by michellekia, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, St.Louis, Other Profession

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There is nothing you can do, its your DAUGHTERS bf, that is no go territory. Sorry

- Response by A Life of the Party, Female, 26-28, Edmonton, Student

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I know a woman who actually had sex on 2 occasions with her daughters BF. I think that is so f'd up!! She must really have a block of ice for a heart.. how could she do such a thing to her own daughter? Sick, just sick.

- Response by rhonda35, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Who Cares?

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I don't think I really need to say anything since it appears the other respondents have said it well enough...

...but I must ask one thing. What the hell were you doing out with your daughter's boyfriend?! Are you out of your mind?! If my mom did that to me...if she even thought of it...that would be grounds for me to never speak to her again. So if your daughter is important to you I say forget about the boy. I honestly think you both should if he is attracted to you as you say. But if you really want a younger boy then don't date someone your daughter is dating...that isn't right. Imagine this: If you're ever in bed with one of her boyfriends and you guys do the hanky panky then just imagine that you slept with everyone else that he has slept with as well...which may include your daughter.

- Response by iceangel2308, A Sweet Sarah, Female, 26-28, Food Service

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Finding yourself attracted to someone is not a crime, regardless of who they are. Acting on those feelings is a different story. If you are flirting with this guy, then you have crossed the line in a big way. I suggest you cease this behavior at once before you really open a can of worms.

- Response by hearmenow, A Guy Critical, Male, 56-65, Other Profession

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Don't go there! I would be absolutely crushed if my mother went around with my boyfriend. It would be bad enough to have my boyfriend cheat on me, but if he cheated on me with my mother?! Gah, I can't even imagine what kind of emotional trauma that would cause. The best thing that you can do here is to just lose the idea completely... and also you should probably warn your daughter about what kind of a guy her bf is, that way she won't be hurt by him later on.

- Response by A Hippie Chick, Female, 22-25, St.Louis, Student

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i hope your daughter is old enough to take care of herself and not need you for anything in her life, cause if you were my mom you'd be done! tramp!

- Response by jojo914, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Who Cares?

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