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Why does a guy text/talk for hours then drop off the face of the earth?
Dating / 8:21 PM - Sunday January 25, 2009

why does a guy text/talk for hours then drop off the face of the earth?

I had a class with this really great looking guy. I was majorly in love with my b/f at the time and so every advance the guy made (including moving his seat next to mine, i just kind of ignored). After the class was over i kept thinking about the guy and really just wanted to get to know him better so i found out his name from the teacher and then sent him an email.

he was very happy and that night, we proceeded to text for 3 hours back and forth. we made plans to meet up in the library at class the next day.

so at the library, we talked for 3 hours in person with no awkwardness at all. it was very very pleasant. I asked him if he wanted me to call him later and he said yea just give me a call. (I didn't call but i fell asleep so but i let him know and the next day texted him and asked him if he wanted to go out friday.) i did this on wed.

well i phrased it are you working friday, he said no why? I said do you want to go out and he said that his rehearsal didn't get out till 12 ( which I knew about already). so I sent him another message that said thats fine if you want to you can meet us there, but it wont be free.

so anyways...I have gotten nothing since then. on thursday night I actually went out with some g/f's totally unplanned and he had told me it was his b-day on thurs. in the library. so during the day i said happy b-day! then later at night i told him i would be d-town at this bar if he wanted to meet up (again all through text) so after still hearing nothing from him, i sent him another text that said am i gonna see the b-day boy tonight? and still NO ANSWER??!?!?!?!

so, today I was just like well maybe he was really busy and tired it was his b-day...so i sent him a text today simply asking, what are you doing thursday about an hour ago and still no response. he also didn't approve my friend request on f-book he denied it....

can someone tell me WTF is going on?? I mean he was into me then all of a sudden nothing. he does have a g/f but i have a b/f and i am just looking for friendship. I am just trying to figure out wtf I did wrong...lol any help would be great.

Update: January 26, 2009.
Oh hey one more thing to everyone who read my original post, when i first met him/ saw him i was single, my guy and i were having problems. We are together now. I just haven't had a guy friend in such a long time that now that i met someone that I can actually talk to about my man/get perspective/talk about music etc...its is fantastic!! and to all of you who think this is behind my man's back, it isn't I told my b/f about this guy and even invited him out with us to his next concert. If anything did develop past friendship, I would break up with my guy but that is not likely as I could see myself marrying the man I am with now. I think when your with someone long term, a little flirtation now and then is good because it confirms what you already have. Space is good in a relationship...so having a guy friend who has a g/f is a good thing. it means hands off and vice versa. Anyways...guys and girls can be just friends =]

Update: January 26, 2009.
hey everyone!! he messaged me back last night and he wants to get together. He said he had a crazy b-day and he had no idea what happened to his phone. He replaced it yesterday and when i texted him , just a hey whats up, what are you doing thursday, he responded with who is this i had to replace my phone no #'s, =[ . I didn't get the text right away so then he texted back my name..and I was like yes...and he goes why didn't you tell me it was you what are you doing tonight?? lol..so i guess it pays to be patient...and he was thinking of me haha...cuz i didn't tell him who i was and he just picked a name =] anyways...thanks to all who replied!!

- Asked by asn0517, A Life of the Party, Female, 26-28, Atlanta, Retail

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Sorry, right now you want to tell yourself that it is "friendship" only, but you know you want more than that. He's being fair to his g/f, respect that. Maybe you should be fair to the one who you are "majorly in love with", or did those feelings change with this "friend" ?

Hands off until the two of you dissolve your current relationships. Would you approve of your BF if he was talking to another girl with the intention of more than friendship? Time to start thinking about that. Being cheated on sucks.

- Response by wildbelle, A Thinker, Female, 22-25, Pittsburgh, Food Service

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Community Rating: Community Star

Be very careful about asking and how you ask. He may be ill, may have had a death in the family or bad news in the family. He may have lost his cell phone or had it canceled for overdue payment.

On the facebook issue, don't despair. To a great many people, that is a very personal thing and everyone has their own idea of what criteria they follow before they add someone. After all, you know he has a girlfriend and she may need him more than usual lately. Perhaps she is the jealous type.

- Response by agesago, A Cool Mom, Female, 56-65, Transportation

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Well, frankly I'm not convinced that your only desire is to be pals with this dude. Your first sentence was about his physical appearance; not his intelligence, decency, humor, etc.). Is being "great-looking" at the top of your list of friendship requirements? Hmmm

My guess is that this guy noticed in the three hour face-to-face and back-and-forth texting what I noticed in the single minute of reading this post. You're not coming from a platonic place of mind and that means big trouble for two people who are in relationships. He flirted a bit with you in class and you took it way beyond a bit of flirtation with all the texting and social invites. He had a wake-up call, an "oh sh*t" moment, (whatever) and decided that communicating with you was a bad idea.

Let it go.


- Response by surrealoptimism, A Creative, Female, 29-35

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most logical answer is you became boring and or annoying.

- Response by A Guy Critical, Male, 46-55

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Trust me when I say this...... Too much is too much! You should have left alone after the first text and let him respond, your coming across as a psycho and it turned him off.

- Response by A Creative, Female, 36-45, Columbus

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