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Active Questions

How do I deal with co-workers when they spread rumors about me and pretend to be my friend.
Career / 1:59 PM - Sunday January 25, 2009

How do I deal with co-workers when they spread rumors about me and pretend to be my friend.

My boss does not believe them but this has gone on for a while. They think they are better then everyone else and talk about each other also.

- Asked by truefan, A Thinker, Female, 36-45

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Make a written complaint and be prepared to back it up to your HR Department or Office Manager and demand a resolve. Do not respond to them but don't tolerate it. This is what is called a hostile work environment in which your employer could be held accountable for failing to respond to. Put it in writing and let them know you're serious. It's unprofessional and needs to be nipped in the bud.

- Response by meandmrjones, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Who Cares?

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Community Rating: Community Star

be nice to them and let the water roll off your back..if the allegations are not true. the more you try to displace them the more people will believe the rumors are true.
it is hard to do, but it should work.

- Response by amandasboy, A Father Figure, Male, 66 or older, Atlanta, Retired

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Thats haters for you. Jealousy goes along way. Just smile and nod talk work relative stuff and thats it cause its never going to stop. As long as you do your 8 hours and do your job then f*#k everybody else. I've gone through that and thats the only way they noticed that I really didn't care about their lies about me and they actually stopped.

- Response by phatmama2003, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Boston, Who Cares?

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When you are with them just look them in the eyes and say I am aware of all those rumors and walk on. That should set them Back a few paces.Why pretend.

- Response by frenchkiss49, A Thinker, Female, 66 or older, Tampa, Who Cares?

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Next time they pretended to be my friend I'd politely say "I know you are starting rumors about me, and backstabbing me to the boss. Please don't insult my intelligence by pretending to be my friend." And then walk away.

- Response by justpassingthru, A Thinker, Female, 56-65, Financial / Banking

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If your boss is not believing them then that is the best you can hope for.

Ignore them and their childish behavior. You continuo with your work as professionally as you can. Your boss sees this. You can't make someone not talk about you. If you do, you play down to their level. They are happy because they got a response out of you. The best thing is to ignore them. Ignoring them really irks them and is the best comeback.

- Response by cosmicdog0, A Guy Critical, Male, 56-65, Denver, Science / Engineering

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Rise above the childish banter and gossip mongers there, they obviously have little sensible things to talk about, and have equally shallow lives.

- Response by puniksem, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 46-55, London, Consulting

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First of all they are NOT ur friends, u need to distingush that.
Let them believe whatever they want, if they think they are superior, well so be it.. Maybe in their world, they are:-)

- Response by spitfire815, A Hippie Chick, Female, 66 or older, Who Cares?

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I would try to ignore them and just focus as much as you can on the job.

- Response by sweetmama247, A Sweet Sarah, Female, 29-35, Buffalo, Home Maker

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