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Why do guys always say, "you deserve much better" or "you are too good for me"?
Dating / 10:55 AM - Tuesday January 20, 2009

Why do guys always say, "you deserve much better" or "you are too good for me"?

I dated a guy for a while and he would always ask why I was with him because I, "deserved so much better" or that I was "too good for him". I never understood it! And still DON'T!!! And he would only say, "Im sorry!" When I asked him why he said it and what he meant by it! What does this mean?!

- Asked by A Life of the Party, Female, 26-28

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It means he's being polite and not saying what he really thinks about you.

- Response by greenwind, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 56-65, Construction

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Community Rating: Community Star

we do it for the attention - my friend said that to his gf once, and I smacked him in the shoulder be being an idiot....its just that pathetic...

- Response by rollinhigheh, A Life of the Party, Male, 36-45, Who Cares?

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A. He is stupid
B. He has low self-esteem
C. He is not into you

Could be all of above.

- Response by joshknight, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 36-45, Chicago

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The guy has some issues.only he knows what.Did he broke up with you?he said it probably just to make you feel better.don't worry hun,maybe it wasn't meant to be and you'll meet someone better.


- Response by dollface428, A Thinker, Female, 29-35, Artist / Musician / Writer

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I have read here, and other places that it means that hes letting you down gently.
When you really look into the words..they have alot of meaning..
Its basically a kinder way of saying that your not compatible..
Hes just trying to be nice, and doesnt want to be hurtful.
The phrase always keeps us wondering tho doesnt?

- Response by surfsup, A Career Woman, Female, 46-55, Self-Employed

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if he's been doing this since you got together then he's fishing for complements, he wants you to respond with "oh no baby you are the best thing thats happen to me" it's just reassurance to his insecurities and low self-esteem. maybe he was brought up to think he doesn't deserve anything.

Now if he just barely started saying that out of the blue. I would say that is guilt building up...


"Good Luck"

- Response by aon007, A Guy Critical, Male, 29-35, Salt Lake City, Science / Engineering

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Sweet one I can't answer for him but in general i'm going to tell you a short story. My cousin told me once that everyday of his life he wishes he could leave his wife, he would go on to say "you know leave a note you're too good for me, I don't deserve you,etc. Now if you're still with this guy and he treats you good and sex is good, it may just be words. On the other hand if he wants to leave you he don't want to break your heart in the process. Only you can answer what I just told you. Please keep me informed with anything new, i'm sure I can help you understand.

- Response by cobanlacepc, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 46-55, Pittsburgh, Who Cares?

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It means he does not want to feel like a shit breaking up with you, and wants you to think he thinks your too good for him.

- Response by wolverinesegg, A Career Man, Male, 46-55, Science / Engineering

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Usually it's about crappy self esteem and lack of confidence.
The internet is flooded these days with dating gurus who want to help chodes like that.

- Response by creepyolderguy, A Player, Male, 56-65, Medical / Dental

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if someone genuinely feels this way, then, trust me, theyre not going to be TELLING you. instead, theyre going to do whatever work they have to do on the deficits they have that stand in the way of being the type of partner they feel they should be.
when theyre TELLING you all this,thats usally a preclusion that youre about to get dumped. and, hopefully for them, not even that. theyre hoping that youll simply quietly go away.

but i think you already know what i means. you're simply dreading what you KNOW is coming. but lets do a reality check here. youre asking the wrong question here. stop asking "what does this mean?" start asking yourself "what does it mean when hes saying one thing one thing when hes actually hoping for another?" by painting an undesirable picture of himself, hes trying to get YOU to do the heavy lifting. NOW ask yourself THIS question. "what does this tell me about his character?"if you have your wits about you, and any form of self-respect, it should tell you two things. one, theres a chronic dishonesty at the root of his character.secondly, that hes a coward.

last,but not least, what should the biggie be that you should be asking yourself here at this point? was it by chance, "DO I REALLY WANT TO BE WITH A MAN LIKE THAT?" if it was, good girl. i think you get the picture. good luck and God bless

- Response by u2joshuadesireu, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Medical / Dental

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