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I've fallen in love with a married woman who has 3 little girls...
Sex & Intimacy / 11:01 AM - Sunday January 11, 2009

I've fallen in love with a married woman who has 3 little girls...

Two months ago I met a lady with three little girls, ages 9, 11, and 13. She is married but tells me she wants a divorce. Apparently her husband tells her that she will never attrack anyone because she has 3 kids. Her economic means are modest and she tells me that with me in her life she has the opportunity to have everything she ever wanted but couldn't afford. I realize that my economic situation is better for her and I'm okay with it. I believe she loves me as much as I love her and would give the world on a string. She tells me to give her a little bit of time to get the divorce resolved. I want her in my life along with the whole package. I truly desire to make a life with her and her children. Any advice? Thanks!

- Asked by omontecristo, A Career Man, Male, 29-35, Philadelphia, Medical / Dental

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You need to let her finish up her business with her divorce if you want the relationship between the two of you to have a fighting chance. Having 3 kids, is a lot of baggage, plus makes for a messy divorce.

Kudos to you for taking on a woman with so much....I have a lot of respect for men that are able to do that.....

Just be careful. You feelings are at stake. Be sure she is serious about the divorce. Sometimes married people say one thing and do another. If I were you, I wouldn't wait around forever to see if she is ever gonna do it. You deserve to have someone all to yourself....everyone does.

good luck :)

- Response by bnicoleb, A Creative, Female, 29-35, Financial / Banking

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If I read this right she is not even seperated.
She needs to take that first step.
I have loved several women in the process of a divorce.
It is a complicated thing and requires allot from you.
If she really wants out, she needs to seperate from her husband and GET HER OWN PLACE.
You can date, you can love her, you can support her emotionally...and you can help a little financially....
but I really do not suggest having her and the kids move in with you right off the bat.
I also do not recommend that you pay for her place entirely...she needs to be able to develope a sense of her own personal worth and her ability to take care of her kids.
She and her daughters have some adjustments to make in their lives "without dad" before they are ready for you to come in as the new dad.
Her life is so complex that her heart is all over the map. The hero you are today may not be what you are to her always.
She needs to get out on her own as a single mom for abit and make sure that she really does love you.
I feel for you...I have been the kid who got hurt...and I have been the man who loved my gal and her kids through a divorce.
I even paid for the divorce. For us the romance did not work out, but we remain friends...it could be different for you.

- Response by sirkermittsg, A Guy Critical, Male, 36-45, Dallas, Transportation

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I'd be careful.....wanting to end her marriage and asking you to hold on, is hard...but for the purpose that you have enough to take care of her and her 3 girls...Its not all that easy! I'm engaged, with 1 daughter....and we have our times that are tough, her accepting my fiance...etc. It can be straining. Imagine w/3. Also....money is not the reason to move on in a relationship with someone. There has to be more to it than that, like love, companionship, etc....... Without these.....your really not gonna have a very good relationship at all.

- Response by lam0366, A Sweet Sarah, Female, 46-55, Administrative

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Stay away. She's married. Wait until she's legally free. A divorced person rarely ends up with the person he/she cheats with.

You're hearing the same thing that many women hear from married men. Look at where they end up. No where and heart broken.

- Response by cubbiegal, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Chicago, Administrative

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We can't control who we fall in love with, it is part of our path coming from destiny...I hope she truly wants this...I have a similar situation (to a degree similar)...stick it out...if you both truly want this to happen you will work together in every way possible to make it happen. I wish you success with this...You will have to be very strong and be careful that this isn't just a game for either of you. Not many people find what they are looking for and if this is your soulmate it will happen. Best wishes

- Response by lasttrueromantic, A Creative, Female, 36-45, Teaching

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