Back to Home

Active Questions

Is it shameful to be a 22 year old virgin guy?
Sex & Intimacy / 12:17 AM - Sunday January 04, 2009

Is it shameful to be a 22 year old virgin guy?

I am a 22 year old guy who is still a virgin, and not by choice. I do go out looking for caring relationships and not sex, but the one relationship I had ended before anything could happen. As you can imagine, this is a blow to my self-esteem and I'm finding it harder and harder to remain positive. What would be the best way to regain my confidence, and do girls see an older virgin guy as a turn-off?

- Asked by A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 26-28, Cleveland, Student

Read more about the Rating System


I would probably have a problem if you were wearing a sandwich board announcing it to the world, beyond that "no" ... Virginity is far preferred to "promiscuity" in my eyes... Besides the tutorial and homework is soo much fun!

- Response by siouxzen, A Creative, Female, Who Cares?, Los Angeles, Self-Employed

Rating Received:


No,It's not shameful.It's commendable.In this day and age it's very rare but some day when you meet the rifgt girl,she and you both will be very glad and thankful that you were not likeALL THE REST. Be proud of your self .

- Response by randolph, A Mr. Married Guy, Male, 56-65, Artist / Musician / Writer

Rating Received:

Community Rating: Community Star

There is nothing wrong or shameful about being a virgin. So, the age thing doesn't really matter. Nor, what others think about it. It's what you feel. Your self-esteem would have to be low already if you're concerned with what others would think. You are doing the right thing. You want more meaning in your relationships. You want sex. But, don't rush it because you think not being a virgin will make you feel better. You're not some kind of freak because you're a virgin.

If I met a guy and he was a virgin I wouldn't judge him for it. It's up to me to teach him what I like and how to do things if need be. Everyone starts out virgins. So, every great lover had to learn. And, in order to learn you sometimes have to be taught. So, I don't know why people talk like it's such a turnoff. They were virgins once. Don't worry about others. You do what's best for you. If someone wants to look past all of the great qualities you have and your sincere heart, because all they can do is wonder how good you'll be; they don't deserve you.

- Response by thelovedovefor1, A Creative, Female, 46-55, Atlanta, Who Cares?

Rating Received:


No it's not a turn off. Nothing wrong with waiting.

- Response by cubbiegal, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Chicago, Administrative

Rating Received:


there is nothing wrong with being a virgin, & it will happen when its right..= )

- Response by dragonflyfairie, A Hippie Chick, Female, 29-35, Other Profession

Rating Received:


You registered as a "Mr Nice Guy", and that may be part of the trouble.
EVERY online pickup-artist program focuses on retraining Nice Guys into... ANYthing else is better than being a Nice Guy.
Start getting the free newsletters from people like Doubleyourdating.c om and Thedatingwizard.c om; the internet is awash with these guys, so look around.
Go to Pickupguide.c om, also Sosuave.c om/Sosuave.n et.
Just reading this stuff will be a huge boost for you.

- Response by creepyolderguy, A Player, Male, 56-65, Medical / Dental

Rating Received:


Why would your self-esteem be tied up with sexual conquest? Date...fall in and out of love a few times and learn from it.
There are just as many young woman out there who are 22 and older who have not yet had sex either, and who will NOT find it a turn-off.
Boy, I bet there will be some fireworks when you do get going! lol
Relax, be happy, it will happen when it's meant to:)

- Response by A Married Girl, Female, 56-65, Artist / Musician / Writer

Rating Received:


I can't say what girls think, but I will give my view of staying a virgin unless the girl is special.

Pros:
It is alot more special and gives sex more meaning when you save it for the girls that really matter. Sex in the view of many has became something to easily handed out and maybe it should be special, maybe not.

But I cannot argue with the fact that you saving yourself for someone you really care about is very mature and sensible. I personally belive you should have sex only with people you really care about (wish I thought that way a few years ago would have saved arguments) and if that means you are a 22 year old virgin because the right girl hasn't come along, so what? Atleast when she does come along it will be more than just sex for you.

Cons:
Now this is the reason why back in the day I used to want to have sex with loads of girls (besides the fact that sex is fun). I was petrified of finding the girl of my dreams and getting rejected for being bad in bed.

Now many girls may lie and say that if they really cared they wouldn't be bothered by bad sex. But at the start of the relationship if you are really bad they will be put off you.

That is why I tried to cram my practice in to get better before college, but looking back at it I was foolish and probably upset quite a few people.

Personally I think you are more morally right in saving yourself for someone you care about alot. But unfortunatly the world isn't always as nice in return and some girls want a man who knows what he is doing.

That said if you find a special girl that you finally want to have sex with. Odds are she probably won't care if you are bad. I have faith in the fact that because you haven't had sex untill now you wouldn't throw it away on someone who would be judgemental.

- Response by cam347, A Life of the Party, Male, 22-25, London

Rating Received:


No a guy virgin is not a turn off. My ex fiancee was a virgin at 24 and I had a 10 year relationship with him. He is still the love of my life. BTW, I was 34 when I met him--he was 24.

- Response by keldog4511, A Creative, Female, 46-55, Philadelphia, Managerial

Rating Received: