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How do you convince your spouse to clean up before sex,if they get offended by it
Sex & Intimacy / 8:36 AM - Saturday January 03, 2009

How do you convince your spouse to clean up before sex,if they get offended by it

My wife totally flips out if I ask her to clean up before sex. She works all day, has some leakage, etc. (sorry) and runs sometime at night. There is nothing sexy for me about it, im grossed out. I even started a "date night" where we would do things together then get "ready" and know we would have sex when we went to bed, but she refused to clean herself, so I quit doing it. It has turned into a big strain on our marriage and I am contemplating an affair or leaving, im only 49 and too young to go without sex.

- Asked by A Mr. Married Guy, Male, 46-55, Cleveland

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Maybe you could try having a nice bubble bath ran for her..Put some candles in the bathroom and have some music playing..
It is worth a try..she might realize how good she feels when she is clean and refreshed..


- Response by springishere, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Other Profession

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Wow, it seems you wife is opposite of most women. I've turned sex down due to the fact I didn't get the chance to shower. (always better to be safe than sorry!)

And you are right, sexual incompatabilty WILL ruin a marriage.

I'm wondering if there is a medical issue with your wife that is causing the "issues". There are times during the month that women change, but it isn't 24/7.

As much as it may hurt her, please (speaking as a woman who would want to know), TELL HER. IF she doesn't respond, then it's almost safe to say she doesn't care. At that point, you speak to her about the future of your marriage.

- Response by spiceyjoy, A Career Woman, Female, 36-45, Pittsburgh, Executive

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Holy crap! What kind of slob is she? I mean, she won't "clean up" after a days sweatiness? That's just wrong!

Maybe she's being like this because she doesn't want sex. You need to find out in detail why she is so offended and why she doesn't see that she's got a days worth of sweatiness lingering. There is a reason she's fighting you on this and it's not about not being "fresh" after a long day of having it all bound up in panties and slacks.

- Response by msadvise, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Transportation

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If she isn't decent enough to clean herself up before sex then she shouldn't ever expect sex, as you are right it is gross. I would never consider not washing if I knew I was having sex later at night.

And when you stop wanting to have sex with her as you have said two things are going to happen. You are either going to have an affair or you are going to leave her.

If she can't understand how not washing her sweaty vagina after running around allday is a turn off then she needs a wake up call. But you have already said she just flips out and refuses to listen.

All I can advise if she won't listen, is you trying something silly like not washing yourself before atall so she gets a taste of her own smelly medicine!

But it is a serious problem. She either grows up, listens to you without flipping out and does something about it. Or she watches your sex life and marriage fade away.

- Response by cam347, A Life of the Party, Male, 22-25, London

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it means shes comfortable with you and thinks you love her enough that you wont care the only time my husband asks me to clean up is when its oral and if he asked me any othertime i would be mad and just think he didnt want me enough, maybe you dont?

- Response by thinker707, A Thinker, Female, 22-25

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sorry dude, but that's just gross. What kind of woman doesn't want to clean herself for sex and for her man. eew.

- Response by A Sportif, Female, 36-45

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Suggest that you shower together and have sex in the shower.

- Response by keldog4511, A Creative, Female, 46-55, Philadelphia, Managerial

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Try to get her to have sex IN the shower. Kill two birds with one stone. Also, about the affair bit, DON'T DO IT. Either talk to her seriously about it or leave.

- Response by artistofseduction, A Creative, Female, 26-28, Toronto

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If it that bad then cast her feelings aside and tell her what you just told us. It would be better to offend her in order to save your marriage than to offend her by totally destroying your marriage with an affair. I had a girlfriend once that was less than concerned about her odor, I had to piss her off several times before it stuck but it was worth it in the end and we are still together.

- Response by dick, A Jock, Male, 29-35, Construction

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I really stand on your side. Cleanliness is SO important! You guys don't want to spread anything unsanitary when you're bumping uglies! Maybe you should just talk to her about the hygenic issues that could occur if you're having dirty sex! She needs to know that sometimes intimacy can be dangerous, ya know? Good luck.

- Response by shawnacrate23, A Creative, Female, 22-25, Student

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Face it, she doesn't want to have sex with you. She thinks by not washing herself, it will drive you away and it should. You need to tell her that if she doesn't wash her pussy, that you may find a clean one elsewhere. If she does not care, then she didn"t want you to begin with.

- Response by jerrychatt, A Guy Critical, Male, 46-55

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Yes cleaning up before sex is uber important.I have to freshen up before especially if I hadn't had a shower in the last hour or so. I carry around Lovin On the Go wipes from Swipes, they are great. There is a cuccumber scented(doesn't smell like salad!) it's a really sweet lovely smell. They are a flushable wipe so you can swipe and go!

- Response by A Creative, Female, 26-28, Los Angeles, Executive

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