Sometimes I find it incredible that two people who have been in each others' lives for so long (as you and your boyfriend have) CAN break up. Now, I know that isn't encouraging, but what I mean to say is: After a certain amount of time, that other person almost becomes a part of you. Even if they are making you furiously unhappy on a regular basis, you become so used to it that it doesn't seem worth it to walk out...You rationalize their bad behaviour, because it could always be worse, right?
For every good time, how many bad times are there? Does every high make up for (and then some) every low?
I'm thinking that the answers to similar questions have helped you come to your decision to break up with him. Now, you just need to learn to be firm in it.
The most important thing to do is to create distance. It's incredibly hard to get over someone you see all the time (my boyfriend is in my friend group and, when we were broken up for a short while, this was torture). So, do everything you can to cut him out of your day-to-day life. If he goes to your school, try hanging out in different places. If he's friends with your friends, talk to them and see if you can work out a way to keep you guys separate, even if it's just for a month or two. If you work together, ask to change shifts. Do as much as possible to get some distance while you move on.
Aside from getting distance, try writing a letter about all the bad things you feel about your relationship now, and keep it. When you're feeling tempted to get back together, read it and remember how unhappy you were. Try writing a list of all his crappy qualities, and one of all of your fantastic qualities. Remind yourself why you left and know that things will not change if you take him back.
Keep busy, take on a new hobby, a new class, get a new haircut, and, for the time being, cut him out of your life. Once you're healed, then you can consider being friends again, but for now, you need some time without him.
- Response by scar1etstar1et
, An Alternative Girl, Female, 26-28, Therapist