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How to get out of a long term relationship that's not going anywhere?
Dating / 11:35 AM - Monday December 08, 2008

How to get out of a long term relationship that's not going anywhere?

I'm posting anonymously because I've never been this honest with myself or anyone else for that matter, about my relationship. Here are the facts as I see them, I've been dating this man for 8 years and no proposal. He keeps promising and I keep believing. We have had many discussions about this and still no moving-forward just empty promises from him and blind faith on my part. I'm mad as hell at myself! I preach to my girlfriends about not letting men use them and allowing themselves to be placed in similar situations yet, I can't practice what I preach. I'm such a hypocrite! I'm too ashame to go to my friends about this so, I'm coming to you AO for help, suggestions, or personal stories. Please don't hold anything back (as usual) and be as long-winded as needed.

How to end a long term relationship when you still love this person, shared good/bad times and survived? I'm going to have "the talk" with him this week about ending the relationship and moving on. It's the best thing to do, but how do I get there? I'm such a mess! It's so nerve racking, our hearts are on the line.

I've stayed in this relationship for so long because I love him and I'm afraid. I fear loneliness, I fear hurting him and I fear dealing with all the deep emotions that comes along with a breakup. I feel quilty when I recognize that I'm not being honest with myself and thus being unfair to him.

I allowed my mind to get caught up in an idea, a vision of how something should be, and I ended up living in that fantasy instead of reality, so to speak. I repeatly play the same movie in my mind, and believe that we will be happy when our life situation matches that of the mental movies. It was easy to let my desires get in the way of reality, and I end up living in a fantasy world......until one day, I woke up. I'm just as much to blame as he is - I allowed it. An old adage that have gained credit through long use is true, "there is no fool like an old fool".

Update: December 08, 2008.
You guys are wonderful! It sucks having only three stars. It makes giving out stars extremely hard. You know, it's sad so many good relationships don't make it down the alter for one reason or another. Relationships can either elevate you to new heights or drag you down into the dumps. In any relationship, I guess, is to choose at the very least......... to achieve YOUR OWN HAPPINESS.

- Asked by Female, 46-55

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