|Dating / 11:27 AM - Friday December 05, 2008|
Should I text my ex to wish him a happy birthday?
First, let me emphasize that I do not want to get back with him. I broke up with him almost 4 weeks ago b/c he was lying to me about keeping long distance, semi-romantic contact with his ex. He sent me flowers and an apologetic letter initially asking if we could start over and work things out. Then less than 24 hours later, he sends a text wanted to know if we could just be friends. I said alright. But I didn't trust that "friendship" was all he wanted. He texted me a couple days after the break up, on a Sunday, to ask if he could come over and get some stuff he left at my apartment. I said no and offered to bring them to his job the next day. He declined my offer and said he would get them another time. He then never calls back for his things. But texts me randomly the Friday after week break up to wish me a "good weekend." I text him back saying thank you. Still he doesn't mention getting his stuff. I finally become frustrated with his possible game playing and proactively gather all his stuff and place it in a gym bag to take to his job and drop it off. But before I do this, I call him to let him know I'm coming. He tells he he's not at work, and I, without trying to make other arrangements b/c I was already at his job, told him that I was leaving it with his secretary. I reasoned that he was being avoidant/playing games since I hadn't heard anything from him about getting his stuff eventhough HE originally asked for it back when we broke up. So i drop off his stuff. He texts me "thank you." After that, I didn't hear from him again. About 2 weeks ago, I was in the gym and we were about 20 feet away from eachother. We both avoided eye contact, and went our separate ways without speaking. And lastly, neither of us contacted eachother on Thanksgiving. So, I'm wondering if I should even bother sending my ex a happy birthday text. I mean, we dated for about 3 months. For the 3 months we were together I would say that was a decent friend, but an unfit boyfriend by my standards. He said he loved me, but I know he was saying the same thing to his ex, because I actually spoke to her and she was the one that let me know he was still communicating with her. All in all, I ended it because I'm certain he's not honest or faithful when it comes to a monogamous relationship. Nevertheless, I'm wondering if I should bother texting him for his birthday (Sunday) given that we don't even speak anymore and I haven't seen him since the gym incident.
- Asked by A Thinker, Female, 29-35
Don't bother. Let the relationship go and move on. I think you both are playing a silly game of who will let go first.