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I want to be slapped around during sex...
Sex & Intimacy / 3:03 AM - Thursday November 06, 2008

I want to be slapped around during sex...

I guess I'll just spit it out...
I have recently discovered that I really want my partner to take control completely in bed at times. For the first time ever I asked him to slap me during sex. At first he just gave me a little tap and was very unsure of it but I asked him to do it harder because I really liked it.. As it continued, I asked him numerous times to keep doing it harder and harder.. This came out of no where and I'm now realizing that I really enjoy it when he "hurts" me during sex. I asked him to put his hand around my throat and slap me.. I guess what I'm asking is.. Is there something wrong with me or do other women enjoy this as well because I REALLY want him to hurt me and take control because when it hurts to be completely honest... It feels amazing and heightens the feeling of sex.

- Asked by A Life of the Party, Female, 29-35, Teaching

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Next thing, He'll kick you in the cunt, and game-over!

- Response by geester, A Creative, Male, 56-65, Celebrity

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Community Rating: Community Star

it shows you are trusting, if he is so inclined, maybe move towrds blindfolding and tying.....thats along the same lines without him feeling like he's kicking the crap out of you

- Response by queenbeenthere, A Married Girl, Female, 36-45, Medical / Dental

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Wow.. that's extreme.. even for me, and I'm a total freak!

Now.. I'd have no problem with spanking, slapping on the ass.. but if you're talking about slapping you in the face.. Umm.. Whoa!

And even a little choking is OK. Asphyxiation IS known to heighten arousal.. but it's something you have to be VERY careful with!

Is it "normal"? Who has the right to define "normal" in this world? So, I wouldn't say there's anything "wrong" with you.. but you do have desires which lean toward the kinkier side of S&M.. and would probably be interested in B&D also.

Personally, I like role play, where my woman totally submits to me, and she's totally under my control.. but that's only to the point of spanking her, pulling her hair, and tying her up.

The important thing in any kind of role play, is that BOTH people need to be secure and comfortable in their actions, and enjoying it. They also need to know, that what happens during role play, is NOT something that should happen in your day-to-day non-sexual life.

So.. if a guy was into slapping you, as much as you're into being slapped.. I'd be cautious that this wasn't something he'd truly enjoy, any time he felt like it. The potential for abuse is tremendous!

It takes the right kind of strong-willed person, to understand the boundaries between sexual fantasy/play.. and reality.

- Response by steve67, A Rebel, Male, Who Cares?

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There is a fine line between pleasure and pain. And you've discovered that fine line. It is true the a little pain does heighten sexual pleasure. That is why things like bondage, S&M, spanking and such are so popular. So you are not alone in your desire to explore the wilder side of sex. I have several suggestions to keep fun and safe.

Make sure you both understand there is a distinction between fantasy and reality. You may fantasize about being rape and may even role play out a rape scene. But in no way do you desire being raped.

Us a code word. This is a ward that you both know that it's time to stop. You say the code word and everything stops. This is for safety. You can role play saying, "No, stop, it hurts". etc-etc. But the code word means stop, you really are hurting me or Im uncomfortable with this.

I've heard of some people using weapons. Let me make this clear. ONLY USE FAKE WEAPONS. This goes for whips and chains too. A sex toy store will be able to help you find safe weapons and whips.

The same thing can be said for ropes and tying. Ropes can leave burns and really do choke. It's best to use a silk ribbon. You can tie one end to an object and lay the loose end across your wrist and hang on to the ribbon. This is so if things get a little out of hand you are able to protect yourself. You'll still get the role play fantasy effect but without the danger.

Have your boyfriend cup his hand slightly when he slaps. You'll still get the sensation of being slapped but he won't leave hand prints or burses.

You boyfriend was right to go timidly at first. You want to safely explore the limits without going too far. Once you both know and understand the limits and can go there safely, you both will have lots of fun.

Enjoy. Be safe.

- Response by cosmicdog0, A Guy Critical, Male, 56-65, Denver, Science / Engineering

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you are very much in a normal range. Lots of women have 'rape fantasies' and ENJOY being dominated. I think more women are submissive than really Dominant.
I like the same things you do.
You're normal. go get it, girl!!!

- Response by discotrash, A Career Woman, Female, 29-35, Las Vegas, Other Profession

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Its not that unusual lots of people like it.

- Response by bluebird300, A Creative, Female, 46-55, Pittsburgh, Farming

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I am not into the hurting scene. I don't EVER like to be hurt.

- Response by barbb, An Alternative Girl, Female, Who Cares?, Other Profession

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ahh the pleasures of being taken without mercy

- Response by kjman, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 46-55, Construction

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I am 40, and was married for 18 years of normal, boring sex. And I am with this guy now older then me 58. And I dont know how it started but. He slaps me perfectly in the face during sex. I love it, the harder the better. He has never left a mark and it is ONLY in the bed room.

- Response by mskidrock1, A Hippie Chick, Female, 46-55

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Wow i thought i was the only one who liked that, i havent had the courage to tell him to do it to me though, my ex did it and i liked it ALOT.. new boyfriend wud think im weird if i asked him too but he yanks my hair back ... but its like i want him to cover my mouth n be like shutup bitch n slaps n hold my throat.. but how in the heck am i ment to say that to him Lol reply.. i realli did think i was a weirdo til u sed this :D eep im not the onli one! xx

- Response by makeamark, A Trendsetter, Female, 22-25, Leeds

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YES!! I'm a guy, and I recently discovered this too. I absolutely LOVE getting slapped when I'm on bottom. By far the best, loudest, most toe-curling, earth-shattering orgasm I've ever had is getting slapped (hard) while she punishes me with a strapon. I love being spit on too, although I can't get her to pee on me (that would be the best!!).

- Response by jibbser, A Mr. Married Guy, Male, 29-35

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Sorry. Maybe I revealed a bit too much on that one.

- Response by jibbser, A Mr. Married Guy, Male, 29-35

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There is nothing wrong with a woman who wants to be beaten during sex. However, uou might want to consider being properly trained by an ecperienced Master if you truly want to be taken control of and given the most sincere pain/pleasure experience.
sadistic_mann (at)

- Response by A Guy Critical, Male, 36-45, Boston, Managerial

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