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Active Questions

Happy Birthday, Ex-wife?
Married Life / 6:55 AM - Sunday October 19, 2008

Happy Birthday, Ex-wife?

My ex-wife's birthday is coming up in a few days and I want to give her a call to wish her Happy Birthday. She divorced me last year in January, hasn't spoken to me since, and has remarried. I don't know why she divorced me, but I still love her and want to be a decent human being by wishing her Happy B-day, like my father does for my mom every year. Everyone tells me I shouldn't. Should I call her? I've tried sending cards, letters, gifts, and e-mails, but she never replies.

- Asked by coolstud, A Life of the Party, Male, Who Cares?, Portland, Self-Employed

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All you're doing is inflating her ego. There's a reason why everyone says stop. You're not going to get over her if you keep this up.

- Response by workplay, A Career Man, Male, 29-35, Military

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Yeah you should call her. Its no harm. I get replys when I send my friend a birthday card. If she doesnt want talk to you she probably has caller ID and she wont answer. Than you can leave a message on her voice mail. Its just a birthday message. Do you have children with her? Whos the little boy is that your son/

- Response by twilightzone85, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 29-35, Milwaukee, Food Service

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Effective stalking requires serious effort, dude. Phone calls are for lightweights. I think you should set up camp in front of her bedroom window. Don't forget your binoculars. ;)

- Response by uniquelyme2, A Creative, Female, 46-55, Artist / Musician / Writer

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i wouldn't. do u have kids together? if so, and u have ur kids that day, just have them wish her a happy birthday. she's remarried, she's moved on. she's not gonna drop her new husband just because u wished her a happy birthday. sorry, man.

- Response by nicky711, A Thinker, Female, 36-45

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Call her if you want, but she might hang up. One of my friends is divorced after 25 years, and his ex wife clals him all the time. What is not clear to me is why youa re sending cards, letters, gifts, and emails. Maybe you should come to terms that it is truly over, and if she does not answer, just leave a message with a Happy Birthday. But, don't you feel less than a man, that she did not tell you why she divorced you ? Why would you continue to hurt yourself needing affirmation from such a person ?

- Response by A Creative, Female, 29-35, Who Cares?

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She never replies...........Don't call or send anything. It is time for you to let go and move on!!!!

- Response by youngatheart51, A Cool Mom, Female, 56-65, Administrative

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I wouldn't do it dude. I totally appreciate where it's coming from, but since you've tried to contact her in the past without a response, what does that tell you? I'm also divorced, so I know what your saying, but I think it's time to move on and put her in the past. Your a good man, but I have to tell you I don't think this is a good idea.

- Response by daydreamer1, A Creative, Male, 36-45, Chicago, Managerial

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My wife's birthday is comming up this month as well. I just got a divorce finalized less than two months ago. I was a default judgement as in I wanted her to be happy but I wasn't going to make it difficult. I tried and tried to make her realize that knowing each other since she was 17 and i was 19 growing together, graduating together, going to all the different countries togther, through a deployment, that it was all worth fighting to stay together for. I don't know the real reason she left and I've asked all the obvious questions. Some people change and I was in love .. .still am.. hurt and wishing she knew how much it kills me. i'm depressed on a daily basis and am getting away. I volunteered to deploy so I'm leaving again next month. I'm not even active full time anymore but I have to start over.. i'm going to let my house go...being in it doesn't help. I even met a wonderful girl that's helped out so much but years of marriage and love isn't something that can just go away no matter how great the next person is.. it'll take time and i accept that.. i have to just get away and figure out who i want to be.. i can't bring myself to sell the ring i got her. it was expensive but thats not the point.. it's what it meant to me.. i was thinking of giving it back.. i said i wanted it bc if it didn't mean anything to her then i should be the one to have it.. i just found out days ago that she started being with someone else.. she only recently met him and i know its a double standard bc i did the same but it kills me ... literally i hate to think about it.. i still ask myself what did i not do.. her mom was/is so confused.. knows i loved her so good.. we got married young but experienced so much together... the other day she put pictures up on facebook of us back when times were good.. it crushed me too.. i'm running away from it all.. everything in my life.. i'm going where there are less worries and i'll have time ..put my life on pause.. so as this is obviously therapy for me since i've wrote so much i'm doing it because i know where u are.. i want to get my xwife something..something meaningful.. i don't think i can talk to her though.. i don't know.. knowing that i'm slowly being replaced hurts more than anything... but i don't think i'll ever love someone as much as her.. so i don't know what to do either

- Response by tommynkorea, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 29-35, Columbus

Rating Received: k.html

And they said, "Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved, you and your household." (Acts 16:31 ESV)

Hear what tommynkorea is saying, he will never get over his wife, she is still his wife, she will be his wife until one of them dies, your wife will be your wife until one of you dies, my wife finalized a court divorce 9 months ago and her birthday is in 2 days, and I must do something to show her I love her and forgive her and will always and remain faithful even though God calls us to live in peace, our happiness is not his primary concern, the bible tells us what Gods greatest command is, charity, charity is the original definition of love. GOD designed and created marriage, it must be done his way, and it is a covenant the binds us till death. The only permission GOD gives for a second marriage is to a widow. The bible gives no permission to divorce and if a separation occurs we must remain single or be reconciled to our covenant spouse.
Love, faithfulness, forgiveness and prayer will sanctify your spouse. Kindness, compassion will soften the heart.
GOD will never bless or even recognize an adulterous remarriage.
All unrepentant adulterers will be condemned. But all of us who are called and repent will be reconciled and redeemed.

A woman in that town who lived a sinful life learned that Jesus was eating at the Pharisee's house, so she came there with an alabaster jar of perfume. As she stood behind him at his feet weeping, she began to wet his feet with her tears. Then she wiped them with her hair, kissed them and poured perfume on them. Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven-as her great love has shown. But whoever has been forgiven little loves little." (Luke 7:37, 38, 47 NIV)the one that is forgiven much loves much.
What greater representation of christ and his church than a rebelious wife reconciled to her covenant husband by the power of GODs great love

Never give up on the one you should protect, it's a matter of salvation.
We have a covenant keeping God of jealousy and wrath.
Repent and be faithful uk.html 

- Response by discipledown, A Thinker, Male, 36-45

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