Back to Active Questions

Active Questions

You stay there..VS..I'm on my way
Family & Parenting / 1:14 PM - Wednesday October 08, 2008

You stay there..VS..I'm on my way

If your teenage son or daughter (18 & over) was arrested for drinking and driving, would you bail him/her out OR would you leave them in jail for a few days in hopes of them learning their lesson?

- Asked by dolphace, A Hippie Chick, Female, 36-45

Read more about the Rating System

Leave their ass in jail, that is soooo stupid. I would be soooo mad, they would be safer in jail, and that's real talk.

- Response by nottheusualmale, A Life of the Party, Male, 36-45, Atlanta, Artist / Musician / Writer

Rating Received:

Community Rating: Community Star

i don't have kids but i already know i would bail them out. i could never let my child spend the night in a jail cell. i'd teach them a lesson when they got home though! :)

- Response by jojo914, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Who Cares?

Rating Received:

id go pick them up the next morning so they could languish in jail for a night

then id kick their effing ass to kingdom come

:o)

- Response by anonymouse32, An Alternative Girl, Female, 18-21

Rating Received:

I'd leave them. It's called "tough love". I'd hate to be their enabler. :/

- Response by twocents47, A Sweet Sarah, Female, 46-55, Who Cares?

Rating Received:

I leave them in jail for a couple of days. Thats tough love.

- Response by twilightzone85, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 29-35, Milwaukee, Food Service

Rating Received:

... hmm does kinda depend... but if they were under age i would defenetly leave them in there... amd of 21 i would think about it....depends on how i feel the child is responsibility wise.

- Response by lovedforwhosheis, A Life of the Party, Female, 26-28, Financial / Banking

Rating Received:

I would bail them out, then teach them a lesson they would never forget!

- Response by bobboy, A Jock, Male, 66 or older, Retired

Rating Received:

I'd leave them in jail for as long as possible. Then, I'd have to beat them whether they were 18 or 60.

- Response by mhnsmom, A Thinker, Female, 29-35, Who Cares?

Rating Received:

I would proababy bail them out the first time the second they are on their own

- Response by fishon12, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Who Cares?

Rating Received:

In California they only keep you for about 24 hours for A DUI ... considering the fact that he would still be drunk I think I would leave him there. It would be good for him.. thinking time.. depending on the kid maybe he will be planning his next move to try to turn his mother into an alcoholic...

I'm having the blues today from my teens.. as you can see!


- Response by lovesgoldens, A Sweet Sarah, Female, 36-45, Who Cares?

Rating Received:

My days of bailing drunks out of jail are over.

They can sit there and rot until the judge sets 'em free.

(Neither one of my sons will touch a drop of alcohol because they have seen the pain and distruction it causes.)

- Response by utahmom, A Thinker, Female, 56-65, Managerial

Rating Received:

the amount of time they spent in jail, whether it be wisking them away before they even make it through the paperwork, or a few days later, would depend on my kid. you screw up my trust/faith in you and you'd better get comfy, but if youve made good decisions up until that point, i might not think the trauma is worth it.

- Response by greenslinky, A Career Woman, Female, 29-35, Science / Engineering

Rating Received:

I'd bail them out. Jail is a bad place. Definitely not a place for an 18 year old who made a bad decision.

You better believe I'd punish their ass financially though! I'd get them the best lawyer in the state to get them off, and make then pay me for both their fees and some fees of my own.

- Response by runner, A Career Man, Male, 36-45, Dallas, Executive

Rating Received:

Ask my son that question, he's still pissed about it!

- Response by loseing, A Guy Critical, Male, Who Cares?, Who Cares?

Rating Received:

I would bail them out and then kill them when we got home.Not kill them literally but you know what I mean.

- Response by almostcoolmom4, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, New York, Other Profession

Rating Received:

Sounds harsh . . . but I would leave them there. I hope it never happens.

- Response by carinabay, A Cool Mom, Female, 46-55, Lawyer

Rating Received:

Here in Escambia co. Fl. a dui offender is taken to jail and MUST stay there under observation fot no less than 12 hrs. No one can get them out until. Usually they are released on ROR

- Response by trhjr1, A Guy Critical, Male, 66 or older, Retired

Rating Received:

Not only would I NOT bail him out but he would not have a car to drive once he did get out. Anyting else is just enableing him!!!

- Response by cmgr, A Mr. Married Guy, Male, 46-55, New York, Other Profession

Rating Received:

Leave them in jail for a few days. Sometimes it helps and other times it just makes them mad. But, it they have to sit there and wait to go to court, it can be an eye opening experience for them.

- Response by barbb, An Alternative Girl, Female, Who Cares?, Other Profession

Rating Received:

I'd leave them in jail and hope that they would learn from their poor choices. All bailing them out does is teaches them that mommy and daddy will come to your aide when you are in trouble and that there are no real consequences for poor choices.

If over 18 then they need to learn what it is like to be an adult and take personal responsibility for your actions. I think parents that do not teach their children life's hard lessons are doing them a diservice.

- Response by kdtxchic30, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Who Cares?

Rating Received:

Hello,
If my child did as a way of life I would let him stay in jail.If this is not thier usual behavior I would bail them out.Hopfully the experience will chang thier behavior.
Thank you for rating us.

- Response by frenchkiss49, A Thinker, Female, 56-65, Tampa, Who Cares?

Rating Received:

Parental discussion about driving and drinking should come before they have a license or are old enough to drink. I would bail them out but they wouldn't be driving for a long time and learning the hard way about responsibility. I have two older children who never did that and I can bet they will not drive and drink. I hit that message home loud and clear. Rosey

- Response by roseytalks, A Thinker, Female, Who Cares?, Tampa, Who Cares?

Rating Received:

Done that! We did this to my eldest stepdaughter...20. She was in jail for about a week, because of the judge's schedule. Believe me, she learned her lesson. She's now 21 and doesn't drink anymore.

- Response by 1wonderfullife, A Married Girl, Female, 46-55, Who Cares?

Rating Received:

leave them sit for awhile.

- Response by headscratching, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 46-55, Science / Engineering

Rating Received:

That's a difficult question. I really love my daughter, but if she gets to a point where she doesn't listen to me and gets drunk and then drives, I could see myself keeping her in jail for a least a day to teach her a lesson. But I would be agonizing inside most of the time.

- Response by rhunt0210, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 46-55, Other Profession

Rating Received:

Been there.He spent the night and was released the next day.He ended up walking home almost all the way.About 22 miles.A friend was suppose to pick him up,but did not show.We had no phone at the time.He was not the only one that got arrested though.He learned his lesson from the fine and everything else the judge gave him.His father and I were not mad at him.It was a lesson well learned.We could see that he had learned a lesson from it all.Forunately he was not the driver.He was 19 under the legal age to drink.And he had never been in any trouble before this and has not since this. :)

- Response by roanna, A Hippie Chick, Female, 56-65, Self-Employed

Rating Received:

If it was their first arrest then of course I would, no doubt or hesitation. From experience I can say that the arrest is hard and embarrassing enough. Don't punish them further at that time.

- Response by lee37, A Thinker, Female, 29-35, Los Angeles, Who Cares?

Rating Received:

I choose the latter, they would have learn that is a serious offense and people's lives are at risk.

- Response by romanticlover007, A Creative, Male, 46-55, New York, Artist / Musician / Writer

Rating Received:

I would allow him several days to comptempatee his actiomw

- Response by iamasamos, A Thinker, Female, 66 or older

Rating Received:

Sweetie, if my son ever did anything like that, not only would his happy ass sit in jail for however long, but I'd take away the car keys and hide them.



- Response by seductivepisces9, A Thinker, Female, 29-35, Who Cares?

Rating Received:

Of course I'd bail them out. I might need them to bail me out one day too! haha!

- Response by lobsterdude, A Guy Critical, Male, 29-35

Rating Received:

Well, seeing as how MY dad bailed ME out, and also did everything he could to keep me out of "the system", I think I'd do it for my kids as well. . . . "ONCE"......


I'd mak esure they knew just how stupid it was and how they COULD have hurt someone, but I'd help 'em out so they didn't ruin their lives with one idiotic error in judgment.... but no more after that.... next one's on THEM!!!!!!

- Response by bytor, A Rebel, Male, 46-55, Pittsburgh, Artist / Musician / Writer

Rating Received:

I would leave him/her in jail for one night.

He could have killed himself or someone innocent. If he got away with his life, he could go to jail for a long time if someone innocent was killed.

I wouldn't want the drinking and driving to be seen as a small thing mom could come and save him from. He would rather have been lucky to have been caught before he wrapped himself around a tree or killed someone else.

One of my best friends died in a drinking and driving accident, so did his brother. His poor parents are now without any children and are devastated.

I would leave him in jail for one night, then send him to a rehab program and take away his car keys until it was clear that he had become more responsible.

- Response by milla, A Thinker, Female, 36-45

Rating Received:

They need to sit in jail and think about what they've done and hope that they never do it again.

- Response by happygolcky, A Sweet Sarah, Female, 36-45, Chicago, Medical / Dental

Rating Received:

i think it would be better to have them go through all of the consequences that are related to their offense. it may not be the easiest thing to do but it may saves lives down the road. no one ever said that raising children would be easy.

- Response by imissit, A Sweet Sarah, Female, 66 or older, Who Cares?

Rating Received:

I would leave them in jail and let them think about and realize that 'mommy' or 'daddy' will not always be there to bail their ass out of jail when/if they ever choose to continue this type of behaviour...then I would teach them a lesson when they got home by taking their driving privileges away and not allowing them to go out without a 'responsible' adult(me...lol) because I sure wouldn't want them thinking it's okay to put their lives and others' lives on the line...:)

- Response by fastball, A Cool Mom, Female, 36-45, Edmonton, Self-Employed

Rating Received:

You all are so heartless!

- Response by amandasboy, A Father Figure, Male, Who Cares?, Other Profession

Rating Received:

I would leave them. They need to learn from it and bailing them out is just enabling them to do it again.

- Response by yankeegirl47, A Life of the Party, Female, 29-35, Managerial

Rating Received:

I'd try and find out the truth behind it, then if it was them being completely stupid leave them to sweat it out for a day or two.

- Response by hands, A Creative, Male, 46-55, Hong Kong, Who Cares?

Rating Received:

I have had some experience in this area unfortunately. In FL u have to saty a minimum of 8 hours in jail for a DUI but it usually turns out to be 10 or 12 because the time doesnt start until your processed. I thank God evetry day my brother was able to come and bail me out. The post DUI process was enough for me to never do that again, and jail was the most humiliating, de-humanizing experience of my life. I think you should bail them out... eventually. Staying over night in a cell is a horrid expeirence ( with junkies and prosititues sitting next to you), but it does teach you the immediate consequence of your stupid actions. So yes bail them out, but give them some time to think about what they did.

- Response by A Creative, Female, 29-35, Who Cares?

Rating Received:

I would leave them in jail for the night. If they didn't learn there lesson from staying in jail then they apparently dont care . If they live with me they would have to find another place to live.

- Response by leeann, A Sweet Sarah, Female, 29-35, Who Cares?

Rating Received:

Sorry, but once they get over 18, they are on their own.


- Response by amandasboy, A Father Figure, Male, Who Cares?, Other Profession

Rating Received:

I would bail them out jail is not for no one.Now if i see a pattern then i would let them sit for a day or so.

- Response by sunny396e, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 46-55, Atlanta

Rating Received:

They'd be stuck in jail for the night, at least...

Same treatment I got when I was that age.

Pretty much cured me of "partying hard" before I was 21.

My dad carried a badge, so it was kind of a 'no brainer' ...

- Response by cd92835, A Career Man, Male, 46-55

Rating Received: