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Active Questions

Divorce Rate
Married Life / 1:23 PM - Sunday October 05, 2008

Divorce Rate

Do you think the divorce rate would be so high if people dated for at least 5 years or so ?

- Asked by sunny396e, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 46-55, Atlanta

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No, I don't think it would be so high. I also think the marriage rate would go down if they dated for 5 years.

- Response by lacey07, A Life of the Party, Female, Who Cares?, Other Profession

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yeah..cuz going to the movies,park walking the dog,hanging out and generally having "fun" is not anything you generally do in real life...take car in to be fixed..wait forever...clean the gutters,cut your hand, deal with your mom his mom on the phone about whtcha gonna do about ________?
Then one or both get layed off,hours cut back,surgery,injury at work....arrrrrrghhhhhhh h more wannna f*** to deall with all the stress.they just dried up physically,emotionally and spiritually!If you put all of the later in a date no one would ver go out!

When was the last time anyone ask someone out wiith the line...

Hey,wanna go out and balance my check book?
What say we get a sandwhich and pour over my Fed taxes?
Can you help me touch up my roots?
Hoeny what is this thing on the back of my neck? A boil?


- Response by lady4u, A Married Girl, Female, 56-65, Cincinnati, Who Cares?

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I'm not sure the length of time has as much to do with the divorce rate as people still being convinced they can change people after they're married.

- Response by almostcoolmom4, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, New York, Other Profession

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I think people marry for the wrong reasons these days, and I'm not sure it has anything to do with love.

- Response by cougar01, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Self-Employed

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I think its a good possibility...people change after marriage or giving birth....or for some other unknown reason! I dated my ex husband for at least 5 years before marrying......and we are still divorced!!

- Response by lam0366, A Sweet Sarah, Female, 46-55, Administrative

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Yes if people dated longer, they would find out how each are and work to correct or move on and their would not be so many children suffering.

- Response by lifestyle, A Father Figure, Male, 56-65, Houston

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maybe. ppl need to know themselves an what they want in life b4 they jump into sumthin w someone

- Response by spices21, A Thinker, Female, 26-28, Military

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Yes, but it depends on what the people are doing with that time. If someone is sweeping problems under the rug and trying to work at keeping the relationship no matter how bad things get then length of time doesn't matter.

At my age there is no urgent reason (and possibly no reason) to get married. There are lots of times when I think that maintaining our ability to support ourselves and separate would keep a life partnership healthier, keep us less likely to take each other for granted and less likely to let ourselves go. It is possible to marry without filing government paperwork, still wear rings and call someone your spouse, file joint tax returns, list their partners as emergency contacts but maintain separate bank accounts and the ability to leave at will. People need to rethink what that government legal contract stuff is really accomplishing.

- Response by bailarenfuego, A Guy Critical, Male, 46-55, Technical

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i think relation ship are best if there friends first.alot of couples base it on sex then after there togeather it dies down and they grow apart from one another.

- Response by chrisyjoe, A Cool Mom, Female, 36-45, Home Maker

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I think people need to get to know each other first as friends and then date. I don't think people should date 5 years whats the need of marrying.

- Response by pecanty, A Thinker, Female, 56-65, Hospitality

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Of course.

- Response by int24h, A Career Man, Male, 36-45, Alternative Medicine

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yeah, because the longer your together the more you know about one another....a person surely couldn't hide who they really are after 5 years...

- Response by A Sweet Sarah, Female, 29-35, Dallas, Financial / Banking

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Yes, if not higher. Then people would have a few failed 5 year relationships, be 38 and ready to have a family and thus marry before really finding the right person.

I'm all for dating for a short while and breaking up promptly when you realize he/she is not the one.

Honestly, if you're not sure after 2 years how can you ever be sure? After 2 years, you know me if you have cared to listen.

- Response by milla, A Thinker, Female, 36-45

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I think it already happens a lot, and no, I don't think it makes any difference at all. And I don't really care how high the divorce rate is either. Why should anybody? People are always going to change their minds, and it's nice that society has finally stopped crucifying people for leaving unhappy marriages.

- Response by lobsterdude, A Guy Critical, Male, 29-35

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I don't think it would be so high because people would be able to decide if marriage was the best thing within that 5 year period...I, myself, have dated guys for a long time before considering marriage because I didn't want to rush into anything that I wasn't certain people may realize that marriage is not a 'game', it's something that you continually work on...:)

- Response by fastball, A Cool Mom, Female, 36-45, Edmonton, Self-Employed

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Yes. I don't think the time factor of dating has anything to do with people getting divorced or not.

- Response by hands, A Creative, Male, 46-55, Hong Kong, Who Cares?

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I think things change once you are the length of time doesn't make that much difference, I believe!

Have a good one!

- Response by kanaka, A Life of the Party, Male, 46-55, Dallas, Executive

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Divorce has much less to do with pre marriage and everything to do with post marriage relationships. More dating is like saying we'd all be better off shack'n up awhile to see how things work out. Let me tell you, just as there is a huge difference in the way people respect rental property as apposed to owned, so goes shack'n up as opposed to marriage.

Our divorce rate isn't about how well we can "date" but what kind of family we'll make once we are married. In the "Norman Rockwell" world of lower divorce rates parents created a "home", "raised" their children, and had a support system to back it all up. Today there is much we in the family and more I. Both parents work while the kids are farmed out to daycare. Doesn't matter who's fault it is, that's the way it is.

Family is the glue that holds a marriage together and right now the pieces are so far apart there just isn't enought glue.

- Response by fluff47, A Father Figure, Male, 56-65, Self-Employed

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There have actually been studies done on this that show that people who date between 6 months and 2 years before marrying have the highest success rate. They don't know exactly why, but speculate (naturally) that shorter than 6 months and you don't know each other well enough . . . longer than 2 years and maybe there was a reason you were reluctant to marry.

- Response by kuriouskats, A Sweet Sarah, Female, 29-35, Seattle, Technical

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I don't believe people need to date for any set time period in order to have a successfull marriage. I do believe the foundation for a successfull marriage is created when before the wedding, the couple discusses how they feel about lifes big issues i.e., what their individual feelings are on divorce, taking care of elderly parents, sex and money. If the couple is honest with themselves and each other they can see their ability to succeed in marriage or decide marriage isn't for them.

- Response by darchie, A Thinker, Female, 29-35, Chicago

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..I don't think dating longer would help...I think that people need to figure out what they want out of a partner before they would definately help..

- Response by michellekia, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, St.Louis, Financial / Banking

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Personally, i dont feel the divorce rates have nothing to do with, how long we date..and its been a known that a lot of arrnage marriages work, do they date?not really..(that i leanrt in school)so ill say yep, divorce rate are based on varuious issues,and we wil only stay with th peron till be feel fit too..

- Response by riya123, A Thinker, Female, 26-28, Other Profession

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Yes, but I want to get married before I have kids. And at my age (33) waiting at least 5 years may not be the best idea.

- Response by silver75, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Stockholm, Other Profession

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The divorce rate is high for a few reasons but one of the biggest reasons is that our generations has turned into a ME ME ME generation right now and if it doesn't feel good I'm outta there. How shallow we have become.

- Response by ebm3, A Trendsetter, Female, 36-45, Self-Employed

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