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10 years it has been....
Family & Parenting / 9:18 PM - Tuesday May 13, 2008

10 years it has been....

What was the last conversation you had with your father/mother?

Was it the absolute last or just the last at the time?

- Asked by citizensoldier, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 29-35, San Diego, Military

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Well the last conversation I had with my mother was today… she called to tell me when her dates were for coming down to visit me so we were pulling out our calendars to get that together.

I remember the last conversation with my dad very well. I was visiting in Ohio (my home state). My best friend of 20 years had just died of brain cancer I flew home for his final hours, wake and funeral.

I got back to the hotel after the visitation my aunt called my cell and said my dad was back in the hosptial. (my parents are in different states).

He had been in and out a lot that year with some health issues but this seemed routine and he was going to have a surgery on Tuesday (this was Sunday). I called him after visiting hours since I knew his wife had left. He and I chatted.. He thought I knew he was in the hosptial (his wife neglected to tell me which is my my aunt hunted me down).. He said he was having surgery.. I told him I had to go to my friends funeral on Monday but I would fly out on Tuesday and be there after his surgery. (this was his sixth that year). He was only 54. He said he couldn’t wait to see me and he loved me.. I said Love you too dad and he said baby I will see you soon (always how he signed off)

.. It was the last time I ever heard his voice.. He never woke up and two days later he was taken off life support. The next week I was at another funeral. That was six years ago.. I still think of that conversation.. sitting in that hotel room the weekend of my best friends funeral.. and losing my dad almost at the same time.


- Response by smartblond, A Sweet Sarah, Female, Who Cares?, Charlotte, Self-Employed

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I stopped at Dad's on my way to a 30 year class reunion... We talked about the crops on the farm, the birds in the redbud tree, about missing Mom who had died 5 years earlier, about the farm auction that he was going to the next day. I hugged him good bye. He thanked me for visiting... the next time I saw him he was unresponsive... a diabetic coma... he never spoke to me again. That was a little over a year ago now. :(

- Response by ataloss, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Who Cares?

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The very last time i spoke with my Mom was on a Saturday,March 16th and I brought her some St.Patricks Day cupcakes and balloons
I told her that I loved her and that I would see her on Monday
Well, On Sunday morning she passed away...I sure miss her!!

- Response by springishere, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Other Profession

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I talked to my mother earlier today. We were trying to decide if we were going to be able to meet for lunch, but alas the weather was quite poor and we were forced to reschedule.

- Response by jauggernot, A Jock, Male, 18-21, Denver, Student

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It was the last time for me, my mother has Alzheimer’s and she did not know that I was her daughter. It was a painful conversation...

- Response by ladywisteria, A Sweet Sarah, Female, Who Cares?, Medical / Dental

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I'm pretty close to my parents emotionally, but not geographically. Just saw them both on Sunday, though. Had a great day and then I got to leave and go back to my own life. Distance has its advantages and I think it has actually helped my relationship with my parents...

- Response by fyf04, A Career Man, Male, 36-45, Chicago, Managerial

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Saw my folks on Mother's Day...
My dad tried to guilt me because I was talking about my oldest is 18 & graduating & I had the '1 down, 1 to go attitude' about my job as a parent. I was getting all worked up trying to defend my self. He loves to get me going...
Mom just wanted all the details of why I haven't been coming around to visit as much...



- Response by fbomb101, An Alternative Girl, Female, 36-45, Boston, Medical / Dental

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It has been a very long time and both were the absolute last as both passed away, my mom in 1992 and my dad in 1996, both suddenly so there was no chance to say goodbye.

- Response by hulagirl55, A Sportif, Female, 46-55, San Francisco, Home Maker

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I saw my Mother on Mom's day. My father fell ill and passed away just days after I went on vacation 3 years ago, and I couldn't make it home in time to speak to him.

- Response by buffer, A Career Man, Male, 46-55, Los Angeles, Who Cares?

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Just the last conversation at the time.
Hopefully NOT the absolute last conversation...

You need some laughs big guy!

- Response by wendyshoefitz123, A Player, Female, Who Cares?, Who Cares?

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My last conversation with my dad was this afternoon. We speak pretty much daily.

My last conversation (if you can call it that) with my Mom was on Mother's Day. I went to visit her in the nursing home where she now resides and fed her lunch. She has advanced Alzheimer's disease and doesn't talk at all anymore except to exclaim profanities now and again. It would be funny if it wasn't so sad :(

My mother used to drive me absolutely NUTS with her nagging and meddling in my life. How I wish she would nag or meddle one more time! I actually dreamt about having a normal conversation with her a few nights ago. I wonder if she had the same dream?


- Response by chattinchick, A Career Woman, Female, 36-45, Other Profession

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I call my parents twice everyday given that we live in different countries. We don't chat for a long time maybe just for 5-10 min each time, unless something exciting/bad happens. Just random stuffs like she could be telling me that the price for seafood went up really high in my home country...

I just got off the phone with my mum. She is doing well, and that's all I care. =)

- Response by visitor6785, A Career Woman, Female, 26-28, Who Cares?

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My mother (grandmother actually but she raised me) has alzheimers and i remember the last conversation i had with her because i had been taking care of her for a long time as best i could when i was in my teens. My uncle and her oldest child decided she had to be put in a nursing home where they were equipped to treat her because she was getting to bad for me to help her anymore. The last conversation we had was one of the only 2 times i can remember in my life that i cried. She told me she held on as long as she could to make sure that i would be ok and would be able to take care of myself without her. I had told her that she did and thanked her for all she has done for me and helped me to become and promised her i wouldnt fail at taking care of myself.

The next day my uncle (who lived out of state) told her he was taking her to the doctor and when she was in the car he drove her to to a nursing home near where he lived 4 states away against her will (we later found out that while he was visiting he also had gone to a lawyer and had her declared unfit to take care of herself and got power of attorney over her).

A few days later he came back with some bullshit story about how i hadn't taken good enough care of her and how i had been stealing money from her and threw me out of the house i grew up in with the clothes on my back. 6 months later she was so bad she couldnt remember anyone anymore and not long after that she just sits there staring at the sky waiting to go home.

But i always remembered that promise i made to her and i burned with hate that fueled me to not give up and i never have. I wouldn't say im rich now (like many can now a days) but i dont want for much of anything anymore and my uncle had his entire jaw removed because of cancer. then they messed up on the plate that they put in there and had to remove it again and replace it.

This is an entirely true story of my life and is this: i still burn and probably always will. my family has told me i need to let it go and forgive but i dont want to lose my hate it kept me alive when i had nothing else and i need it but nobody seems to understands that.



- Response by jasonbrenderman, A Rebel, Male, 26-28

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Wow, me and Springishere is kinda the same. I talked to my mom on St. Patrick's Day 1994. She was going to my sister's for dinner, but she was waiting for me to come and get some mail. When I got there I found her on the floor with one shoe on. She had had a massive heart attack. My father's a prick so he don't count.
The end.

- Response by twocents45, A Sweet Sarah, Female, 46-55, Who Cares?

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The very last one-way "conversation" I had with my dad was when he was in the funeral home - post-mortem is the reason why it was a one-wayer. But, I know he "heard" me.

I promised him I would do everything to make sure his wishes were carried out, that he would get his burial at sea, and that I would not let him down.

I held the neatly folded American flag to my chest, after I took it from his. That was the closest thing to my heart, and his spirit was in that flag, as well as my tears.

He was a Marine, one of the Chosin Few, who survived the Korean War.

I will never forget this moment.


- Response by squeaktoy, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Seattle, Medical / Dental

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the last conversation i had with my mom was on mothers day.we were talking about a former coworker of mine that i saw

- Response by phenomenal1woman, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Chicago

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I am IM'ing with my Mom in between responding to posts. My Mom rules!! I talk to her daily..

My Dad passed when I was 5. I have no idea what my last conversation with him was. He traveled for business, so I am sure it was something along the lines of.. I will see you soon, love you. :)

- Response by almostsinful, A Married Girl, Female, 29-35

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with my father? just one hour ago..
mother a few minutes before it lol

- Response by coccinelle, A Trendsetter, Female, 26-28, Administrative

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My very last conversation with my mom was when i was 14 we spoke about my valenteins ball dress and shortly after that she passed away.

- Response by xelania, A Career Woman, Female, 26-28, Administrative

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Talked to my mom an hour ago about work and our plans for Saturday. Talked to my father earlier about his dr's appt next week I am taking him to.

- Response by lee37, A Thinker, Female, 26-28, Los Angeles, Who Cares?

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Mom was and she departed in July 2004, dad is fairly well and was about talking about taking our cars for 3,000 mile oil change, filter and spark plugs and on his dime!

- Response by 1beachbabe949, A Creative, Female, 46-55, Administrative

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The last conversation I had with both my father and mother were on their death beds. Yeah...it was the absolute last. 20 years...I still remember their words.

- Response by drumboi2, A Creative, Male, 56-65, Technical

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That last conversation I had with my father was the last and it was about regrets (his). I wonder if he knew he was going to die soon because that was so uncharacteristic of him.

- Response by kcsmom, A Hip Hop Girl, Female, 36-45

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I talk to my mom every day! She's my best friend, the only one who truly understands me! She has always been there for me. What did I say? HMMM, Mom I'm tired from work, gotta get off the phone! LOL

- Response by kitten528, An Alternative Girl, Female, 36-45, Philadelphia, Body Work

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After removing my mother from life support, he said it was a long day, that he was tired and that he loved me,we hugged each other and he went home and died.

- Response by concord22, A Rebel, Male, Who Cares?, New York, Who Cares?

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With my mom it was how I hoped she got better and that was the absolute last. With my father it was about how everything was going at school...and it was just the last at the time.

- Response by smcwsu628, A Sweet Sarah, Female, 22-25, Student

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My mother called about 3:30 p.m. EST. this afternoon to follow up on an appointment I'd had with a doctor this morning. For once we had a civilized conversation that did not include talk about a rival sister and favored daughter of hers. I told her I needed to drive out in the morning and wash clothes, and she graciously extended me the invitation. I'm going to take her my latest DVDS to watch with me while my clothes are washing knowing I'm going to get no praise for my effort to make her laugh; worse still because she is a drama queen who's always complaining over the mess she's made of her life yet as soon as you tell her the truth of what she needs to do to clean her act up the fighting starts with everyone forever against me, I am already training myself for the first complaint out of her mouth and as soon as I recognize it for the lie it is that she has no intent to change, I am going to comment, "My, you do have a problem!" and I am out the door!

- Response by thedaimler2006, A Hip Hop Girl, Female, 46-55, Atlanta, Artist / Musician / Writer

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The last one with daddy was very one sided. He was about to pass from years with Alzheimer’s. I looked him in the eyes. Ran my hand down the side of his face and told him it was Ok it was his time to go and play with Jesus. That me and the boys would be ok. That I loved him and wanted to thank him for all that he did for me. Then I kissed him and said "I love you daddy"

- Response by laney3166, A Cool Mom, Female, 36-45, St.Louis, Who Cares?

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It was Friday, April 9, 1999, and it was with my father. We discussed general things ongoing in our lives. On the following Monday, April 12th, I received a call that he had died. We buried him 4 days later...

- Response by msgg, A Life of the Party, Female, 36-45, Retail

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