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Do I have the right to be upset?
Do I have the right to be upset? / Family & Parenting / 7:00 PM - Tuesday May 13, 2008
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(Female, 18-21) asked:


About a week ago my older brother got busted for drunk driving. I'm not sure why, but it kinda bothered me because my brothers are kind like my role models ya know? And my dad was an alcoholic and would drive drunk all the time and never get busted. And last weekend my other brother that is only a year older than me got high at the movies. I didn't know my brother was doing drugs and he was surprised that I could tell he was high. I also thought of him as a role model cause ya know, there your brother so ya sorta respect them instinctively ya know? But when I found out about both my brothers I was upset. Is it reasonable that I'm upset with my brothers?


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A Creative (Female, Who Cares?) answered:

Screenname: nightingale226


What really is causing the anger is "disappointment!" Np, it is NOT unreasonable, at all. You look up to them and respect them. You are afraid that they are no longer role models for you. Talk to them and tell them how it makes you feel...let them know that you care about them, and hate to see them follow your Dad's patterns....that you love them and always want to see them safe....Bless you! God help them to follow the right path...

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A Rebel (Male, Los Angeles, 46-55, Consulting) answered:

Screenname: kravjar666


Sorry to hear that. I can identify, having grown up in an alcoholic family. In fact, this very day we are putting my mother into an alzeheimer facility because she's destroyed her brain.

And it's hard to watch the next generation, whether they'll become alcoholic or not, experimenting with alcohol and starting to create more of the chaos we grew up with.

As adult children of alcoholism, we grieve. We grieve over lost parents, lost opportunities, lost children. When new alcoholics start to act up, we grieve again.

Your feelings are normal, and shared by many of us who are in similar situations. Depending on your age, you might find some solace in al anon or alateen. It's all over, all the the time, and free. Call 888-4al-anon if you want to find a meeting near you.

Today I can deal with everything that's happening. I have friends I can share my grief with. I can also run situations past my friends.

Good luck and God bless

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A Career Man (Male, Los Angeles, 46-55, Who Cares?) answered:

Screenname: buffer


So I take it you are content to sit back in your comfort zone of them being older. Well that will never change, so why don't you start being a role model to them.

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