Back to Search

Uncensored Responses

Meet The Fockers
Meet The Fockers / Dating / 12:01 PM - Monday May 12, 2008
E-Mail Me
A Guy Critical (Male, 22-25, Student) asked:


WOW. Its waaay to soon to meet her parents. Shes already asked me 4 times but I keep coming up with an excuse.

We've only been together for 6 months, slow down.

When would it be too early for you to meet your boyfriend/girlfriends parents?

Update: May 13, 2008.
Why has this become a question of maturity? As I told another poster, it doesnt make you mature just because you get married. If anything, I am more mature because I have decided to focus on my own life and aspirations rather than devote myself to another. I mean, come on; Does any 23 year old truly believe that the guy or girl they are with now will be the LAST person they will EVER be with? I dont go into relationships looking for a wife, I go in for the experience of being with people from different races, cultures, religions etc. <- And that, is my source of growth.

Update: May 12, 2008.
One more thing to everyone. Why would anyone want to settle down at 23? I mean, we both just graduated from college last year and havent even really started to live our lives yet. 23 is too soon for a serious, parent meeting, marriage preparing relationship. Its not just that I want to meet other people, its that I have so much more I want to do with my life and a serious relationship will divert my focus.

Update: May 12, 2008.
Damn, people. You guys really must be some hopeless romantics or something because I have to disagree with you guys. I'm not in a relationship with her parents, I'm in one with her. So, unless were getting married (which is ridiculous because we are both only 23 and I have A LOT of more dating to do, people to meet and girls to f*ck), I dont see a need to meet the parents. Thats just me.


READ MORE ABOUT THE RATING SYSTEM


E-Mail Me

A Career Woman (Female, 46-55, Who Cares?) answered:

Screenname: baddgirl


It depends on how close you are, how close she is to her parents, and how much you love her.

If you are only casually dating, and her parents live in another state, then meeting them would seem a major step. But if you are exclusive, and she has dinner with her folks every Sunday, then it would seem appropriate for you to participate in that since it is a major part of her life.

It is of my opinion, that when you truly love someone, you really WANT to meet their family and learn everything about them because it helps you learn about what makes them tick. If you are not there yet, and she is urging you to meet them, that is a sign that the two of you are in VERY different stages of your relationship.

Good Luck!

Rating Received:


E-Mail Me

A Hippie Chick (Female, 46-55, Managerial) answered:

Screenname: selectivegirl


She should move on........

And you should find a FWB situation to just get your rocks off.......

Seriously, dude.......

Rating Received:

Community Rating: Community Star

E-Mail Me

A Thinker (Female, 46-55, Retired) answered:

Screenname: ivoryfresh


Damn son, DON'T PANIC! She just wants you to meet them. If my daughter was dating someone for six months you damn well better believe I'd want to meet him and I'd want to know why he doesn't want to comply. She wants you to MEET them NOT marry them.

Rating Received:


E-Mail Me

A Thinker (Female, San Diego, 29-35, Other Profession) answered:

Screenname: silver75


6 months is not too soon to meet them. It's not like you are obligated to marry her after you meet her parents. Just relax and go have dinner with them. What's the big deal? I'm sure they want to meet the guy their daughter has been dating for the past 6 months.

Rating Received:


E-Mail Me

A Thinker (Female, 22-25, Military) answered:

Screenname: misssparkle


When I realized that he wasnt the one, then that would be too soon to meet my parents. 6 months is a decent amount of time in your g/f defense I dont think its her with the problem, its you and seems that the problem could very well be that your not sure if this is "the one" for you so your reluctant to meet her folks, eventually she's gonna know why your stalling, be a man and tell her the freakin TRUTH already.

Rating Received:


E-Mail Me

A Sweet Sarah (Female, Boston, 18-21, Student) answered:

Screenname: deeppowder519sl


I don't think it's that big of a deal. I don't think 6 months is too early at all.

Rating Received:


E-Mail Me

A Sweet Sarah (Female, Philadelphia, 36-45, Retail) answered:

Screenname: dolphingirl44


I don't think that 6 months is too soon. I think a month is too soon but is there a reason why you don't want to meet her parents? Are you serious about their daughter or is it just casual for you and you don't want the pressure? IJA, not judging!

Rating Received:


E-Mail Me

A Mr. Nice Guy (Male, Phoenix, 46-55, Self-Employed) answered:

Screenname: rbinaz


Chicken.......

If you've been dating for 6 months I think it would be fine to meet her parents. What's the big deal?

Rating Received:


E-Mail Me

An Engaged Girl (Female, Cleveland, 26-28, Who Cares?) answered:

Screenname: carriesueud


Uhhh my bf met my parents about 2 weeks into us dating. I met his parents after about a month. Maybe less. 6 months is a looonnnngggg time.

Rating Received:


E-Mail Me

A Sweet Sarah (Female, Atlanta, 29-35, Administrative) answered:

Screenname: chesneyfan


6 months and you are refusing to meet her parents? What are you so afraid of?

I met my ex's parents within a week! The longest i have gone without meeting the parents in maybe 2 months, and that was because they lived far away.

Get over it or else you are going to get red flagged by her.

Rating Received:


E-Mail Me

A Life of the Party (Female, 26-28, Who Cares?) answered:

Screenname: beanielou


6 months is not too early. She's not asking you to marry her for god sakes, she's just asking you to meet people. I'd move on if i were her.

Rating Received:


E-Mail Me

A Cool Mom (Female, Cincinnati, 36-45, Student) answered:

Screenname: ohiogirl12


I think 6 months is way too early for a boyfriend or girlfriend to meet the parents. I would at least wait a year before meeting their parents.

Rating Received:


E-Mail Me

An Alternative Girl (Female, Toronto, 29-35, Technical) answered:

Screenname: sunnyd


6 months is NOT too soon to meet her parents.

Calm down. She isn't asking you to marry her.

Rating Received:


E-Mail Me

A Couch Potato (Male, 46-55, Celebrity) answered:

Screenname: geester


I ordered mine early...

I met them nine months prior to her birth.
then, again in the delivery room... for her birth.

and, to make sure the deal was still valid...

She's lovely and will be turning eighteen early next year...
and THEN... let the fun begin!

Rating Received:


E-Mail Me

An Intellectual Guy (Male, Boston, 36-45, Science / Engineering) answered:

Screenname: llafsroh


Huh? What are you afraid of? I usually meet a girls parents pretty early. It's a good way to find out if I want to keep her.

Rating Received:


E-Mail Me

A Life of the Party (Male, Dallas, 36-45, Executive) answered:

Screenname: kanaka


I think this is relative. Some people date once a week and talk a couple of other times each week and that is it. My wife and I, when we first connected, were talking 10 times a day, emailing, texting.....seeing each other 5 days a week. When you are like that.....3 months is like a year of seeing each other the other way! It is all about how you connect and how you are progressing!

Have a good one!

Rating Received:


E-Mail Me
A Thinker (Female, 22-25, Financial / Banking) answered:


Are you serious? You act like she is inviting you on a month long vacation with her family or something... it's just a simple meeting... I expect my bf to meet my parents after at least a month or 2...

Rating Received:


E-Mail Me

A Thinker (Female, 29-35, Medical / Dental) answered:

Screenname: draalexa


6 months is too soon?? You are right she is probably alredy booking the church for the wedding... You are kidding right_ Ive been with my BF for less than a month and he is making a special trip to meet my parents. Why do u guys make such a big deal out of it.. they are only people!

Rating Received:


E-Mail Me
A Sweet Sarah (Female, 29-35, Medical / Dental) answered:


6 months? are you kidding me? thats not too soon..really what are you afraid of? or is it you arent as serious about her as she is about you? if thats the case than you need to be honest with her, and stop making excuses..thats only fair..IJS

Rating Received:


E-Mail Me

An Intellectual Guy (Male, 29-35) answered:

Screenname: comfortillusion


Six months is too soon to meet her parents? You obviously don't really care about her.

But it's her fault also for being a dumbass willing to stick with a guy who has refused to meet them after six months.

Rating Received:


E-Mail Me

A Trendsetter (Female, 26-28, Retired) answered:

Screenname: ready4sumfun


It's not that big of a deal in my world. On several occassions I've met parents within the first week. But then again I'm a big believer that how guys treat their family is how they treat their mates, so I attract those types of guys.

Rating Received:


E-Mail Me

A Thinker (Female, Chicago, 46-55, Administrative) answered:

Screenname: cubbiegal


When you decide to become exclusive.

Rating Received:


E-Mail Me

A Hip-Hop Girl (Female, Atlanta, 46-55, Artist / Musician / Writer) answered:

Screenname: thedaimler2006


Sorry, but it's never soon enough when you've met the right person and know it. You then can't wait to get in your potential in-laws' faces and say: "Hey! I just may be your new son- or daughter-in law! Good to meet you!"

Anything less than that and it is exactly what it is: an excuse to get out of meeting the parents of the son or daughter you've just been screwing with no purpose of marriage in mind for him or her!

Rating Received:


E-Mail Me

An Intellectual Guy (Male, Antwerp, 26-28, Transportation) answered:

Screenname: maarten


6 months is not too soon. Her parents are a big part of her life and it's an important step to her. If you don't give, she'll more than likely dump you. You clearly don't show any respect to her and you are not ready to commit, but she is. At least, that's how she is going to see it, if you don't give in.
I don't understand what's the fuss about. You are only going to meet her parents, not the firing squad.

Rating Received:


E-Mail Me

A Creative (Female, New York, 18-21, Student) answered:

Screenname: sweetness04


It's not a big deal.

I want a guy to meet my parents because they are a big part of my life, I love them and therefore knowing them is knowing more of me.

I don't expect a marriage to come from meeting my parents, not at all.

Rating Received:


E-Mail Me

A Trendsetter (Female, 26-28, Financial / Banking) answered:

Screenname: shahista


if so, then please please make sure she knows that..

Rating Received:


E-Mail Me

A Sweet Sarah (Female, London, 22-25, Hospitality) answered:

Screenname: smilie


Eh...you obviously want to have your cake and eat it too. I'm sorry, but that's just not how love works. Being in a relationship means wanting to be together. If you feel you have "A LOT of more dating to do, people to meet and girls to f*ck" then why on earth are you in a serious relationship at all? Why aren't you single and out meeting all those girls?

There is no point being exclusive if you don't intend it to last. Very few girls want to be with someone who is just using them - which is what you're doing when you claim that she's your girlfriend while actually looking around for a better deal/more girls/whatever. She probably believes you love her and actually want to be with her for the long-term. Make sure she knows you're not. Don't string her along when she could be out there meeting a guy who loves her and wants to be with her.

23 is not too young to settle down, it depends on how mature you are. But if you feel it is, that's fair enough, it's your life. If you loved her and wanted her as your girlfriend, you wouldn't want to keep seeing other girls. It's not about you being 23, it's about you not loving her. So do her and yourself a favour and break up, then stay single until you're prepared to try and make it last.

Rating Received:


E-Mail Me

A Career Woman (Female, 29-35) answered:

Screenname: milla


Why don't you show your girlfriend this post? It will be good to get things out in the open, then you two will be on the same page.

You two should be honest with one another about expectations. If she knows how you feel, which she should, then she will stop pushing you to be in the type of relationship you don't want.

Rating Received:


E-Mail Me

A Thinker (Female, 22-25) answered:

Screenname: nicole88


Meeting the parents ISN'T the first step to a white wedding. She probably visits them often, she is your girlfriend and it is inevitable that she will want to be with you when she can but still go see her folks and show you off. If they know she's dating someone they will be expecting to meet you-it's no big deal.

Rating Received:


E-Mail Me

A Player (Female, 29-35) answered:

Screenname: pinknblu


question, have you expressed your feelings, to her???
i only think its too soon only if you both don't agree to do it!

i really think shes smItten with you, u guys need to talk and get an understanding, hopefully down the road, when your both are CoMfortable 2gether, you can then decide to meet the pareNts!!!


Rating Received:


E-Mail Me

A Hippie Chick (Female, 46-55, Self-Employed) answered:

Screenname: padme


I TOTALLY agree with YOU. You are a VERY intelligent young man. Go forth and sow your WILD OATS, that's what your early 20's are for. Please do NOT settle down with ONE woman right now.You have PLENTY of time for that later.You WILL eventually find 'THE ONE'..Don't rush it and just end up divorced and paying child support down the road :(

Rating Received:


E-Mail Me

A Thinker (Female, 22-25, Financial / Banking) answered:

Screenname: nonnahsvd


I think you should give it about 10 years, and then that should be the right time to meet her parents... anything before 10 years is just WAY too soon.

Rating Received:


E-Mail Me

A Creative (Male, Philadelphia, 29-35, Who Cares?) answered:

Screenname: dominicanbred


My ex introduced me to her parents and teenage son well b4 we were in a relationship. it was the holidays so i took it as a nice gesture. i wouldnt want to meet the significants at least way into the relationship. So as to not confuse others into thinking i will always be around, if im not or just for the sake of gettign to know her first b4 i know the others. people do things dfferently though. i would wait b4 a woman meets my madre'..

Rating Received:


E-Mail Me

A Rebel (Male, Houston, 22-25, Student) answered:

Screenname: ts5818


Obviously your prospective differs quite a bit from a lot of people on this board. I've met girls parents as early as 1 to 2 weeks. Like another poster said, I do it moreso to see what kind of home life she has and to see if her parents aren't drug dealers, crack addicts, etc lol (kidding of course). It's important for me though to see what they're like early so I can see what their daughter will be like if the relationship becomes more serious. There's nothing "attaching" you to a fence post because you meet her parents one time.

If anything it should be a relief to see if you like what you'll be getting into in the future. It doesn't have to translate into marriage the next week if you meet her parents.

Rating Received:


E-Mail Me

A Thinker (Female, 29-35, Medical / Dental) answered:

Screenname: steff1973


Perhaps she is just close to her family and wants to share with you people she does love and wants to be closer. Why are you acting as if meetingher parents is catching the plague? They are just people she knows and wants you to know! Whos father doesnt want to know who his daughter is spending time with. You dont have to get married the day after, or ever. It is just polite. You are in a relationship with her and she obviously loves her family and she obivously like you very much and just wants the two to get together. God are you paranoid...

Rating Received:


E-Mail Me

A Career Woman (Female, 29-35, Fitness) answered:

Screenname: marycherry


To be honest, at your age I wouldn't worry about meeting the parents. It doesn't mean much. Nobody will force you to do anything. If you don't feel comfortable, tell her that you'd like to wait another month or two. If you need more time, she should understand too.

Rating Received:


E-Mail Me

A Guy Critical (Male, Portland, 36-45, Technical) answered:

Screenname: bailarenfuego


From your updates it sounds like you have already made up your mind that you are going to leave her. And from her repeated requests for you to meet her parents and your extreme reluctance to do so it would appear you haven't told her you plan on leaving. And your online status of single while talking of a girlfriend suggests you have said you are being exclusive while you are not.

Dishonesty and exploitative intentions do not lead to positive growth. Even from a selfish perspective of just using dating experiences to make yourself better and moving on it is in your best interests to be open and honest. And leaving people who like you in your wake (versus people who hate you) is also in your best interests.

You should have a talk with her, let her know your true intentions and let her decide how she wants to proceed.

Rating Received:


E-Mail Me

An Alternative Girl (Female, Washington, DC, 26-28, Teaching) answered:

Screenname: pregunta


I agree with you. When I was your age, it would have been too soon for me too. I was 25 when I met my current boyfriend's parents, and I felt ok with it. Stick to your guns. Definitely if you are planning on dating around a lot after this girl, explain to her that is more serious than you want to be. YOU ARE RIGHT TO NOT SETTLE DOWN YET. If I had settled down after college....I would be divorced now!

Rating Received:


E-Mail Me

A Thinker (Female, 46-55) answered:

Screenname: ldykarla


You so need to be dumped. Six months and you have not met her parents? It is not about commitment, it is about respecting someone you are seeing enough to meet people she cares about.

As I said, you sooooo need to be dumped.

Rating Received:


E-Mail Me

A Career Woman (Female, Miami, 29-35, Other Profession) answered:

Screenname: paris31


I think you are taking it too seriously. Meeting her parents doesn't mean you are going to get married. If she is family oriented I am sure she wants to include her family with her personal life. When you are in a relationship you should meet the parents only b/c its weird if you don't. You are going to go to family functions and not invite me ever then expect me to be a girlfriend. There is a difference between casual dating and girlfriend. Yes you are right 23 is way too young to settle down and get married however what is the big deal of meeting her parents? That doesn't mean you are getting married and as long as they are not around all the time it shouldn't be a big deal. If she really means something to you, you should meet them. but in your last update it clearly states you are not ready for what she is. You should break up with her and not waste her time. Its nothing personal, its understandable you are young want to explore but don't be selfish and let her go b/c its obvious you both want different things.

Rating Received:


E-Mail Me

A Guy Critical (Male, Toronto, 18-21, Student) answered:

Screenname: hockeykid666


I see your point but me myself.
I dont put much emphasis on meeting the folks. i have a tendency to piss off parents.
So i dont care.
She usually meets my parents quickly cause its the way my life is.

Rating Received:


E-Mail Me

A Mr. Nice Guy (Male, New York, 36-45, Managerial) answered:

Screenname: tnix123


I have never had a problem meeting parents and I don't think 6 months is too soon. I mean really whats the big deal. Just because you meet them it doesn't mean you have promised to settle down with their little girl. Enjoy the small talk, the cheese and crackers and the mothers bad cooking.

Rating Received:

Back to Active Questions