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Long Distance Love
Long Distance Love / Dating / 9:35 PM - Sunday May 11, 2008
A Sweet Sarah (Female, New Orleans, 36-45, Administrative) asked:


My boyfriend is in the army. He is out of state (oregon) right now at training. But he said we would be able to talk. He was supposed to call me Sunday May 4th. But he didn't. Instead I get a text message saying his friends got him drunk again at 1 am. Then I sent a text saying call me. But he doesn't. Then at 3 am he sends another text saying Take me to breakfast. Which I can't of course. Then Monday, I try calling him and no answer. Throughout the week I leave several messages, and no replies back. So now Friday May 9th he flew to Vermont for another 2 weeks training. I tried calling again and no answer. So I asked a friend of mine to call him (friend of his too) to see if he will call her back or answer her call. HE calls her back on Saturday and answers her questions regarding her bf who is in Iraq right now. He told me when he goes to Vermont there will be no cell service, because he will be in the mountains living in tents training. But I'm thinking they had classroom instruction first and that's why he was able to call my friend back. Which hurt my feelings. A little background, I do call if I can't get in touch with him. I freak out. But this was the worse I have been. He will be going to Iraq in late July. And he often tells me that I will not be able to handle it.......because there he will not know when he can email or call. BUT also since he has been gone he has called every day and cammed with me on the computer. This is the first time he is ignoring me. So my question is......(1) Is he not calling because he is pissed with my constant calling and is teaching me a lesson to be patient OR (2) Is he dumping me completely and just never going to call me back? We have been together for 1-1/2 yrs. HE knows me and must know that I'm freaking out and still not calling or texting me to say I'm mad or whatever. Now I'm pretty sure that they are in the mountains. I just want to know will he call at the end of his training on May 23rd? This is the longest we have gone without talking.



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A Thinker (Female, 29-35, Executive) answered:


Of course he'll call you!!!

Right now he's having too much fun with the guys (like getting drunk last Sunday - drunk enough to last until Monday in fact :)

The fact that he called your friend back means nothing.

The 23rd is less then 14 days away.

Make sure you have a lot to tell him abouthe fun things you did without him when he was gone :)
... eventough you would have prefered to do them WITH him. :)





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A Thinker (Female, Los Angeles, 26-28, Therapist) answered:

Screenname: ladydimples


I dated a guy in the military. As I remember, it is very common when they can't get back to you -- even though it's a LONG time. They're just very busy.

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A Guy Critical (Male, Milwaukee, 66 or older, Retired) answered:

Screenname: rekkonball


He may be busy. Or as you suspect, he may be ignoring you to see what kind of reaction you go thru. He has to be concerned going to Iraq,and not knowing if he can call and how you will take it. (You sound like you would climb on a plane, hang on to the tail and go where he is in your desperation.) Time to chill and let nature provide.

rekkonball

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A Thinker (Female, Washington, DC, 46-55, Transportation) answered:

Screenname: msadvise


For someone your age, you sure don't act mature. You need to get a grip and get YOURSELF straightened out. It sounds like he's finally had it with your OCD, in addition knowing how you are he may not want to deal with you and your OCD, insecurity and whining once he's in IRAQ. Sounds like he's seeing the real for the very first time and doesn't like what he's experiencing. Question is, why do you 'freak out'? Afraid he's met someone else? If your 'freaking' is because you think he's dead or something, you REALLY need to get some counseling to get this irrational behavior under control or you'll never be able to maintain a good health relationship. Sorry, sweetie, this is how I see it and how you come across.

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