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Disgusted by my sister
Family & Parenting / 2:07 PM - Tuesday April 15, 2008

Disgusted by my sister

A terrible family emergency has come up and my brother and I were informed by our sister. BUT she embellished the situation to make it sound much worse than it was....It's bad enough but she was coloring the details with her spin on things....We live thousands of miles away so we were so distressed until someone with the right story set us straight...

This is not the FIRST time she has done this...I think she has a personality disorder in addition to being manipulative and dishonest. My QUESTION is....how can I avoid/neutralize her while going home to deal with this family issue? I avoided her all-together during the holidays but that was easy. I will HAVE to interact with her during the next few months. I told myself to summon inhuman inner strength because of the emergency (we ALL need to be our best right now.) But she is nothing to me now, I cannot trust her.

- Asked by gab1, An Alternative Girl, Female, 36-45, Portland

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I have a sister who does things like this as well and one of the reasons is because she likes to be the center of 'chaos'...I've learned, and many of our family members have learned, to just let her get caught up in her 'dramatics' and deal in whatever way possible because it seems she is always making more out of something that it actually is...one of the ways we avoid her 'over the top' behaviour is to let her talk but not really comment on whatever it is she is telling because most times it's what she 'thinks' and not what really happens...I think she just likes to pretend she is important because it gives her a purpose in the family...just stay away from her if you can and hopefully you won't have to deal with her so much....:D

- Response by fastball, A Cool Mom, Female, 36-45, Edmonton, Self-Employed

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Your sister reminds me of my brother. I've decided he doesn't have much respect for others because he has so little for himself. He does not know me, does not understand how I view the world or what my expectations are. He is not someone I should inform and I do not wish to be informed by him. Anything he says needs to be validated by someone else if it is of any interest to me. There is no point in trying to change him. With these thoughts in mind, I can get along just fine with my brother or walk away if I don't like his behavior. Hope this helps you with your sister.

- Response by maryea, A Thinker, Female, 56-65, Retired

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Tell her straight up you would like the facts only. if she tries to steer away from what you know already stop her. Tell her you are a grown up and can assertain the situation if yu are given the facts. if she continues to ramble on find someone else to ask right in front of her.

- Response by pepperman46, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 46-55

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well when things like family emergency ome up sometimes people go over board. But if she always does this with everything you need to explain to her how you feel...about everything. it sounds as though you two have some other issues that need to be worked out. having a siser is someone you cannot be replaced. You must work through the problems to resolve them. I locked my sister in a garage and woould not let her out until we had it out.... needles to say it worked. if she needs to be on meds. and she is scared to go see a dr. then go with her. good luck and god bless.

- Response by dnkbak97, A Cool Mom, Female, 36-45, Administrative

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