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Why do men yell?
Dating / 1:55 PM - Friday March 14, 2008

why do men yell?

why do men yell when they are mad? are they incapable of expressing anger without yelling? or is it just my bf? (LOL) seriously I made one little complaint and did it nice and calmly using I language and I still got yelled at...

Update: March 15, 2008.
i wish i could give stars to everyone...thnaks for your responses

- Asked by jimbozmuze, A Thinker, Female, 29-35, Other Profession

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... People express anger different ways... sometimes the anger is laced with guilt... activating the screaming and yelling mode...

- Response by kismet331, A Thinker, Female, 36-45

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Hint: Stop complaining.

- Response by greenwind, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 56-65, Construction

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Community Rating: Community Star

I'm sure not all men yell when they are mad because I don't yell at all. My girlfriend yells anytime she is angry or we are arguing. I think it depends on the person and their ability to communicate. If someone can easily convey their message with only words, then they would be fine just using words and not resorting to yelling. On the other hand if they feel somewhat incorrect or guilty or perhaps unable to fully convey their message, I'm sure the idea to yell would arise.

- Response by jauggernot, A Jock, Male, 26-28, Denver, Student

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are you related to Angelina Jolie?

- Response by sillyrabbit879, A Guy Critical, Male, 36-45, Retired

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I think the only time my boy friend yells is when he knows I'm right and he's wrong. Men don't like to admit they are wrong. I don't understand why two people can not discuss something without yelling. I don't think that yelling helps anyway.

- Response by A Life of the Party, Female, 46-55, Who Cares?

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ITS NOT JUST MEN SOME WOMAN DO THE SAME THING ITS JUST WHO THEY ARE. U HAVE TO LEARN TO IGNORE WITHOUT THEM KNOWING YOU ARE IGNORING

- Response by jessijess31, A Hippie Chick, Female, 36-45, New York, Administrative

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what constitutes as yelling? I've raised my voice slightly before, but outright yelling? VERY rare. very rare indeed.

~LB

- Response by laughingbandit, A Player, Male, 36-45, Toronto, Executive

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my bf does the same thing...when he gets really angry about something he screams and yells at me...ive learned to ignore it ..haha

- Response by wendy555, A Career Woman, Female, 26-28, Student

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In response to "greenwind, An Intellectual Guy," an intellectual guy would know that "stop complaining" is an impossiblity. Couples need to communicate, whether it be constructive criticism, complaints, compliments, or day-to-day conversations. Her bf needs to learn to control his responses, which is the only thing he has control over. Yelling is an abuse of power or a desperate need thereof.

- Response by A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 46-55

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I think most of the above reasons why people yell are layers that answer this question.

After realizing one of the main reasons why I yell, I think I have an answer that will help solve this problem at the root and surprise a lot of people as well.

I say one of the main reasons people yell is because the person they are yelling at has very poor authentic listening skills.

I am not saying it is the "victims" fault. What I am saying is that the person getting yelled at is not listening enough and the loud person can detect this so they sub-consiously raise their volume in an attempt to finally be heard.


The solution I would recommend is to start listening and show the other person you are listening.

When i read a comment that says to just ignore them and they might stop yelling or that they have learned to ignore it, I think this proves my point beyond a shadow of a doubt.

Ignoring the person yelling at you will make that problem even worse.


Furthermore, the reason I believe this applies to couples is because they spend a lot of close time together and cannot really get away from it if there are other things keeping them together, such as a lease, mortgage or money.


This would also apply between co-workers, although to a lesser degree since they are only spending ~8 hours together.



Finally, I think its a raw deal that men get labeled as bad guys when they have this problem. I admit that anyone who yells, man or woman, has a problem controlling themselves.

My opinion is that it is a shallow judgment to hear the people next door arguing and count the one yelling as the problem.


So for the sake of couples or any two people who are together and would like to stay together or on the same team I want to say: Please, actually listen!


I hope this helps someone.


- Response by An Intellectual Guy, Male, 36-45

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I think most of the above reasons why people yell are layers that answer this question.

After realizing one of the main reasons why I yell, I think I have an answer that will help solve this problem at the root and surprise a lot of people as well.

I say one of the main reasons people yell is because the person they are yelling at has very poor authentic listening skills.

I am not saying it is the "victims" fault. What I am saying is that the person getting yelled at is not listening enough and the loud person can detect this so they sub-consiously raise their volume in an attempt to finally be heard.


The solution I would recommend is to start listening and show the other person you are listening.

When i read a comment that says to just ignore them and they might stop yelling or that they have learned to ignore it, I think this proves my point beyond a shadow of a doubt.

Ignoring the person yelling at you will make that problem even worse.


Furthermore, the reason I believe this applies to couples is because they spend a lot of close time together and cannot really get away from it if there are other things keeping them together, such as a lease, mortgage or money.


This would also apply between co-workers, although to a lesser degree since they are only spending ~8 hours together.



Finally, I think its a raw deal that men get labeled as bad guys when they have this problem. I admit that anyone who yells, man or woman, has a problem controlling themselves.

My opinion is that it is a shallow judgment to hear the people next door arguing and count the one yelling as the problem.


So for the sake of couples or any two people who are together and would like to stay together or on the same team I want to say: Please, actually listen!


I hope this helps someone.

I also hope to be corrected in case I need to be enlightened.


- Response by An Intellectual Guy, Male, 36-45

Rating Received: