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untitled / Dating / 2:51 PM - Sunday March 02, 2008
(Female, 22-25) asked:


Just found out my best friends bf cheated on her with a co-worker (1st time a kiss, 2nd time he slept with her)do i tell her....the hitch...im best friends with him too and was friends with him first.

Update: March 02, 2008.
Thanks for all the advice, mind you those of you who are wondering why he's a best friend if he's a cheater; remember I'm not the one he's cheating on. He has been nothing but a loyal friend to me and we've stuck it out through thick and thin. Gf/bf type relationships are just obviously not his forte :)



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A Creative (Female, 29-35, Other Profession) answered:

Screenname: 2shy4most


Seeing as I would lose respect for him cuz he did this, I would not value his friendship anymore. I would tell him to fess up or I will tell her cuz I would want my friend to tell me if the situation were reversed.

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Community Rating: Community Star

A Sweet Sarah (Female, 56-65, Artist / Musician / Writer) answered:

Screenname: scarlett4398


I would go to the boyfriend and give him an ultimatum. Either he stops cheating or he breaks it off with your mutual friend. If he doesn't stop, I wouldn't have him for a friend any more and I would tell the girlfriend. :)

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A Couch Potato (Male, 56-65, Transportation) answered:

Screenname: holyroller


STAY OUT OF IT. YOU ARE IN A "NO WIN" SITUATION

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A Married Girl (Female, 46-55, Administrative) answered:

Screenname: 40somethingf


Since you were friends with him first, I'd tell him that you know of his indiscretion and are going to leave it to HIM to tell her and if he doesn't, then you will. Once he tells her, she'll tell you that he confided his indiscretion to her and she'll want your advice. That way you'll know he spilled the beans and you'll not have to be the one who told.

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A Thinker (Female, Tampa, Who Cares?, Who Cares?) answered:

Screenname: roseytalks


Why would you even consider a cheater a best friend? Tell him you know about his cheating on your friend and he better fess up to her or you will. Rosey

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A Career Woman (Female, Frankfurt, 36-45, Other Profession) answered:

Screenname: fly404high


I would not say anything, because she will find out herself real quick.

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A Thinker (Female, 29-35) answered:

Screenname: wintercherry


I'd stay out of it... it's not your business and I'm sure if YOU know about it his wife might also be aware... Once my friend’s husband showed up at my door with "all his love"... I sent him to hell and didn't say anything to his wife mostly because I knew from her already he was a cheater and I didn't want to hurt her even more.

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A Thinker (Female, 29-35, Self-Employed) answered:

Screenname: mtnluv29


Nope. Stay out of it.

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A Creative (Male, 46-55, Alternative Medicine) answered:

Screenname: winterhaven


thats a damned if ya do, damned if ya dont kinda thing..
if you dont...and she finds out you knew about it..you're screwed..
if you do...it may come back to bite ya if she forgives him for it...then they will probably both hate ya..

tread carefully on that one...
yeah..i know...that wasnt much help

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A Jock (Male, Chicago, 26-28, Science / Engineering) answered:

Screenname: oserus98


that's a tough position to be in. you probably don't want to get in between them on this and don't want them to find out that you knew about it before hand either. you're not in a good position, hopefully she'll find out about it before you have to help her out. good luck.

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A Rebel (Male, Las Vegas, 36-45, Celebrity) answered:

Screenname: pedrojones


If they were married or engaged, you might want to "help" her to find out somehow.

At this point, let her find out for herself, i.e., don't be a tattletale.

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