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Why would a guy who is best fr ...
untitled / Sex & Intimacy / 11:03 PM - Friday January 04, 2008
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A Trendsetter (Female, Pittsburgh, 18-21, Other Profession) asked:


why would a guy who is best friends with a girl he wants to have sex with want to only be friends that have sex and not boyfriend/girlfriend? since they're best friends already wouldn't they make a good couple or does it boil down to her not being attractive enough?


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A Sweet Sarah (Female, Charlotte, Who Cares?, Self-Employed) answered:

Screenname: smartblond


??? why would he.. what is the benefit.. he has her has a friend, a sex partner and he can date around.. sounds like young guy heaven.. why in the world would he tie himself down if she is willing to play this game

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An Intellectual Guy (Male, 56-65, Self-Employed) answered:

Screenname: epiphanomaly


This is mostly a sign of the times, although there were a small percentage with this mentality throughout history.
In our increasingly depersonalized world, making a connection with another person means texting. They have no sense of the dynamics which go on between 2 people, let alone why.
He just doesn't get it. If he's otherwise mentally stable, just don't expect too much in this department. If there are a few things you really don't care for about him, you may consider looking elsewhere.
The point: If you think you need to change him, he definately isn't what you're looking for in the present, and that's where you live. Good luck, E.

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An Intellectual Guy (Male, 46-55, Self-Employed) answered:

Screenname: concorbp


Okay I get it. For me it sounded complicated but it’s really not any different then banging the girl next door that you grew up with and are close friends with. That’s the surface story. It sounds more like he asked for sex without admitting he likes you as a girlfriend. That’s a weird way to be shy. “I’m horny but I’m not sure how to ask you on a date.” So you’re thinking not attractive enough. Could be, but if he spends that much time with her he must not be that ashamed to be seen in public with her. And we now know he wants to introduce her to the folks.
Any couple that can be best friends while maintaining a relationship is miles ahead. Never the less I wouldn’t give out until he changed from friends to S/O’s.



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An Intellectual Guy (Male, 36-45, Other Profession) answered:

Screenname: shyguy63


Tough question because I find myself in that same position. I have a room mate/exgf. We have sex but we are also very good friends. I like her to the point of saying I love her but yet I can't seem to picture myself with her for a lifetime. I know that sounds bad but I guess to answer your question, maybe he is unsure of his feelings for you or maybe scared to enter into a relationship. give him time and hopefully he will sort it out.

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